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Help for those finding loo roll shelves empty

Buffafly profile image
87 Replies

I see the next step in the coronaviris saga is for those of us who are elderly/vulnerable to isolate ourselves and our families are advised to visit us before this happens 😷 ☠️

Having lived the early part of my life on an African farm with a longdrop toilet I am able to help those of you who, like me, have found the supermarket shelves empty of loo roll.

1 Take a publication printed on poor quality paper - we used the Farmers' Weekly but not available nowadays unfortunately.

2 Cut into largeish squares.

3 Stack together and make a small hole in one corner.

4 Thread a piece of string through the hole and form a loop.

5 Bang nail in wall near toilet.

6 Hang paper on nail.

I hope that explanation was not too technical for you and that you find it useful 😋

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Buffafly profile image
Buffafly
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87 Replies
TamlaMotown profile image
TamlaMotown

Oh memories of visiting my granny in Ireland when I was little in the drafty outside loo😮 🤣

Finvola profile image
Finvola in reply toTamlaMotown

Spot on Tamla - my uncle built a bathroom extension to gran’s house in the late forties but she thought it was unhygienic to ’go’ inside the house and preferred her well-aired outside loo.

TamlaMotown profile image
TamlaMotown in reply toFinvola

😂

Kaz747 profile image
Kaz747 in reply toFinvola

Yes we used to go to the loo outside and cook and eat inside. Now we go to the loo inside and cook and eat outside with the bbq, pizza oven and outdoor kitchens.

Finvola profile image
Finvola in reply toKaz747

😂😂😂 That made me giggle, Kaz

Finvola profile image
Finvola

😀. You can broaden your mind at the same time with the correct reading. 😂 I remember it well in the 1940’s - with outdoor loo, nicely decorated door and whitewashed inside.

doodle68 profile image
doodle68

Buff :-) I grew up on a farm in Derbyshire with the luxury of a 2 seater outside earth closet where you could chat to a companion while doing the necessary or even read a bit of the said Farmers Weekly to them.

Another advantage was it was situated a couple of hundred yards from the house and trips out there in the cold winters made us hearty souls good at running with our legs crossed :-)

TamlaMotown profile image
TamlaMotown in reply todoodle68

Love it doodle 🤣🤣🤣

Finvola profile image
Finvola in reply todoodle68

Oh crikey - those were luxury versions! I remember seeing one over here when I was a child.

jennydog profile image
jennydog in reply todoodle68

This is exactly what I remember except that the farm was/is in Lancashire. Apparently I caused amusement, as a 3 years old, by asking the lady sat next to me : " Do you wipe or just drip ?"

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply todoodle68

Ayup Doodle68 I'm Derbyshire born Derbyshire bred, strong in th'arm and quick in th'ead !

Would that be Ashbourne, Matlock or which town/village up there ?

doodle68 profile image
doodle68 in reply tocycleman73

Na'then CM :-) I come from Darley Dale but in the 1950's staying with relations near Ashbourne for some years .

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply todoodle68

I was very close then Doodle with Ashbourne and Matlock...nice coincidence.

I have lived in London (West) for last 45 years... Blimey is it that long !!!!

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

We always learned it was "Derbyshire born and Derbyshire bred, strong in th'arm and thick in th'ead!"

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

You were clearly misinformed BevC how could you, how dare you suggest such a thing ? LOL

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

Maybe because I come from a tiny bit over the border into Nottinghamshire!!

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

Clearly derives from the strong competition between Derby and Nottingham folk (still exists in football Rams and Forest) however if you investigate further (google) you will see it's QUICK not thick. Nice to hear from you Bev, please continue !

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

My parents used to say "weak in th'ead"! I always thought it a bit rich coming from my mother who was born in South Wingfield.... My grandmother was trying to get to a relative who was a midwife there after going into premature labour in a rowing boat in the middle of Hardwick Hall lake!

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

Wick (weak) and thick presumably was taking the mick by people who were

very envious of us Derbyshire folk from God's Own County ! What do you say to

that ? Could it bring on your AF ? Hope not.

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

Doubt it since my 3 episodes of persistent AF have been brought on by one dose of pneumonia and two occasions of rushing about when the heat's been over 90C. Been told the next occasion will result in an AV node ablation and a pacemaker rather than another cardioversion.

My husband claims to be from God's Own Country ie Yorkshire..... but he was brought up in his grandparents' house and the border between Yorkshire and Derbyshire was a stream that ran under their house, so its debatable!

