Not a good start to my day I'm afraid About four or five episodes of paplitations and hot flushing on getting up All because my daughter wants me to go Tesco shopping Not been for months I'm scared I will start with a episode while out and not having a car doesn't help as I would have to wait for taxis to bring me home Daughter will kick off big time now also
She will tell me I have let her down and I'm capable of doing this I lack the confidence to now though .I'm a failure !!
Sit down and take a few deep breaths. Tell your daughter to do a Tesco shop on line for the time being and then think of something nice you can do for you today.
Of course you’re not a failure. AF is scary and once you have come to terms with it you won’t be quite so bothered. We are going off to France in our Motorhome for a few months on Saturday. I have so many pills on board it is hard to find room for them but I’ll manage.
You’ll be ok.
Di
Wish I had your courage
You will have. You just have to get to grips with this wretched inconvenience and treat it is as just that, an inconvenience. If you feel up to going to Tesco later fine but not because your daughter says so. If you feel a wobble sit down quietly with a cup of decaf coffee and watch the world go by for half an hour. You’ll be fine. x
Anxiety goes with the territory for AF sufferers.
Whilst I can assure you that I totally understand how frightened you are, my best advice is to try and tell yourself it is not going to get the better of you and ruin your life.
Try taking a deep breath today and go shopping as if you are not going to have AF.
Pace yourself and do your best to not let it beat you.
Pete
Ps I’m nearly 75 and not going to let it ruin the rest of my life
Morning vonnie your not a failure!!!! Go shopping you can always go back and sit in the car 🚗 you will feel so much better for going don’t let this awful AF win !
Good morning Vonnie 
I find planning helps, ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen and plan for it .
How old is your daughter, find a taxi service and brief her with a number to ring if you need to get home. I find doing this kind of thing removes a lot of the anxiety.
I still drive but no further than a couple of miles from home these days , I don't go out if I feel ill and can get home quickly if I do by ringing a family member or taxi.
Don't be afraid to talk to your daughter and explain things.
I have told my son a bad episode of AF is like stepping onto a treadmill and being unable to get off, your heart is racing and doing acrobatics at the same time, you are breathless your legs become weak but still you must keep running even though your body is exhausted and this goes on for many hours.
He understands now how horrible AF can be.
You haven't let anyone down I am sure your daughter will understand if you explain. Even my 5 year old granddaughter understands.
Try to Build up your confidence by doing short walks close to where you live where you feel safe and build up your distances bit by bit over a period of time. Each trip out will make you more confident and will let you see you can eventually get back on track.
In the meantime order your big food shop on line or tell your daughter to do so or shop herself. Everybody who eats in your home has an equal responsibility to shop for it. Is your daughter perhaps trying some tougher love to help you move forward maybe.
Tough love My youngest and middle girl are use to a strong independent mum
Vonnie, when you are at home is your heart ok and how often do you have attacks? Do they totally disable you? Mine used to at one point in my life and that was a horrible feeling. I'm trying to understand why you are afraid to go out. Are you unable to do anything at all when you have AF? I really want to help you. If you lived nearby I'd come and take you out myself and build up your confidence.
Jean
I'm always bad in a morning Hot flushing palpitations and disorientated a little Some are worse than others I have anxiety also stemming from when I went off work with my arm originally in February.I just feel scared of what I experienced that weekend before I went to the hospital.My palpitations come and go through the day and are not that bad most of the time It's the flushing and the feeling I get My girls keep saying to get myself back on track I'm strong enough to cope.I don't do Ill or like medication So I'm totally out of comfort zone All I have done this morning is cry and get lectures Said with love I know
We’re not lecturing we’re trying to help. Unfortunately we don’t have a magic wand we can wave and make it go away. But believe me it will get better x
Didn't mean all of you here I meant at home Sorry
Oh bless you Vonnie, it's difficult for people who haven't experienced a bout of AF that makes you feel so dreadful to understand. Things will get better for you, but it's going to take a little time. Today is not how you're going to feel forever, please believe me. One day, very soon, you will feel a little better and that will be the time to move forward.
