Work: Today I made the heartbreaking... - Atrial Fibrillati...

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Vonnieruth profile image
59 Replies

Today I made the heartbreaking decision to step down in my role as senior at work I did a twelve hour shift yesterday and knew by ten o clock last night that my body would not let me continue doing these long shifts I have been AF free for a few months now but felt I would push my luck if I continued with the long shifts

I have broke my heart crying as I love my job as senior but at least I will now be able to care hands on more I tried my best to keep my position but my health must come first from now on .Thank you all for your support in my phased back to work I feel I let you all down

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Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth
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59 Replies

Hard decision to make but you must do what is in your best interest. I had to retire a year early at age 64 as a home health nurse as my knee was too painful to be safe. I too loved my job and it also provided me a feeling of being helpful and useful. I thought I would miss it terribly but suprisingly I didn’t. It has been a year now, I miss my paycheck but I really don’t miss the work. My life is much less stressful. I didn’t know I was under so much stress until it left. Ive been trying to focus on my health, getting daily exercise, eating better, resting better. My dog gets longer walks. I am stopping to smell the flowers more. You hang in there. Who knows where your detour in the road will lead you💜

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply to

Thank you I hope to still help with careplans It's something I love writing in depth about a person

in reply toVonnieruth

That’s really great you can stay connected.

I think you are being very brave and sensible. You have tried and know your limits. Life is too short. You don't have to prove anything . You are still part of the work force and I'm sure thst your experience will make you more valuable.

Best wishes

Sandra

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply to

Thank you Sandra Just so upset about it I keep crying

Yvonne

Hilly22 profile image
Hilly22

Gosh I so feel for you Vonnie, but from what you’ve said, that’s got to be the right decision for you and your welfare. I imagine you’re really good at the more hands on side of things, more contact with people, and missed it after your promotion??? x

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toHilly22

Love both sides of it Hilly I love assessing people getting to know all about them then putting it all in their careplans

Hilly22 profile image
Hilly22 in reply toVonnieruth

And I bet the residents love having that extra contact with you. I know people who’ve turned down promotions because they wanted to stay in front of people instead of behind a desk. But the most important thing is that you don’t exhaust yourself with those long long shifts. At least you gave it a go - kudos to you 😊

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toHilly22

Thank you I will get use to it I guess

Edm174 profile image
Edm174

Aww vonnie that must have been a hard decision for you !!!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toEdm174

Was hard Still crying over it Sure I will survive though

Edm174 profile image
Edm174 in reply toVonnieruth

It’s good that you are staying too !! Wish I could drop a day ?? Maybe after Christmas I might ask about it !!!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toEdm174

Do what's best for you Listen to your heart I cannot afford it really but I was going to make myself ill again if I continued with twelve hour shift and I ain't getting any younger unfortunately

Edm174 profile image
Edm174 in reply toVonnieruth

12 hours is a long shift !!! My hubby has prostrate cancer they going to operate next month so I need to work till he on the mend and then I will drop a day !!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toEdm174

Sorry to hear that Hope all goes well for you both

Mrspat profile image
Mrspat

Not sure if you are in a position to give up paid work but there are a lot of voluntary organisations who would love to have someone of your experience working with them. As a volunteer, you get to choose your hours and needn’t feel guilty if your AF makes life difficult.

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toMrspat

Thanks Mrs pat will think about that

djbgatekeeper profile image
djbgatekeeper

Hope you are ok, well done for making such a difficult decision, putting your health first is always going to be the right one.... Take care and have a good evening.

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply todjbgatekeeper

Thank you

Nobody knows what’s best for you Yvonne, better than you. I think you are being very sensible doing what you can do well, within the current limits of your health, cos if you knock yourself out there are NO winners.....as you get stronger and more confident I’m sure you will slip back into overdrive, as they say....you can’t keep a good person down....just do it in your time eh!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply to

Thanks Flapjack Fingers crossed I can bounce fully back

Kaz747 profile image
Kaz747

Sending you a big hug Vonnie. I have tears in my eyes thinking of your decision (which makes typing this difficult). I’ve already had a discussion with my boss about stepping aside from my senior role and we’re looking at creating a part-time role if and when I make it back to work. My worry though, with me being a workaholic, is often a part-time job becomes a full-time job with part-time money. Whilst there are obviously financial implications the hardest thing for me, which you may find too, is the psychological and emotional impact. In many ways I feel like a failure, like I should be able to get over this and get on with my life and career. I don’t know if I want to be working alongside someone else who is doing my job (although I love the lady who is now doing it). Everyone says you’re health is the most important thing which is true. In an ideal world I’d retire and do volunteer projects that interest me and enable me to give back. Unfortunately that won’t pay the bills. Take care xxx

