Sick and tired of being sick and tired. - Atrial Fibrillati...

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Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

β€’57 Replies

I'm tired of spending so much time with my illnesses. Will be 75 Saturday. Last Saturday spent the day in the ER for very severe headache. Felt dismissed, inadequately treated. Only went to the ER to rule out stroke. My regular hospital was on diversion so was taken elsewhere-not my regular docs. Felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. Frustrating.

I'm tired of having to be so emotionally invested in my A fib and hypothyroidism among other things.

I'm tired of fighting with mediocre doctors and money driven care.

I'm tired of the frequent skirmishes with the healthcare system over treatments they want to push and I don't always agree with.

Not going to post for a while. I need a rest from spending so much mental energy on trying to feel better. Maybe I'm just tired of trying to restore myself to better health which seems so elusive. And trying to maintain so much control over everything medical.

I want to simplify my life-less technology, less crowded cities, less dr visits, less often harmful meds, less interactions with so many people and the world in general.

My main priority right now is getting out of this senior living bullying "MAGA" community. Thought I could put up with it until I got my knees replaced. But they will have to wait til I find another place (city? state?) to move to.

Sorry to be so pissy. My PCP/GP started me on Gabapentin 2 months ago for diabetic neuropathy. The worst drug I ever took. Side effects are not worth taking this drug. Mainly swollen lower legs and feet and weight gain. Decided last week to wean myself off. So I'm detoxing off of it and I feel like crap. I know he meant well and believed he was helping. He usually does and I trust and like him. The only other doc I really like and trust is my Electrophysiologist. Am starting to take the supplement serrapeptase. After 40 years as a nurse I have so little faith in mainstream medicine. And my level of trust becomes less almost daily.

I believe I'll feel better listening to my gut more and doctors less.

My mother didn't believe in all this fancy medical care. Or hospitals. Or pills.

Maybe she was on to something!

And I'm really tired of the Orange Toddler we call our president. irina

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57 Replies
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rosyG profile image
rosyG

Well you are clearly feeling down! I empathise, being the same age as you! It is hard to accept all the different illnesses that pile up at our age and the majority of them are of course age related.I go from worrying about endopthalmitis after the regular intravitreal injections I am having for a vein occlusion, to high blood pressure crises that landed me in a and E ten days ago, to whether to have knee replacements because of the possible effects of the operation on AF- and other more minor things. I agree with you about the various meds that can make things worse- often having the right food can correct things a lot- potassium rich foods in the case of my AF- so one thing you could try, if you haven't already done so- would be to see it there are any dietary changes which would help some of the problems you list. Gentle exercise and enough sleep- back to basics like your mother said!

Hope you feel better soon

PS Also a qualified nurse but changed track to teaching!

β€’ in reply torosyG

Thank you rosy. Are you still working? I believe your years of nursing have probably contributed to making you a great teacher. irina

rosyG profile image
rosyGβ€’ in reply to

yes I still run some after school classes- had to cut back last week though until the BP meds start working!!

Hope you are feeling a bit better. I do think I'm like you in that I like to be in control of health issues- but difficult sometimes!!

β€’ in reply torosyG

Right! especially when we run into doctors who don't want to share control.LOL

So sorry you are feeling so badly. Im hoping once you get your knees fixed and recover from the surgeries, you will have a new lease on life. There is hope, right now it is hard for you to see but please believe it. Your knee surgery is going to be difficult but you are tough! Us old nurses are strong, you hang in there. Living with chronic pain isnt for the faint of heart.

β€’ in reply to

Don't I know it!

I subscribe to a wonderful website that sends me a short email daily with very succinct helpful advice.

Normally I don't want daily emails from too many people but I've been helped a lot by this site: <tinybuddha.com>

Yesterday here's what my email offered-talk about timing!

The quote is from THICH NHAT HANH.

"Do not fight against pain, do not fight against irritation or jealousy. Embrace them with great tenderness, as though you were embracing a little baby. Your anger is yourself, and you should not be violent toward it. The same thing goes for all your emotions."

Take care. irina

β€’ in reply to

wow that is an amazing concept! Like a fib begats a fib, pain/ frustration begats more pain/ frustration. When you are in the midst of the turmoil, it is hard to see any solutions. Like a boat in the dark fog searching for the lighthouse, is like the days of our lives. Melodramatic but I believe is true. We love you, hang onπŸ’œ

Kellyjelly profile image
Kellyjelly

Oh no Irina it sounds like you are having a really sh*t day and you are sick of trying to juggle it all and I’m not surprised.