I went to do my volunteer job for the National Trust yesterday and when I walked into the staff room one of the ladies asked how I'd got on with an ECG this week. It established I'm in flutter I answered. Another lady in the room then replied, oh my heart often does that I just ignore it, never done anything about it. She's a big lady who walks with a stick. It makes me want to scream, but I bite my lip.
Jean
Thanks For comments I'm hoping I feel better once I get to see someone at hospital clinic I feel in limbo Don't even know what type I have
Jean - my teeth are gnashing for you!! The number of times I’ve had someone use the phrase dismissively ‘oh I’ve had that’ made me vow not to give any information which could trigger the comment.
Well chosen, polysyllabic Latin words perhaps? 😉
I had that recently, my friend said 'I had what you have but when I was put on statins it went away!' I don't think so.......👹
Oh it's like some are wonder woman and magically get better
Oh that made me laugh Buffafly. Silly person! Statins the cure eh! Now we know. Lol.
Can I place a order for a container full please
Will you get me some too 😄 I’
Try my best to lol
That friend is talking rubbish
Hi Vonnie
I can't add much to the excellent advice above, but just wanted to say that my daughter’s a bit the same and I’ve had to be assertive at times, especially in the early phase before I (sort of) accepted my condition.
We spend a day a week together since she went on maternity leave a year ago, usually go for a walk followed by a leisurely lunch. She'll be back at work soon so we want to make the most of it. She says I mustn't let AF take my life over and do you know what? She's right!
I do understand how anxious you feel, anxiety in itself is so very debilitating and in my experience, worse than the condition itself. I've mostly moved on from that now, and so will you dear Vonnie x
Hey, maybe we should get our daughters to read some of the posts on this forum!
You are NOT a failure, you're just the opposite.
Thinking of you x
Thanks Hilly.Guess I need to build my wall around me again This unwelcome visit has knocked it down enough x
Bless you Vonnie. Maybe you should do away with that wall altogether. It’s ok not to be strong you know. You’re a human being who’s feeling vulnerable so please put yourself first, at least until you feel better xx
Thanks Hilly Hope your hols is going good xx
Vonnie - I well remember how difficult it was to take my first ventures ‘out there’ and how fantastic I felt once I had done it. I remember walking around Lidl’s clutching my trolley and repeating to myself ‘you’re shopping alone and doing it’!!
It’s something that has to be done in your own time and at your pace - I don’t think anyone who doesn’t have this condition has a clue how we feel both physically and mentally. Since diagnosis I have become much more assertive with what I do and don’t do - perhaps even selfish.
Never measure yourself by others or what they expect of you. Chin up.
Thank you Finvola.Thinki have cried my head into a fuzz.Be glad when it's bedtime and hopefully my head will stop lurging
Hi Vonnie, when you say 'palpitations' that covers a lot of things. What do they feel like - just fast, or thumpy, or irregular, or odd thumps and bumps now and again? With the hot flushes it could be anxiety or it could be caused by something else which is affecting you. I can't remember offhand what tests you have had but it might be worth sitting down and listing any other symptoms you have. We often blame AF for everything whereas good doctors look for a cause of AF, for example I've had an aorta and kidney scan and chest x-ray as well as blood tests.
I know only too well how stressful it is waiting for results and answers but one day you may be like me, shoving a trolley around Morrison's with AF and not mentioning it because I wanted to finish my shopping 🙄
Biiiiig hug!
Thumps are pretty much the same rhythm sometimes they feel stronger Specially in a morning .Some times when in sat they are very faint I have had 24 hour monitoring and echo scan
For me worrying about my response to anxiety was more of a problem than the anxiety itself. I use headspace meditations which teach you how to accept anxiety and understand what's happening rather than disliking it or trying to push it away. I can now say "some things make me anxious" rather than " I am an anxious person" . If I feel poorly from it ( much more rare now) my daughter says "are you feeling ill or is it just you being you?" I'm trying to say that your feelings can change for the better but totally understand how horrid it is at present and it's a process not a magic wand job though I do think magnesium spray has helped me.