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toKaz747

I fully understand what you mean I'm my head I can do my job but my heart and body won't let me The twelve hour shift proved that the other day I'm glad you can have a position made for you Wish I could have remained part time senior but not possible Financially I will struggle as I still will have to pay travelling costs out of half the money .It was a hard decision but I now accept my health is more important

Kaz747 profile image
Kaz747 in reply toVonnieruth

Oh for the Lotto life 😃

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toKaz747

With the lotto win of the money lol

Yvonne,

Well done you, at the end of the day you come 1st, 2nd and 3rd. No question. Give yourself a break, master this mongrel AF, get it under control, let it know who is boss of your body ............. then one day .......... you will come to the realisation that you are well again. Then you will choose something different to do, but which the skills you have will be the foundation of something new and exciting.

Remember, as one door closes, another door opens .......... and you move from room to room so to speak.

May the force be with you.

John

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply to

Thank you so much for saying that

wilsond profile image
wilsond

Now then! No one would feel you let anyone down .You gave it your best shot,and tried.It is never easy feeling we have to make decisions we really don't feel ready for.I did recently leave work,and only just getting into the new 'me' .You needed to be sensible about your health above anything else,and as you say,bonus is more time face to face with people.

I wish you the best x xxx

Work to live Vonnie, not live to work! someone once told me, and it's good advice which I should of taken much earlier in life. Your health with stress levels and Exhaustion is a big influence on Af from my experience, your doing the right thing and totally get your decision , takes some courage to face up to especially in caring role like you have , but you need take care of yourself as well as others, enjoy life a little slower and hopefully a little fuller in the right ways .

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply to

Thank you I need to keep telling myself that Just have to cut back on things now but I will survive lol

in reply toVonnieruth

Just a little lifestyle change Vonnie, that's how to look at it, enjoy the stress reduction itl do you good

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo

Oh goodness Vonnieruth; how can you possibly think that you have let anyone down! Your health is THE most important thing that you have and you must look after yourself for once.

You can continue to make a difference by caring for your patients/residents with a hand on approach.

This is the beginning of a new phase of your life with a lot less stress.

Enjoy it x

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toBecksagogo

That's what I keep telling myself No more pressure of doing medication No more social workers No more careplans to write Though I love doing those

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo in reply toVonnieruth

I think you have done the right thing. I have a similar decision to make about going back to work next month. My Convalescence hasn't been as good as I had hoped. I am not sure I can cope with a full time job but I can't cope without the salary!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toBecksagogo

That is the same with me I will drop by about £400 a month now

Maura5 profile image
Maura5

Good luck Vonnie, I think you made the right decision for your health and peace of mind x

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toMaura5

Thank you Maura

opal11uk profile image
opal11uk

You have made the right decision my friend and yes, your health does come first hugggss

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toopal11uk

Thank you Opal I couldn't give up completely

opal11uk profile image
opal11uk

I think this is a good way to gauge how you feel Vonnie and more importantly how your A/F reacts, hopefully the lighter work load and stress will help and if you can get the balance just right then the future looks good. I was forced to give up altogether after my stroke, had I have taken your course of action then maybe that could have been avoided, who knows. Good luck, take it steady and try and leave your life as stress free as possible and with the extra time now from part time work you could take some time for yourself.

UkeMan profile image
UkeMan

Same with me. Treated change as an opportunity to do something else. Learned to play the Ukulele and joined a club - Happy Times, New friends, Rock and Roll!!!!!

Pam296 profile image
Pam296

So sorry, it must have been such a hard decision. However, it was the right one for you and you still have so much to give xx

Ianc2 profile image
Ianc2

no 12 hour shifts.. no night shifts.. settled sleep patterns and better eating patterns, you have lots to look forward to, with the possibility of doing some private care If the money monsters bite. Take care, get some gentle walks in, and enjoy a more balanced life

songbird74 profile image
songbird74

You are not letting us down - you are providing a role model of how we should all behave - recognising when we need to say no and find a new path - Good luck with it and thanks!