My mum took Gabapentin for nerve damage from Shingles and it really affected her mood when she stopped taking it, she was very down and withdrawn and that’s just not like her. You mention you can feel you are detoxing from it, don’t underestimate the impact this might be having on your state of mind today and how fed up you feel with everything.

You sound like you just want a moment of calm, space, freedom and simplicity, take that time for yourself, it’s good to withdraw sometimes for a minute.

It’s healthy to step back and gather yourself but it must be for the purpose of finding your strength again Irina.

You come across to me as a strong independent and powerful woman and sometimes the very strongest people get tired.

I’m sending you lots of gentle best wishes, take good care of yourself, take some time and I’m sure you will feel better soon. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•

β€’ in reply toKellyjelly

Hi K. I'm grateful to hear how others have reacted to Gabapentin.

I've been re-reading my post and all the thoughtful replies I've received and thinking about how 'crazy' and unlike myself I feel. I'm very physically tired but slowly getting over this awful 'gabapentin experience'.

I've always been good in emergencies and picking up symptoms others are having but sometimes don't recognize what's going on with myself.

I believe everything emotional that's going on with me right now is due to stopping the Gabapentin. At first, I didn't think I would have any symptoms. I don't take a lot of meds, never had any problems with addiction, and even when given pain pills after surgery never take them all and end up throwing them out.

I have a good primary care doctor who I trust and who doesn't push meds of any kind but I've been having problems with my legs. He said he thought it was peripheral neuropathy and Gabapentin was helpful for nerve pain. I didn't want to take it but he said he takes it for his back.

I read the literature and googled information. Some doses are as high as 3600mg/day.

My prescription was for 300mg three times a day. A little medication goes a long way with me so I just took one 300mg capsule at night to sleep better and lessen discomfort. It worked for about 2-3 weeks with no side effects-or so I thought. We don't always see symptoms in ourselves. My friends started asking me what was wrong- I seemed irritable and 'not myself'. I realized they were right so I asked my doc to lower my dose to the 100mg capsules. He did and I took that dose at night for about 5 days. I noticed even if I didn't say anything many small situations and people annoyed me-lots of negative thinking, wondering about motives, and going over conversations in my head looking for slights. Of course, in the true tradition of much of our healthcare by solving one problem by creating another, someone suggested antidepressants! Duh! I won't even go there.

So I decided to stop taking them. I googled how to withdraw properly and what symptoms to expect. But because I had only been taking the Gabapentin a short time and at such a low dose I didn't think I would feel anything. I also read youtube stories about others who had gone through harsh withdrawals but they all seemed to have been taking the drug for a long time and at high doses. I thought it would be easy to just stop. Wrong!

Don't mean to be writing "War and Peace" here but whoever reads this far, understand this is, in my opinion and experience, a very addictive harsh drug that can cause problems in a very short time. So think more than twice before taking it. I still don't feel up to par but at least I know what is causing my problems and that it will be over soon.

I never thought I would be dealing with any kind of withdrawal and anyone going through it gets much more understanding from me now.

I know I've responded to Kellyjelly's post but I received so many wonderful, helpful replies this thank you is for all of you.

The scary part is also how often this drug seems to be prescribed for seniors. I found many people in my senior building are taking this drug. It might partially explain why there are so many 'distinct personalities' to deal with here.

It makes me angry because my take is that seniors are too frequently given dangerous, addictive drugs. Maybe the thinking is they won't be around long enough to realize they are hooked. I hope not. But nothing Big Pharma does or promotes surprises me.

Again thank you, everyone, for all your concern. xx irina

Kellyjelly profile image
Kellyjellyβ€’ in reply to

Good morning Irina,

I would just like to wish you a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

I hope you have a wonderful day.

I do hope you are feeling a bit better today and your body is getting over that awful Gabapentin. I had a long chat with my mum about it yesterday and she said it was really terrible trying to stop taking it. She pretty much cut herself off from her friends and said she would wander around her house at night crying for no reason πŸ˜ͺ we all noticed a very big difference in her but thought it was the pain from the Shingles. She had Shingles in her eye and over her face and the nerve pain and itching she has been left with has been life altering for her, the poor thing. She said that looking back it was actually scary how awful she felt when stopping the drugs. She was only in them for a few months and I’m not sure if the dose.

