A bit off topic.......: Has anyone got any... - AF Association

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A bit off topic.......

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Has anyone got any tips on how best to wash and iron toilet paper? 🀨

66 Replies
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Have you forgotten to take your medicine again?😠😩

in reply to Jalia


B sure and add stain remover in prewash

You have to iron it, too? I just air (dry) my dirty laundry!πŸ˜‚

There are other natural options...

Now why didn’t I think of that......so many squirrels around too......πŸ˜‰

Mine disintegrates with the slightest amount of moisture

in reply to Enjoy

Yes Enjoy, but it was only meant as a β€œwee” joke to help lighten the mood. Stay safe and keep well.....πŸ‘


Try delicate wash πŸ™ƒ

Thanks for that. I needed a laugh this morning when one of the first things I hear is that on the 1 hour opening for NHS staff at Tesco there was a free for all with people knocking Tesco staff off their feet to get in. What do we have to do? Get armed guards outside all supermarkets. Are twonks going to start going to the supermarkets armed with knives etc? Maybe we should all just cough to make others keep their "social distance"? Only a total lockdown is going to work now. I hope someone on Twitter has already mentioned this to Bonking Boris so that he can be reactive and do this soon.

I am amazed at how selfish, and thoughtless people are. They just don't realise people are trying to help NHS staff and keyworkers for the benefit of the health of the nation. Goodness knows they are overworked already but now they are overworked tired and firightened that because they don't have sufficient protective clothing they will catch Covid19, they can't even shop for good food. Makes me so cross.

Here's the solution my friend.

Spray the used paper with dry shampoo and then shake off. A little staining may be left but that won't affect the absorbency when next time used. Pin on the washing line to air, ignoring the sneers of the neighbours who don't know this trick.

The beauty of this is you could save up to Β£2 per person a week. Now at one time you could have saved this towards a holiday, but I'm afraid the possibility of that treat has gone at the moment. However, if used to buy the dry shampoo you should break even.


And what if someone nicks it x

True! Someone may have to stand guard for an hour or so.

in reply to jeanjeannie50

I think it would guard itself for the first hour or three😱

in reply to john6

Oh John, that comment made me laugh so much. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£


I knew I could rely on one of my AF best mates to come up with a good solution to my dilemma......πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸ˜‚

I'm so glad to see all this advice. I was planning to use the cat, he looks very absorbent. Claws may be the downside.

Eatsalottie You made me laugh so loud I'm coughing...

in reply to Boombiddy

Oh no......check your temperature quick.....I’ll never forgive myself! πŸ˜‰


in reply to FlapJack

Don’t worry FlapJack , it's all Eatsalottie 's fault...

But of course :D

Sorry I peed myself, now I am going to have to change my tena.

Oh!!! Not the cat. 😱

Very, very carefully ... :)

Or hang it on the line eh???


in reply to Morzine

Now Morzine you've set me off coughing... can’t laugh that hard without coughing... Don’t worry FlapJack , it's not your faultπŸ˜‰

in reply to Boombiddy

Oooops sorry xxx

Please avoid using the tumble drier, I’ve found line drying with a clothes peg best.

Hi FlapJack

I don't bother washing and ironing mine.

I sell it on Ebay as "Only used once "

I'm making a fortune.

This time next year I could be a millionaire.

Well I suppose you could strain it and make new sheets from scratch. Might need a bit of bleach.

in reply to 123Abc123

I have a papermaking kit somewhere......

in reply to 123Abc123

That make anyone scratch!! πŸ˜‚

Oh you are a one! πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

This is where a bidet comes in handy.

First time I came across one I washed my socks in it,

Oh this is ridiculous the whole lot of you are making me laugh (and cough) too hard!

So I suppose, FlapJack that it IS all your fault now!

Flapjack take a bow!

Aren't the new bank notes washable? Or we could copy the Sri Lankan's and spray wash!

in reply to Barb1

the way things are going, toilet paper will be worth more than the bank notes!!

I find dock leaves very handy!!

As Buttcoin is the new currency my son has decided to save it. He now uses a leaf and a stick.

Buttcoin comes in denominations: truckload, (buttcoin millionaire), pallet, (profiteer), various pack size, roll, sheet.

If you're buttcoin poor the sheet isn’t worth it. It's Spring, the leaves aren’t all out yet, now's the time to become a leaf millionaire.

Health and Safety advice:

Only use leaves from deciduous trees.

I do not recommend the stick and leaf method if you are dyspraxic.

Here in the States we have a plant that is called, "Natures Toilet Paper" we have several in our front yard. They, being very prolific, have huge leaves, and have small bumps on it, but they are incredibly soft! Last year, I almost pulled them out of the ground. Glad I didnt, just in case........ Mullein Leaves as β€œnature’s toilet paper” because they feel like they were made for butt wiping! They’re soft and woolly in texture but also large and water absorbent! You can find this type of leaf almost everywhere.


in reply to Bambi65

Love it!

I would prefer bio-disposable options:

You could use vine leaves.

Or - do you have too much moss on your lawn?

To save bringing the lawn into the house, you could use the canine trick - drag yourself across your lawn with your fore-paws!

Holly is better for dermabrasion of other areas!

in reply to S11m

I'm dying with laughter at your lawn comment.

in reply to S11m

Well there I was frantically thinking I had no suitable leaves, but hooray you've reminded me of the two grape vines in my greenhouse. Was going to ask my gardener to take them up, but not now!

Only you Flapjack only you πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

Guilty as charged!! but it does seem to have done the trick for some!

Flyer wrote

...I don't bother washing and ironing mine. I sell it on Ebay as "Only used once "...

Best sell it on eBay auction rather than 'buy it now'. You only need a couple of people bidding on it and you'll clean up (pun intended).


Hi Paulbounce.

Brilliant reply. Don't worry already got it on as a starting bid of Β£30. They are going like s...t.

We have adopted the Roman communal sponge on a stick!

Not recommended Sunstreaker - it plays havoc with your piles ;-)


Forget the toilet paper, slide down the banister naked. And don’t forget to wash your hands afterwards while singing Happy Birthday.


in reply to Hilly22


in reply to Hilly22

Hi Hilly22

May I correct you, Happy Birthday twice.

Not slide down the bannister twice. Ha ha .

in reply to Flyer2820

All depends ... a double banister wipe might be required sometimes lol πŸ˜‚


Very carefully πŸ˜‰

Can't you just get your maid or manservant to do it?

You could always use both sides!!


πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚can’t speak for laughing thanks so much for making me smile.was explaining to my grandson on the phone that we used to cut newspaper up into squares when we were little which hung from string in the outside loo. He couldn’t believe it. How times change......... we WILL get through thisπŸ™πŸ»love to all Ursula xx

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