Pennie1958 profile image
Pennie1958

I know how you feel, I had to do the same and to be honest it wasn’t until I stopped that I realised just how much physical and mental stress my role as senior night carer was causing me. I had previously been a registered manager and stepped down from that due to stress. Like you I was prepared to go in as careplanner, then I developed sciatica having been off work for a month had a MRI scan only to find that my spine has degenerated. So now I’m out of care totally. I’m 60 this year and looking to train in something totally different. Some days I feel really old. However I know there is such a lot more that I want to do and want to make a better, fitter, heathy me... so I can eventually retire and enjoy it.

Good luck to you and break the habit of a lifetime and put yourself first xx

Lleaving because you are ready to is one thing. Living when you still want to work is another. You did the right thing. It’s just the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. I left work with some misgivings, but found another chapter that I might never of found had I continued working. Good luck!

Maril1 profile image
Maril1

To be honest the only thing that really matters is your health and that you can have a decent quality of life.Just recently went to a retirement do ,it was great to see all 'the lads ' (late 50s and 60s) again . Not one had any regrets , they all looked better and said it was the best thing they have ever done ,some said the only regret was they hadn't done it earlier, some even wondered how they managed to fit work in! After quite a few sherbets they started giving the 'workers ' some stick and all the old sayings came out 'no pockets in a shroud' 'no use being the richest man in the grave yard' 'you can't take it with you'there's more to life than just work' etc. Unfortunately where we work its 12 shifts and no part time .As our management say 'my way or the byway. Can't wait for the next one hopefully it's my turn!

Difficult decision. I've felt like a failure so many times dropping hours/responsibilities, no longer being the bread winner.

Even splitting my long days up to be 1 long day and 2 short days a week didn't help. Now I just about manage (before latest AF) two long days but with minimum 2 days between them.

Feel for you.

Dickydon profile image
Dickydon

Difficult choice. What work did you do? I’m a Sports TV Cameraman 57yrs old and had a Pacemaker fitted two months ago, I’m also a type 1 Diabetic. My work is physically and creatively demanding with enormous amount of travel involved humping around a lot of equipment in my van and I’m aiming to start back working in the next couple of weeks but I’m not sure either whether I can continue doing my work having been in TV for 30plus years. So I may have to do a few jobs in-order to make a decision to stop or carry on!

Good luck.

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toDickydon

I was a senior working in dementia

Dickydon profile image
Dickydon in reply toVonnieruth

Okay thanks. That’s a deemanding and challenging job too!

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toDickydon

It is but I love it Love my senior role to

Aprilbday profile image
Aprilbday

Leave the return- door opened Vonnieruth in case you start feeling more secure in the management of your AFib and medications . Things might just turn around and you may find yourself happily back on the top. I know you want that. Hope for it.

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toAprilbday

Thanks April

mariah222 profile image
mariah222

My heart goes out to you Vonnie.

Life can be hard I know but your health must come first.

You sound such a warm and grounded lady. Time to give yourself some of the wonderful care you have given to others.

Stay strong.

Maria. X

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply tomariah222

Thank you so much x

12cupcakes profile image
12cupcakes

You did not let us down. You made the best decision for you. Your health is the most important.

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo

Hello. How are you doing with your return to work? The time has come for me to make the same decision but mine will be whether or not to give up work completely.

I need further surgery but my Consultant won't entertain doing anything because I had so much in June and I won't cope with any more just yet.

I can't imagine not working and I am not strong enough to do voluntary work as I can't lift anything.

Vonnieruth profile image
Vonnieruth in reply toBecksagogo

Work is ok I am now classed as a float ( please don't think I'm a rescue float ) Not what I want but such is life Half the money but a small top up in working tax credit totals £140 every four weeks so it helps I still stand in to do medication like I will over weekend as we have one senior on hols and my position not covered yet .Yes I miss certain parts of my role as senior No I don't miss the other parts Have had mixed feelings about if I did the right thing but at least I'm still here to wonder I may not be if I kept doing twelve hours plus the stress and the demand a senior role has .You have to continue to tell yourself what you truly feel in your heart, body and head Don't let others decide for you My deputy manager was all over me asking are you sure it's what you want Why don't you go see home manager if you changed your mind etc She turned round and said the other day Well to be honest at 62 it will do you good to not have all the stress of the job and I know you can do the job but if you don't use it you loose it She soon changed her attitude

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