I don’t think it matters how long you take things for, I was on bisoprolol for 3 weeks and I was so poorly both physically and mentally on them I had to stop and even though it had only been 3 weeks I experienced racing heart for days when I stopped them. The nurse in a&e said it was probably rebound from the beta blockers. Some people seem to be incredibly sensitive to medication and I definitely fall into that camp.

Anyway I really just wanted to wish you a lovely birthday and hope you are doing better. Xxx

Have a great day! πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š

β€’ in reply toKellyjelly

Thanks K. I had a great day. Very calm-phone calls, posts, and cards in abundance but Jacob and I kept the day to ourselves. We didn't go out but had a relaxing time here and for dinner ordered favorites from our favorite Thai restaurant for delivery.

No cooking. No big cleanup. Casual clothes at home. No noisy restaurant on a Saturday night. And leftovers in the fridge for today.

Can't get any better!

And I'm feeling much better with a needed attitude adjustment. My sister called from Orlando and said in the nicest way "You're lucky to be 75. Many people don't make it this far." Needed to hear that. 🐱

Kellyjelly profile image
Kellyjellyβ€’ in reply to

So happy to hear you had a lovely birthday πŸ’• sounds like my kind of day!

My dear Aunty turned 81 yesterday and I said the same thing to her, β€œHow exciting to be 81!! What a privilege, let’s face it the alternative is pretty sh*tβ€œπŸ˜‚ we laughed our heads off.

Really pleased you are feeling s bit better 😊

Take good care

Globe-J profile image
Globe-J

Hello Irina

I emphasise with you a lot.

After wasting time, even hearing a crap like AF is forever, and dealing with ill-informed medicos, I decided to take matters in my own hands. Not an option to be taken likely, but please consider the Maze Procedure. I elected the most extreme form, in my opinion the most likely to succeed, an open-heart surgery. Happy to say, I have been free of the pest for over two year, able to run my 15 km almost as comfortably as before.

Irina, you may, should, explore less invasive option, however consider all. Fortunately, my cardiologist was instrumental in identifying the course and agreed with my decision. Your AF cause may be different to mine, so a less drastic measure like ablation may suffice.

Above all, do not give up. We are in the 21st century

Best wishes

J (-:

β€’ in reply toGlobe-J

Thank you G. I'm happy you are doing well after having your Maze and I hope your AF stays gone forever. Not an easy recovery.

My a-fib is permanent but very well controlled. I did have a "pace and ablate" which has enabled me to get off all cardiac meds. Very happy about that. And I asked for and got a Watchman device to get myself off anticoagulants. I'm VERY happy about that.

I know sometimes in life medicine is necessary but mostly I'm happy keeping meds to a bare minimum. It seems like in today's medical world drugs have many more serious and common side effects than they did years ago. Makes me wonder how many short cuts might be taken in research and development to cut costs.

Just me being cynical!😑 irina

Appelonia profile image
Appelonia

I was so touched by your post and could feel the deep pain and frustration beneath. Dealing with medical issues is EXHAUSTING ! Almost daily I try to find the balance between surrendering to what is and being a proactive change-agent. I wish you luck in finding that elusive sweet spot. I send you as much virtual support as i can.

β€’ in reply toAppelonia

Thank you, A. xx irina

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50

My lovely friend, I don't like to hear that you are feeling so 'fed up', but there are times when we all feel a bit that way - we just can't help it. It sounds like a lot has been going on for you recently and I can understand your need to escape to a place more in touch with nature and away from the madness that is the world today.

Now let's have a little fantasy here - you know you and I are good at that ..... remember....hunky firemen?

I'm going to send my plane to pick you up and take you to my cabin in the mountains of Montana. They're full of snow right now and look beautiful behind the lake where my cabin is set. The log fire is blazing in the sitting room as is the one in your bedroom, talking about your room it has a veranda with a bird table set there for you to watch them feed. I've known deer come right up to the house too. I'm going to be writing most of the time, so the house will be very quiet apart from the crackling of the fire.

A lady comes in to cook wholesome meals for me each day, I hope you won't mind the smell of that wafting through the house, but know you will enjoy eating them. She is such a jolly soul and you are bound to hear her beautiful voice singing as she works. Oh yes, a neighbour who lives a mile or so away has asked if he can bring his horse drawn sleigh to take you for a ride? I have something that's a little like a huge thick sleeping bag for you to sit in for the journey. Snuggle up and dream away all of life's stresses.

