Not Going Out: Its been 7 weeks now and... - Atrial Fibrillati...

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Not Going Out

heartbeat4 profile image
49 Replies

Its been 7 weeks now and I haven't gone beyond my front gate I have been walking in the garden doing about 5,000 steps a day but have become to afraid to venture out its really not like me. I used to go out everyday before lock down walking visiting friends shopping. I was always out and about to be honest I am getting a bit concerned that I wont be able to get back to normal. I don't drive and my husband keeps asking if we can go for a ten minute run in the car I cant bring myself to do that is it just me or does anyone else feel this way?

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heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4
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49 Replies
Paulbounce profile image
Paulbounce

Heartbeat4 wrote

"have become to afraid to venture out its really not like me"

And

"I am getting a bit concerned that I wont be able to get back to normal"

We all are sweetheart - it's pretty normal to feel like this at the moment. Things will get better - I'm sure they will ;-)

Great news by the way. You are doing 5000 steps a day - keep up the good work.

You also wrote

"I don't drive and my husband keeps asking if we can go for a ten minute run in the car I cant bring myself to do that is it just me or does anyone else feel this way"

Yep - it won't do any harm at all if you stay in the car and observe social distancing. I think you should have a short drive out with your hubby.

Enjoy

Paul

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply toPaulbounce

Paul thank you so much for your reply It has really helped.

in reply toheartbeat4

I agree with Paul. Baby steps. Our state here in the middle of USA is opening up monday. I have same thoughts as you. And truthfully no one really knows what is safe and what isnt. I havent been in a store in 2 months. No grandkids or adult kids here. We live in a rural isolated area so I do get outside but the thoughts of returning to normal seem a little surreal.

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply to

It has been very hard for you in the USA and it is true we none of us know what the out come will be hopefully a good one

in reply toheartbeat4

Thanks! We are and will survive💜

sotolol profile image
sotolol in reply to

How is your bear? Or is he a big bear now.

in reply tosotolol

He is getting big, at 13 weeks he weighed 35 lb at vet. He is a clumsy teddy bear kind of guy.

sotolol profile image
sotolol in reply to

The best type. I love dogs especially big cuddly ones.

in reply tosotolol

I will try and post a pic if I dont get in trouble🤣

sotolol profile image
sotolol in reply toheartbeat4

It will do the car good to have abut of a run too. 👍🏻

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply tosotolol

My husband is mechanic and that's what he keeps telling me

sotolol profile image
sotolol in reply toheartbeat4

Once a week will do. Just a little run. Do your confidence a treat. You deserve it. Don’t let it beat you. This virus needs to do one.

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle in reply tosotolol

Yes, the car wants at least 10 minutes' drive, say once a week, to keep the engine lubricated and the battery charged.

A little safe sightseeing during the lockdown probably is helpful for humans, too. We've been driving to a park about ten minutes away, every week or so, for a stroll across a space wider than our living room, and for a little star-watching while the skies are so clear.

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50

I don't want to be a party pooper, but the police have been stopping people in my area and asking where they're going. We are only meant to leave our homes for a reason, to get food, medication or other urgently needed items, or to a place locally for exercise such as walking. Just going for a car ride is not allowed.

I can understand how you are feeling and I think that is quite normal. Could you perhaps just have a short walk up the road with your husband, or get him to drive to a local park for you both to have a walk. I've been for a few walks and the lift they have given me has been amazing.

Jean

Koassilator profile image
Koassilator in reply tojeanjeannie50

Correcto. It's not being lawless or clueless & that includes the law. It's snap regulations being made up were discretion & common sense should prevail. Some overstep the mark, but so can the law.🤔

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply tojeanjeannie50

Thank you Jean I don't really understand why I am feeling this way I think home is the only place I feel safe I know its not logical and I must try and get out there as I know I will feel better just finding it difficult

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply toheartbeat4

Actually - having heard repeated messages of STAY AT HOME over the last 7 weeks - I think it quite logical and quite normal to be very afraid of venturing out, however, provided you take reasonable care and abide by social distancing, I don’t think it healthy to allow your fears to continue to prevent you from going for a short walk.

Feel the fear and do it anyway is my motto. Continued exposure is going to be the only way any of us will recover from this fear - but baby steps!