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

Yea my wife is Yorkshire bless her, and they do claim to come from a superior

County; but they're wrong aren't they ? So your husband lived with a foot in each County, that's fun. I wonder which Council his grandparents paid their Rates to, that should be the decider. Bear in mind it's where you were born, not necessarily where you lived. Sounds if you and hubby lived "on the edge" somewhat in your early lives.

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

Dunno about that... but I know my husband's father swapped his allegiance from Sheffield United to Sheffield Wednesday when the former club built a new stand on part of the Yorkshire County Cricket Bramhall Lane ground, and apparently it was unforgivable to support Wednesday living where they lived, but for him it was unforgivable to him to damage the cricket ground. So I guess they were definitely supporting Yorkshire.

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

From the Blades to the Owls aye. Blades are having a good season but Owls only moderate. The Bees slaughtered the Owls 5-0 on Saturday. The Bees being my adopted club. Football, football; shouldn't we be discussing atrial fibrillation on this

forum. We might get thrown off by the administrators, hope not.

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

Should hope not.....

cycleman73 profile image
cycleman73 in reply toBevCynfelyn

I shall speak to you again when you've finished with your Panic Buying BevC.

What will it be next after bog rolls..... any suggestions...the worlds gone barmy !!!

LOL

BevCynfelyn profile image
BevCynfelyn in reply tocycleman73

6 bog rolls for 3 toilets is not excessive I feel.... and the shelves that were empty in Aldi's yesterday were the cakes and desserts!

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50

The Farmers Weekly, my dear dad used to have that. You've brought back memories and it was always to be found lying on the bathroom floor. I'd look through it to find any entries that my dad would have marked on the pages so that I knew what was going on. I used to be such a super spy!

lixaian profile image
lixaian in reply tojeanjeannie50

Hi Jeannie and every one else.

Fantastic subject " outside loo" Any subject that stimulates such a discussion is of great value as it makes us all think of times past and helps to reduce depression , simply brilliant. We had an outside loo on my Grand fathers farm in Lincolnshire but Gran would not allow any paper inside it, there was a low sink inside with cold water supply and we had to wash our backsides rather than, in her words, [please excuse the expression] >." Smear the S%$£T" around our backsides with paper .

That brings to mind> in the Army we had " Thunder Boxes "what are now called portable loo,s. sounds alright but when we were in hot climates the smell was " Aromatic" to say the least. These were emptied by any one on Jankers [section 69 of the Army prejudicial to good order and discipline] and they had to be scrubbed clean inside by hand. I was always a good boy so didn't get charged with this task.

Well had my morning run and it was alright but the tingling in my fingers didn't go away so went down the garden got a sledge hammer and bashed an old log to pieces, my bossy daughter told me off as she was going to use the log as a centre piece on the lawn with a statue on it. I now haver to go to the garden centre to buy a log for her. piece now reigns as she has gone to work. Gosh how I miss work. Its true, work is more fun than fun

Jalia profile image
Jalia

Sounds familiar ........

sotolol profile image
sotolol

I had that loo roll in London where we lived as kids. I sent one to my brother a few years back he hung it in the bathroom. His kids when visiting asked where the loo roll was. He replied hanging up !!! You can imagine what followed. Ahh the good old days.

sotolol profile image
sotolol

😄

BobD profile image
BobDVolunteer

Great way to mess up my spectic tank I fear. Back along when we first used to come down yere we had an elsan as there was no mains water.

My, you know how to live! Takes me back to when I used to visit my Nan as a kid......so much easier to use than Izal.....😳😩😂

Gmc54 profile image
Gmc54 in reply to

Oh No!! The dreaded Izal!! That took me right back to infant class, and my first encounter with the dreaded izal. Totally useless as loo roll, but good to use for tracing if I remember correctly! 🤔😂

BobD profile image
BobDVolunteer in reply toGmc54

Or Bronco!

FicusElastica profile image
FicusElastica in reply toBobD

"Bronco, Bronco, tearing along the .... dotted line!"

Or we could go the Roman way and use a sponge on a stick? (Stamped "for external use only!" of course.)

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50 in reply toFicusElastica

Bronco Lane (Ty Hardin). How we young girls swooned over him!

youtube.com/watch?v=NXvuX8x...

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply toFicusElastica

I have a portable bidet - available on youknowwhere 😊

heartmatters1 profile image
heartmatters1

😂

Hilly22 profile image
Hilly22

Brilliant 😂 Newspaper was so much better than the Jeyes sandpaper which came later 😫

Goosebumps profile image
Goosebumps

You lot don't know how lucky you had it.......when I was young ( and Queen Victoria was still on the throne) , toilet paper came in a little box with a window in it , like a current Kleenex box only smaller. It fitted into a holder on the wall by the loo, you could pull out one folded sheet at a time. So far so good.