Big hug and don't stay away from this forum too long.

Jean x x x x

Kellyjelly profile image
Kellyjellyβ€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

Aw jean that is so lovely ❀️

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

Another fan of hunky French firemen.

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50β€’ in reply to

I think it's just the attraction to men in uniforms - so masterful, manly and heroes too!

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

Know what you mean, been married to a policeman for 54 years. But a French Fireman is something else!πŸ‘πŸ‘

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

And (from a girl in the US) fine, foreign accents! I'm a pushover.

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

Hi Jean. I'm packed!! I think you are an INFJ personality type (I am). And I think many of us here are. It's a good thing-wonderful, intuitive people but maybe not always appreciated by others in the world.

For interested souls google Meyers-Briggs Personality types.

Many people think outside the box but, imo, INFJ types don't even know there is a box.🐱

Not necessarily a bad thing. My Electrophysiologist(who I love and has performed my Pacemaker, Ablation, and directed me to the right person to perform my Watchman procedure) all with nary a post op problem once shared with me that when he was growing up his parents told him he not only thought outside the box but he didn't even know there WAS a box!

Maybe more doctors should throw away their boxes.

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

And the horse-drawn sleigh is a Russian troika being pulled by three horses! I actually got to ride in one in 1975 in the old Soviet Union. Cost lots of american dollars but worth every penny! πŸ˜‚

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50β€’ in reply to

Irina, it sounds like you've had the most wonderfully interesting life! I've had the same, aren't we lucky!

I had to look up INFJ personality as I'd never heard of it. I tend to say what I believe is right and helpful rather than reply within any constraints. Probably irritate a lot of people by being so outright and stating what I believe! Have been accused in the past of having my head in the clouds, but I'm me and I like the way I am and certainly hope I don't offend others. Face to face, I warm to very few people and can tell almost instantly whether people are on the same wavelength as me. I think we INFJ types look for like minded people to communicate with.

Yes, I agree if only doctors would throw away their boxes, then progress would be made! You realise that a lot of people wont have a clue what we're talking about? Lol

I'm pleased you're sounding perkier. Have lit your fire and the plane is on its way to bring you back to the beauty of nature, peace and calm.

Jean x

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

I'm the same about people. When I walk into a room with other people I can tell right away if the energy is positive or negative. Often I feel uncomfortable and need to leave if possible.

Also, I have what I guess I would call a 'good bull@$^% meter'. People that are picked up on my meter seem to sense I'm not easily taken in and don't want to be around me. This is fine because it saves a lot of time with knowing where people are coming from and who would be a 'toxic' person for me.

I've done a lot of reading about the personality types and it has helped me know why I am the way I am and become more comfortable with myself. It has especially helped in evaluating new doctors who I know have the knowledge to treat me but who I will or won't have a rocky professional relationship with.Also, it helps me understand where others are coming from-esp when I have a hard time understanding what makes them tick.

I don't look at the types as carved in stone-just another tool to understand the world better. If I were giving someone advice about moving into a group setting like senior living I would say know your personality-introverts and people who need a lot of alone time to recharge might not find senior communities the best situation.

If I had figured this out earlier I probably wouldn't have moved here.

C'est le vie. All the posts I got have helped me feel better. Glad I posted my 'sick and tired' saga-almost didn't. xx irina

PS I have had a lot of opportunities in my life. What is interesting is that my mother died when I was 4 in a car accident. My birth family was very rural Georgia-redneck you might say-good people but not very educated. My father was still flying for the Army-Air Force right after the war and was Swedish American. He did not get along with his in-laws so took me out of Georgia and into a very well-educated German family in Miami Beach.

Years later when I went back to get to know my birth family we had hardly anything in common. My mother's sister made a very well-meant comment saying to me "Your problem is you complicate life by reading too many books."

And therein lies the difference. Nature or nurture??

I've had a very (unplanned(, lucky life filled with opportunities. xx

β€’ in reply tojeanjeannie50

Just got this quote from one of my 'regulars'. The site is Introvert, Dear (introvertdear.com).

"Some days the world is too loud for a quiet soul."🐱

jeanjeannie50 profile image
jeanjeannie50β€’ in reply to

I totally agree with those words as I'm a great lover of quiet. I often say that I'd like to be a drop out in the mountains somewhere and shut the world and it's squabbling out completely.