We have a field adjacent to our house with private access which is the only place I would venture into - when I know it’s deserted! If you live in a town with no adjacent open spaces I think it is perfectly reasonable to drive a short distance in order to exercise in an open area and my understanding is that is now common practice.

Today’s task is face masks.

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply toCDreamer

Thank you I have the book Feel the fear maybe its time to pick it up again.

I agree with Paul but acknowledge that Jean has a point too. As I understand it, provided you stay within your car, you are as safe as you are within your house. The police tend to be more active in areas which attract tourists/visitors and that is as it should be but there is nothing to stop you and your husband driving to maybe a local village shop and maybe he could pop in and buy a bottle of milk while you wait in the car. Perfectly acceptable and within the rules provided he maintains social distancing. It will do you the world of good to have a brief change of scenery and the risk to you and the public at large is extremely small.......

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4 in reply to

Thank you I will do it maybe not today here I go again and this is what I say to myself every day I really need to get a grip

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50 in reply toheartbeat4

Once you have been out, you will feel so much better. I know I did.

FancyPants54 profile image
FancyPants54 in reply toheartbeat4

You do. Need to get a grip. This virus is passed in droplets of breath and on surfaces where droplets land. It's likely that it can be aerosolised and therefor hang around inside unventilated spaces for a while. But outside it will just fall down.

Unless you are sheltering in place you do need to go out. If you feel safer wearing a mask, wear one, although they are mainly to protect others from us not the other way around. But go out. Today. It's Sunday. Ideal. Just 5 minutes for a walk will do at first and take him with you. If someone approaches step to one side and wait for them to pass. Then tomorrow, do it again. In a couple of days time do it again on your own.

I think all these people running and cycling down the same paths is a bad idea, all panting and breathing in each others exhaust air but walking around and stepping aside is fine in moderation. You can be out there and avoid people. Just think about it logically. There are shop assistants who have been enclosed with people for 2 months now and not caught it. The chances of you catching it going for a 5 minute walk in the fresh air are extremely low.

bennie06 profile image
bennie06

Well 5k steps a day must be around 2 miles so drive a reasonable distance to open space and walk there!!

Good luck.

actionteddy profile image
actionteddy

Yes I feel just like you do even going in the garden is a bit overwhelming. Had anxiety before all this happened now it's of the scale.Some times I think it can only be me who has gone a little stir crazy so in some ways it's good to read am not alone.Keep safe everyone xx

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply toactionteddy

Are you talking to anyone about this? I am currently supporting someone through a buddy system in a similar position who already anxious and depressed and am ringing them daily. There are many people with anxiety who are really struggling and I do wish the messages would be toned down somewhat and much more specific as we are going to need to learn how to live with this virus and keep ourselves safe for quite some time.

You take very good care of yourself and do not underestimate the damage this anxiety will cause longer term.

actionteddy profile image
actionteddy in reply toCDreamer

Thank you for your kind words much appreciated

Yes I do feel the news is always so horrifying and I do tend to keep looking on phone or tv for any glimmers of hope. Think I will have to try and limit or to once a day x

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply toactionteddy

Wise move.

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle in reply toCDreamer

Yes, too much bad-news TV can be traumatic. I remember mental health professionals being surprised at the number of avid TV viewers after 9/11 who ended up with post-traumatic stress issues just from watching the disaster over and over.

If you're on FB, there's a group called The Isolation Social that has lots of posts about free or cheap things to do during the shutdown, including virtual museum tours, garden tours, classes, mental health resources, printable colouring pages, all sorts of things.

If you sew, there are groups making scrubs or masks or scrub caps or mask ear-savers for hospitals and other health professionals. That can be very life-affirming and can help in keeping a sense of control, as well as helping protect caregivers.

Likewise for volunteering to make phone calls to shut-ins and other folks who need to isolate.

Best wishes. We'll get through this!

Mrsvemb profile image
Mrsvemb

I totally understand how you feel. I haven’t been out for 6 weeks and live on my own as I am a widow. To add to that I haven’t been able to go out for walks because of a very painful foot.

Yesterday, I needed to post a birthday card, so instead of asking my neighbour to post it when going for their walk, I decided to drive to the post box.