There are such a lot of variations with AF that although we can all empathise and give support to each other , it is important to remember that although some of us can walk slowly around the supermarket with an attack, others are paralysed with an attack and movement causes pulse to soar, in my case to 250+.
Wow I don't know if mine gets that bad when I have AF
It happens when I move, so I have learned not to move!!! I agree with so much advice you have been given here. Build up your confidence by going a short distance, just round the block at first, and have a back up plan ready, that in itself will give you confidence.
Mine started like that one weekend I was fine all Saturday morning then in the afternoon every time I stood up and went to kitchen I would get palpitations and become dizzy This continued on the Sunday to
What happened after that?
Doctor sent me to our local acute medicine ward on Monday when I requested home visit
The thought of doing anything makes me very anxious. I dread even picking up my grandchildren from school but I actually feel better for pushing myself and doing it. A quick spray of rescue and I just go for it even though I'm quaking inside. It has proved aso time goes by, had this nasty illness for about 5 years. Good luck 😊
Aw thanks Denise I'm a few months into this.Hopefully like all you lovely people have said I will deal with things better
It sounds odd but this site has allowed me to get on with life. I sat my children down and told them how badly this illness affects me and sometimes when I'm asked to do something I just say NO I'm just not up to it today. They understand now but I was always the strong single parent and I think it has been difficult to come to terms with this debilitating illness for all of us
Be kind to yourself 😊
And just remember that you are the mother and she is the daughter and what you choose to do is the right thing for you. Do you need some stronger drugs to help you get through this? Sometimes you have to try different combinations to get yourself working right again. Just remember you are special, brilliant, and gorgeous and if you don't fancy Tescos at the moment then don't go. Good luck.
Aw thank you I am seeing my own gp next week Haven't seen any one at the hospital clinic yet
NO you're not a failure in any way at all ! our bodies may let us down from time to time but we are not lifes failures we are lifes successes.
My wonky heart has really been behaving recently maybe because the pressure has eased due to getting a cardiologist appointment next month. I do know personally stress levels really can aggravate things though.
I do feel for you as sometimes it can be scary to go out and get on with life paranoid it will kick off an episode.
Thankfully your daughter doesn't know the misery we all suffer with these irregular heartbeats particularly to be taken seriously with it, if she did i'm sure she would think twice before judging.
Until you feel up to it maybe shop online and get it delivered, just a thought.
Sincerely hope you feel better soon x
Thank you Glad you have got your appointment through
You are not a failure. I feel the same. I always worry about going back into PAF so I fear lraving home. My daughter doesn’t understand why I am so nervous about life now. I just take baby steps. In acouple of weeks we are venturing a 2 hour drive from home. We do have a car so I told her if I don’t feel well I am going to lay down in the car. I am trying to follow Bob’s advice “ I have afib but it doesn’t have me”. It is hard sometimes. Hang in there. My thoughts are with you
When I was first diagnosed, I was frightened about leaving home for any reason, but it couldn’t last, I have a business to run, that involves meeting customers, two granddaughters that I teach for 4 mornings each week, a friend whose 9 year old son I collect from school, and look after till his Mum gets home from work, as well as a husband who is not particularly domesticated.
After a couple of weeks I tried to work out what worries me most, and decided that for me, the biggest fear was ending up back in hospital, with none of my own belongings! (Trivial - I know!!)
I now have a bag, permanently packed, which lives in my bedroom when at home, or in the back of the car when I am out, and just that small detail relaxes me more than anything else!
Try to identify what is giving you the most anxiety, and see if you can alleviate that, you might find it helps.
Anxiety is my biggest problem, all the attacks that send me to hospital can be traced back to anxieties!
Hope that whatever you decided to do, you were ok with.
Re vour comment that it starts in the morning when you stood up and got dizzy? How is your blood pressure?
I'm on bp tablets
I feel sympathy for you. I too take BP pills and the more I read around the effectiveness of various BP pills the more I am convinced, by various reports, that the only sure way to get BP down is to lose weight through a mixture of diet and exercise. the hard bit is doing it .
That's true Im use to eating about 9.30pm when home from work Plus I love my food lol
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