Enjoy profile image
Enjoy

Wish you lived near enough for a big hug. One thing that I found brilliant for swollen legs/ankles is support tights. Not stockings, they cut across where they stop. I use them permanently (not in bed!) as I have swollen lower legs immediately I try without them. Please keep writing your posts, we are your friends.

A smile for you... Why can you never go hungry in the dessert..... because of the sand-which-is there. An old one but sent to raise your spirits.

β€’ in reply toEnjoy

That's a good idea about tights. Never thought of that and no doctor ever suggested that as a solution. Your right about the support stockings. With as many medical advances we now have nobody has EVER invented a pair of support hose that doesn't cut off circulation somewhere along the way!

And the sizes always seem to be only fit for someone with very thin legs and no swelling.

Which defeats the purpose. This are not the patient group that usually needs the stockings!

seasider18 profile image
seasider18

I had hoped that life would pick up for you after your Watchman device was fitted and you got away from Warfarin. Have a nice birthday and that Guinness you promised yourself. I wish that I could push back the years to 75 when I was travelling the world as I'll soon be 85.

β€’ in reply toseasider18

Thanks. I had my Guinness on St Patrick's Day and will certainly have a great birthday Saturday. Re my Watchman. It's doing fine and so happy to have said goodbye to coumadin. I named him Sydney. We're very close!🐱

Now I believe all my odd thinking and mental 'stuff' has been caused by Gabapentin and getting off or it (post about this below in a reply to Kellyjelly).

Terrible drug, imo. xx

seasider18 profile image
seasider18β€’ in reply to

My GP offered me Gabapentin for my drug induced neuropathy (Cipro and Fluoroquinolones) again last week. Again said that I do not take mind bending drugs. Two neurologists have suggested it and it's relative pregabalin.

gov.uk/government/news/preg...

Stick to the Guinness as the adverts say It is good for you :-)

Now there are also restrictions on prescribing Cipro and Fluoroquinolones .

β€’ in reply toseasider18

Good for you. I wish I had stuck to my guns. I'm happy you have avoided gaba and its relatives.

When I first got a-fib I stopped alcohol 100%- not a big drinker but everyone seemed to think it was very harmful. It can be for some but I'm easing back into an occasional Guinness or glass of red wine (or 2) I'm 75 Saturday. What the he$$! Certainly can't do any more harm than some of these drugs pushed off on us.

Thank goodness alcohol was discovered before Big Pharma got its hands on it!

Off topic. When my Watchman device was healed in place I took my last coumadin pill with a glass of champagne. xx

seasider18 profile image
seasider18β€’ in reply to

I seem to get the worst side effects recorded for any drug I'm prescribed and now refuse most of them. My last GP said that he only knew one person to suffer so many side effects and that is Margaret... his wife. Three neurologists have suggested Gabapentin and Pregabalin and another very expensive one whose name escapes me.

We are not alone my GP says that 30/40% of patients don't take or even go for the drugs prescribed. I'm glad to say that my daily Red wine does not effect me. I very seldom drink beer or spirits nowadays as I much prefer wine.

I Usually drink the cheaper sparkling wines. I had planned to retire when I was 60 but six months prior to then (March 1994) the company I worked for announced it was moving from Surrey to Essex so I was very happy to go early and with some redundancy money so I bought a bottle of Champagne on the way home.

β€’ in reply toseasider18

I think the other cousin to Gabapentin is Lyrica and it is the more expensive.

Personally I believe we often cause less harm by having a nice glass of wine instead of taking many of the dangerous meds prescribed with abandon.

Over the years I sometimes had patients tell me they were very 'medicine-sensitive' and also they could feel a difference between some generics and brand meds.

In those days no one took them seriously and many doctors and pharmacists still don't.

But a doctor I trust made a comment on the subject that motivated me to do some research. He said there is evidence that there are more people sensitive to meds than previously thought and the basis for this 'hypersensitivity' may be the different levels of dopamine different individuals have in their brain. Makes sense to me and shows patients often know what they are talking about.

Also we are all so different in our internal makeup that it has always surprised me how pharmaceuticals recommend such a narrow window when coming up with dosage amounts. No wonder so many have side effects- probably taking more than they need. Just a thought.

Even Miss Marple comments that she prefers liquid medicine "in big brown bottles" because you can always pour them down the sink.

β€’ in reply toseasider18

Just read the article you shared about gabapentin et. al. being reclassified as "C" in April 2019. Have't heard about similar changes in the US.