I was all ready to go and then I felt nervous at going out. Totally unlike me. Anyway, I could hear my late husband saying ‘go on you can do it’ so off I went. Oh I so enjoyed it and drove round the block twice taking it all in.

It was like seeing everything for the first time. All a bit eerie though because I only saw one couple walking. Usually there are plenty of dog walkers and a few horses too.

I know that we should only be going out for essential items, but I suggest that you go for a little drive to a local park and have a little walk if it’s quiet. It will do you good. That is perfectly allowable under current restrictions.

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply toMrsvemb

Good for you, well done. I’ve also been in lock down for 7 weeks now and beginning to go stir crazy but scared at the same time! I take immune suppressants so am in the ‘need to be shielded’ group.

Cally53 profile image
Cally53

If you're really worried about being out and maybe coming into contact with others, why don't you go out and walk in the rain. I walk every day despite getting my letter to say I should stay in (I have asthma as well as AF). I particularly enjoy walking in the rain as I find everyone else tends to stay in. Once you've done that a few times hopefully you'll get the confidence to go out at other times too.

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle in reply toCally53

Yes, we've had a few late-night walks, when fewer people are out. During the day, it's too crowded here to maintain reasonable separation; I don't want to come within 4m of others, if I can help it.

Morzine profile image
Morzine

Think you aren’t alone there, it’s a weird time.....you’re doung plenty of walking around the garden,,,,you arent sitting down so you ate halfway there.

I think it’s now time to just try and go for a little walk....you will feel so relieved getting the first one out of the way....and that will make you feel there’s some normal you inside you, it’s just been hidden a bit. You, the old you is still in there,it’s just been suffocated somewhat by this unreal way of life we r all in.

Chin up.....hey just go walk to end of road and come back have a cuppa and smile,

Sue

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer

It’s getting back to some sort of balance isn’t it.

Unfortunately the idiots will still be around and those are the ones who will disregard the safety of others - some go to fear whilst others go to rage and fury and want others to feel what they feel - which is also fear dressed as anger.

Barb1 profile image
Barb1

Really emphasise. I am not a timid person but I do feel like you. I force myself to go for a weekly walk with my OH but I am constantly in panic mode. The rest of the time I exercise at home. Sometimes we drive the car to walk, as that is allowed now and the car battery needs it. If my OH is collecting a prescription or something else I will go with him. Never very far, as there are no public toilets open now!

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle in reply toBarb1

Public toilets aren't anywhere I'd want to be right now, anyway. :/

Hilly22 profile image
Hilly22

I think the way you’re feeling is totally normal. We’re being fed a lot of sad and frightening stories by the media, probably aimed at people who don’t feel anxious enough to abide by the rules that ensure our public services aren’t overrun.

My other half (who needs shielding) and I made a decision at the beginning of March that we wouldn’t go out until the virus was eliminated or there’s a cure. That has eased my anxiety no end, but like you, we’re lucky to have a garden we can exercise in, and it’s so beautiful and uplifting at this time of year. Making that decision, keeping ourselves as safe as possible, is our insurance against some of the anxiety caused by this pandemic.

We have so much to do and enjoy at home, there aren’t enough hours in the day! Our biggest sacrifice and sadness is not seeing close family, but luckily (for once lol 😂) they understand x

Hilly22 profile image
Hilly22

That’s true John. We can only hope that if it lingers on it doesn’t mutate (which doesn’t seem to be happening), and that those who’ve had it will become immune, causing the spread to slow down or stop. Or ideally that they (I’m rooting for the Brits!) find a vaccine.

I agree... the New Zealand government got it right in my opinion. I do love Jacinda 💕

Stay well my friend x

paolina profile image
paolina

Here in the Veneto Region we have been allowed out from last week, (the big day for Italy is in fact 4 May)to go more than 200 metres from our doorstep, from 4 May we will be able to visit parents and relations. The restrictions have been a lot stricter than in the UK with local police control, spycopters & heavy fines. Thursday was my first day of "freedom" & I walked a km or more to the riverbank,my husband went into town. It was wonderful, but the following day we were already fed-up, I went for a walk round the district in places which were normally deserted and found that I felt a little bit annoyed that my peace had been invaded by others, everyone out walking, cycling etc. where normally I just saw one or two people walking. A friend had the same sensaton of intolerance of these people invading our space. I think more than us adults being afraid it's going to be worse for the children here in Italy that have not been allowed out (even though you can take your dog for a walk). Also on my walk we were all walking a metre away (despite wearing gloves and masks) and we wondered if this would continue after.