The paper was made by Jeyes as I remember, and it was loaded with disinfectant which smellt horrible. So far still so good.

However the paper was basically P200 sandpaper without the sand. Only really useful for origami. You couldn't fold it though because the sharp point created by folding would leave an edge designed to create a new hole. It was terrifying to use, I still shudder. Give me the Farmers Weekly any day.

I know lots reading this will immediately be clenching down there because they remember the bloody stuff too!

I blame it for my piles in later life.....oops sorry, too much information.

Finvola profile image
Finvola in reply toGoosebumps

I can still smell the horrible stuff. 😩

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer in reply toGoosebumps

That’s the stuff - Jeyes - you could cut yourself on that stuff- lethal!

in reply toGoosebumps

🤣🤣

tunybgur profile image
tunybgur in reply toGoosebumps

The Jeyes paper was actually used in all government offices until quite recently, and one of the reasons was to stop people pilfering it!

I remember all the staff in the offices used to keep their own personal 'soft' supply in their desks.

Desanthony profile image
Desanthony in reply totunybgur

So true. Some friends of ours who had a B&B also used Jeyes as it stopped the lady's using it for wiping away make up and using it as tissues!

Finvola profile image
Finvola in reply totunybgur

LOL - I well remember our education board handing down this edict to schools and colleges BUT when I went to the loo in the Board’s head office, three guesses what type of paper they had!! Severe, and very funny, letters were exchanged until we got our comfort back. Aw, thanks for that memory.

Tudee profile image
Tudee in reply toGoosebumps

You were posh if you had Jeyes.

Goosebumps profile image
Goosebumps in reply toTudee

My bottom never said 'oh this is posh'....it just retreated....

Tudee profile image
Tudee in reply toGoosebumps

Ha ha , does that make you a smart a-se

But it made good tracing paper!

CDreamer profile image
CDreamer

Exactly what my grandmother did until 1978 - when she discovered the ready cut versions but would only buy that scratchy stuff that looked & felt like grease proof paper. None of this Mandy pandy absorbent tissue....

We did the same growing up in Australia in the late 60s early 70s😃Had a dunny collection too😊

goldey profile image
goldey

You can also always Go Green -- and use washrags or small pieces of any kind of cloth to dry yourself. Wash them and use them over and over. Never have to buy paper again, save a tree!

Frances123 profile image
Frances123

I remember my Nan use to have the square sheets in a letter box box (Bronco) and I thought it was so posh. Always wanted to use the loo when I visited because of that, but oh the agonies when I did. At home it was Izal on a roll and was the slightly “softer” version of Bronco. I remember the long drops and the Elsan from holidays as we always went camping. Remember the pile of stones next to the long drop as well! Happy days........and yes, they were. xxx

Alessa69 profile image
Alessa69 in reply toFrances123

I seem to remember as kids we passed once off the Bronco signature to unsuspecting kids for their Autograph collections

opal11uk profile image
opal11uk

I remember it well, I grew up with an outside toilet and there hanging on a piece of string a neatly cut and squared pad of The Daily Mirror!!!! I often wondered what was printed on my botty lol

Suanna profile image
Suanna

Reminds me of my childhood!

Dangerousdriver profile image
Dangerousdriver

Why not use grease paper? Isn’t that what they used to use in schools?! Certainly seemed like it anyway 😂

reinaway profile image
reinaway

Did that in the 40's and 50's in oh outside loo!!😁

Cavalierrubie profile image
Cavalierrubie

Remember it well. It was the spiders in there that gave me the creeps!

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply toCavalierrubie

We had to check for snakes before using 😰

Cat04 profile image
Cat04

I can remember when I first started working in the civil service in 1977, toilet paper was of the grease proof paper variety and each sheet was stamped 'Government Property' 🤣

irene75359 profile image
irene75359

This thread has really made me laugh! We had the newspaper threaded too, then graduated to Izal, then finally soft toilet paper. I remember my mother really telling us off for pulling about a metre off the roll - 'two sheets are enough'!

Patient007 profile image
Patient007

One of my little jobs when I was a 5 year old in 1953 was that every Sunday morning I had to rip newspaper into little squares and make a hole in them and thread the string through and hang in the outside freezing cold toilet. Lots of spiders in there and I hated going in there. We all used to have a potty under the bed and when I was a bit older around 8 years old if I remember, I had to collect the pottys and empty into the "slop bucket" which had a lid on it, and then I it emptied down the toilet. I got sixpence for doing that. I remember how very heavy it was but I was terrified of dropping it.The good old days I think not! Ha ha.