Right now everyone here is focused on opiods which is good but sometimes drugs like gaba can almost be more dangerous because it's so easy to get larger quantities at one time and since patients aren't warned of serious problems they don't believe they can be harmed by them until it's too late.

cat55 profile image
cat55

I am really sorry to hear you feel so down. I don't post very often, but I do read, and your posts have been positive and helpful. You must take time out and try to regain some equilibrium in your life, difficult to do sometimes, though. As an ex nurse too, finishing my career as a Macmillan nurse, I do wish that there was a more holistic approach taken to our care. In our surgery there is a notice saying, please only discuss one issue with the Dr. in your appointment!! Mind you, my much missed Dad used to say, stay away from hospitals they always find something wrong with you even when there isn't. It used to make me smile. Have a rest, be kind to yourself. We are living in disturbing times and need to step back sometimes from it all. My best wishes, Kath.

β€’ in reply tocat55

We're on the same page. When I started working in 1965 in the Operating Room I remember believing that so many medical problems could be fixed by surgery.(As BobD says-paraphrase- 'if you go to a carpet salesman you will buy a carpet'.) I was 21, a new graduate and thought I knew a lot!!

But the older I get the less I believe in mainstream medicine. I would love to have a holistic doctor but here (US) they are expensive and insurance won't cover.) I do look for alternative solutions to health problems as a first line of treatment. And I have doctors that listen to my suggestions and support my choices much of the time.

My mother didn't like hospitals or doctors in general. She had a lot of smarts about taking care of ourselves and when to buck the system. I find myself following her footsteps more and more. And probably being better off for it.

wilsond profile image
wilsond

Sorry to hear you feeling so low,but can understand why! You sound as if you have a clear notion of where you want to be heading,so that's a great starting place. I wish you all the best....by the way,there are a lot of fairly inept leaders around!!! Best wishes to you xxxxx

β€’ in reply towilsond

I agree about 'inept leaders'. Scary enough by themselves but when their role models seem to be tyrannical dictators it ups the ante.!!! Enough said!

Sometimes my wicked self would like to fly one of the orange baby balloons in front of my senior building and watch all the " MAGA" hat owners go berzerk here.πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜†

wilsond profile image
wilsondβ€’ in reply to

Think you should just for fun!

β€’ in reply towilsond

Seriously considering it! LOL. But a new problem is beginning to gain ground here in a small, quiet but scary way.

As you can see from the news T. is very vindictive and retaliative, IMO. Not only to the rich and powerful politicians who disagree with him but also to average rank and file who disrupt his rallies or speak up even in small ways.

I've noticed his supporters in my building get very aggressive if anyone criticizes their 'idol' and I have heard a comment or two about letting 'people' know if something offensive is said about him.

It seems to me there is a subtle idea flowing from his rhetoric that gives permission for people to 'become their brother's keeper'.

I'm losing my idea of feeling comfortable to express myself and tend more and more to keep my mouth shut around some people.

I'm probably more of a coward that I'd like to believe but I don't want to find myself wintering in Siberia as a guest of his friend Putin's government. Humorous but not really. It's extremely divided here and getting more so daily. These tiny loss of freedoms start slowly and seemingly innocuously then they slowly become the norm.

Just my opinion. Sorry to get off topic. It's not as comfortable living here as it once was. And I'm afraid he will get re-elected. There are many people here who support him and believe his compassionless policies are the best thing for the country.

From my understanding of history authoritarian leaders usually have a strong citizen base who have kept their true opinions quiet until a leader lets them know it's okay to become open in their views.

History lesson over!!

Buffafly profile image
Buffafly

You need this dailymotion.com/video/xs6rpu

My Bunny Planet is where I lived as a child in the beautiful mountains in Africa, a simple life (and very little access to medical care!) X

Buffafly profile image
Buffaflyβ€’ in reply toBuffafly

PS Moss Pillow is the one for you Xx

β€’ in reply toBuffafly

Thanks, B. I can be very realistic when I have to. My family calls me the 'Giraffe'. They say my head is always in the clouds. Not all the time!

But when things are tough I have many pleasant places and scenarios I can escape to when I need to get away. An ability that has helped me get through many difficult moments. A psychiatrist might be surprised to know how easily I can transport my mind to a happier place for a brief respite when the 'here and now' becomes too difficult or even just boring. I suspect many more of us have developed this coping ability but don't talk about it because we feel we are not the majority or the "norm". (Whatever that is.)