Koassilator profile image
Koassilator

Agree and it defeats the purpose. It's said the mask doesn't prevent one getting it but simply stops the wearer spreading it!

The question remains, what's behind the mask. 🤔

heartbeat4 profile image
heartbeat4

I would like to thank all you lovely people for your good advice and support I did manage to go out in the car with my husband just a short trip to get some milk I stayed in the car maybe next time it will be a walk (baby steps) Its good to know I am not on my own in feeling like this.

lovetogarden profile image
lovetogarden in reply toheartbeat4

Wonderful! So glad to hear you did that! Small steps. I hope we’ll all find some sort of balance and something approaching normal. And hopefully, a vaccine sooner than later. I’m in New York (though thankfully not in New York City area) And have stayed out of the grocery store and other shops since mid March. Finally had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I had some of the same anxiety you’ve experienced. It was very weird! But I had to do it and it ended up going well. Everyone being considerate. Not yet ready to go the grocery stores though! Take care!

EileenMary profile image
EileenMary

Yes I know exactly how you feel.

It’s very scary, I went out every day and I too wonder if I will ever go browsing round the shops or do my volunteering at the hospital. At the moment I don’t think I will.

colo60 profile image
colo60

If you're not careful you will make yourself ill, stress, anxiety or mental, first thing I did was to make my immune system as strong as possible, as we get older it is paramount, internet as all information from diet to minerals and vitamins, strong immune system and whatever ailment wants to attack , it's got a fight to beat us.. it's our body's insurance policy lol. I thankfully have not been frightened to death by the media and mantra's, I find so much illogical about matters, we line up 2 mtrs apart at a supermarket, yet when inside we all make contact touching the same fridge doors, fridge sliders, touch till conveyor belt, the list is endless, then some get in a taxi, opening door handles, touching doors etc' that have been touched throughout the day by others, I watched people board a bus, all stood apart but all grabbing the same boarding pole, all this, and I personally do not know 1 One person that's had this virus or died, and so I lead my life as normal and careful as I can, I refuse to make myself ill worrying.. please look after yourself but take that 10 minute car run and have a walk now and again with hubby, get a mask, wash hands, avoid people if you must .. be careful not paranoid X

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle

It's not rocket science! We know what to do when there's a plague, and have since at least the1300s. But there's always someone and someplace that's sure isolation or quarantine isn't really needed - not now, not here. Doesn't end well. Waiting is a mistake, just as it was a century ago, when Philadelphia held it's big morale-boosting parade.

Ginny_Ickle profile image
Ginny_Ickle

I don't see that here in England -- I see more people keeping distance when they see masks than not.

Ianc2 profile image
Ianc2

I am old and grey. I usually have a walking pole with me. If people come too close I just have a little cough or two. Seems to work a treat.

sarniacherie profile image
sarniacherie

I think many people will be feeling just like you are. This is an unprecedented time for all of us. I am an NHS ward clerk but as I am 72 I have had to stay at home since the 3rd week of March with a provisional date to return to work on 14th June. Like you, I am always on the go. Picking up grandchildren from their schools, WI, gardening and book clubs, water workouts, active retirement group and adult learning. I looked at my car last week and wonder if I will still be able to drive when all this is over. I try to look at it that I am being asked to stay at home to save lives, mine and others and to protect the NHS who are under enormous pressure normally, without the coronavirus adding to their workload. I feel I am playing my part, albeit in a very small way and I will continue till Boris tells me otherwise. If I was you I would muster up the courage and go for that 10 minute drive. I have a feeling it would do you good. Take care. X.

actionteddy profile image
actionteddy

Just read all the lovely comments as havnt been on here for a few days

Its good to hear that a lot of us are struggling. I have a wonderful and very patient husband who on a daily basis gives me encouragement to do things. Having had anxiety and depression all of my adult life it's come back with a vengeance. But nothing lasts for ever and the Summer is just around the corner which for me is my best time

Stay safe everyone xP S I didn't mean I'm glad people are struggling just that it's just not me sorry.😐

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