Frances123 profile image
Frances123 in reply toPatient007

Oh a “Gazunder”, yes I had one as a child. Porcelain with flowers!

Patient007 profile image
Patient007

My Gran had one with flowers but the rest of us had white ones!

Ladypaula profile image
Ladypaula

When I was growing up we had an outside toilet and this was normality for us.This wouldn't faze me at all if it came to it ,but can you imagine the younger generation not used to this I think they would be horrified by this 😂😂

cbsrbpm profile image
cbsrbpm

Can you imagine the horror of the water companies if we all started to do this. It would certainly add to the sewer fat balls 😂

When I was young this is what we did when the weekly supply of stiff shiny Izal paper ran out. Oh those were the days 🤣

123Abc123 profile image
123Abc123

That brings back memories of my childhood when visiting my grandparents farm!

allserene profile image
allserene

I am afraid a long drop toilet wouldn't help me because I am excessively well endowed

jim-business profile image
jim-business

Down south (US) strong winds blew a man's outhouse down. (Tornado) he summoned a carpenter to build him a new one about 150 feet from his house. The worker told him he should build it next to the back door. The homeowner said that's too close it would smell up the house. The worker convincing the owner that it wouldn't stink built it there. Two weeks later the homeowner called the carpenter and said the smell was unbearable. The carpenter came and looked into the outhouse and said " no wonder, someone shit in it."

lixaian profile image
lixaian in reply tojim-business

Jim , Like it.

Jennyquilt0 profile image
Jennyquilt0

I heard about an outside loo where the hole was cut square to stop folk spending too long in there reading torn up newspaper!

Just like my Uncle Ben used to do!

Vixxster profile image
Vixxster

Thank you. My gram told me stories bout Sears catalog.

lovetogarden profile image
lovetogarden

My first trip to England was in 1976. I’d heard rumors about the harsh loo paper that I’d experience. But nothin had adequately prepared me for the wax paper squares in a government building with “property of the queen” (or something similar) printed on it. 😂 I did steal a few squares it and years later found it tucked in my travel notebook. Currently, my local grocery store is sold out of the bargain toilet paper. The brand we buy, made from recycled paper (just as soft as the slightly cheaper stuff!) isn’t sold out. I guess cutting the newspaper into squares is just cutting out the recycling manufacturers.... lol.

Crystalbowl profile image
Crystalbowl in reply tolovetogarden

I haven’t laughed so much for ages as I have done reading this thread. It is hysterical! I can remember all of it and it made me think of a time when, as small children, my sister and I were taken by our parents out for afternoon tea at Tarn Hows in the Lake District, a local beauty spot. I don’t know if it was a hotel we went to but the toilet was a 3-seater long drop. We were fascinated by this as you can imagine. Those were the days.

colo60 profile image
colo60

Not sure about the Farmers weekly Buffafly, I suggest anything political in printed form, I believe one gets a perverted sense of satisfaction : )

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly in reply tocolo60

😂

Catavellunii profile image
Catavellunii

Luxury in our house was Christmas time because tangerines were on sale each wrapped in tissue paper which was bliss in comparison to squares of newspaper.

Staffsgirl profile image
Staffsgirl in reply toCatavellunii

We were lucky...my grandparents had a grocery/greengrocery shop. We had quite a lot of those orange and tangerine wrappers. At their house, we had the option of newspaper squares or fruit wrappers. Luxury eh?

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly

Thanks for all the comments, many names I have never seen before! I'm glad I seem to have cheered you all up, me too 😂

wilsond profile image
wilsond

Lol! Thank you for the tip! Shall select a suitable tabloid.....

BobD profile image
BobDVolunteer

Some years ago a mate of mine bought a big old farm house in Suffolk and across the yard was a ditch and over the ditch was an old privvy with a three seater oak bench. Dad, Mum and child sized holes. English Heritage threatened to Grade one list it but I think he managed to detroy it before they could get their act together. The house was Jacobean and Grade Two and the front door Grade One so they were quite serious!

Smokie2D profile image
Smokie2D

I had a flat mate in the 70s who cut up his daily newspaper to use, we called him stinky inky! Always had money for booze but never to chip in for flats basic supplies!

PhyllisK profile image
PhyllisK

Will do! 😀

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