Music, headphones, and my playlists are usually not too far away. They help the process. They are always in my purse when I have to go the hospital.

Loved the Bunny Planet. I had never heard about this and found the book on amazon "Voyage to the Bunny Planet" by Rosemary Wells. I feel badly for so many adults who no longer understand how keeping our childhood ability to fantasize (sp?) can help us cope with many things in life-especially pain and discomfort, and the isolation that almost always accompanies our health care problems.

A great untapped therapy. πŸ‘πŸ±

Anyone else on this page? irina

Buffafly profile image
Buffaflyβ€’ in reply to

These books were favourites of my grandchildren. Growing up myself in a lonely environment did wonders for my inner life. Sometimes my imagination is too vivid!

β€’ in reply toBuffafly

Better too vivid than non-existent.

I googled Moss Pillow and saw it was one of the Bunny Planet series. It looked like it might be written for me so I ordered a used one in very good condition from Amazon this morning. The new ones started at $40.00 + dollars. I also ordered another book and 2 DVD's - a birthday present for myself. Have always had very good experiences ordering used books, dvd's, and cd's from amazon.

I had never heard of Rosemary Wells-probably not known that well by many Americans. So I've decided to buy the Bunny Planet set as a birthday present in April for my 2 grand-nephews who are identical twins and will be 2.

Growing up for me the best presents were always books and my sister believes the same. I think we had more books than toys. Thanks to you and Jeanjeanie for introducing her to me.

xx irina

Buffafly profile image
Buffaflyβ€’ in reply to

My first two daughters were born a year apart and behaved like twins though very different personalities. Their favourite was 'Noisy Nora'. My third daughter liked the one about a boy who was bullied when he started at school (can't remember the name). She has the most wonderful understanding of feelings which apply just as much to adults as children.

β€’ in reply toBuffafly

I think there is a lot of wisdom in many children's books. And if we had read them or had them read to us we would be better off as adults.

Just sharing: Sometimes I re-read certain favorite books to temporarily change my negative adult mindset back to 'happy child mode'.

Two of my favorites I have sitting out are both by a lady named Kathy Hoopman. They are picture books with minimal text.

1) ALL DOGS HAVE ADHD" and

2) ALL CATS HAVE ASPERGER SYNDROME

Learning human lessons by using animals is a great teaching device. xx irina

barbly1 profile image
barbly1

I also noted in your comment your frustration with the Orange Toddler and the MAGA community where you find yourself. The political news in America is so negative and discouraging, not to mention enraging and frustrating, that if you spend any time tuning in to it at all, it can't possibly be doing your heart or psyche any good. I have also had to completely unplug from it for periods of time, because it is impossible to stay positive while keeping up with our current affairs. It's good to focus on your own self-care and positivity and let the world sort out some of these other contentious issues without you, at least for a time. Current affairs in America is exhausting and depleting right now, and not helpful to healing and well-being. Hope you feel better once your Gabapentin ordeal is over. Maybe we need a new slogan, "MOBGA" -- Make our bodies great again!

β€’ in reply tobarbly1

You're absolutely right about the news here and I limit my time. i watch certain journalists I like on CNN but not every day. I get really tired of the pundits and talking heads that think viewers too stupid to understand the news without their explanations.

I also try to have a sense of humor: Sending you a PM with 2 Trump jokes. irina

β€’ in reply to

Hi barbly1 couldn't access you to send PM. irina

barbly1 profile image
barbly1β€’ in reply to

Not sure why, but can you send it to my chat, above?

β€’ in reply tobarbly1

Done!

fibber-me profile image
fibber-me

Irina , I recently downsized my life: Moved to a 325 square foot apt - little patio....- still in the city where grocery, pharmacy, restaurants, museums, parks, all within quick reach. Simplified my life. Watch anything on TV but these news commentators. Love history, weather and food channels. I get Alexa to read me a bedtime story at night. Walk to the National Cathedral almost every day. Getting rid of so much β€œstuff” and simplifying to my needs is helping me. Taking Busiprone for severe anxiety, AFib medicine, etc... grateful for them.

β€’ in reply tofibber-me

I did a big 'downsize' before I moved to senior living; never liked clutter-can't think clearly or feel relaxed with too much 'stuff'around. So my physical environment is pretty uncluttered and organized.

But I've learned that I still have to clean out and unclutter my mind which is much harder. There are old suitcases and steamer trunks full of past experiences that sometimes won't budge no matter what! πŸ˜•

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