Yesterday

[Rubyladyemerald]

Well yesterday was pretty normal. I spent the day depressed. All I did was sleep. I would like to try to get out of the house today but it's going to be far too hot and humid. Today I wanted to sleep in but couldn't. I suppose I will try to get some sleep again. I really don't want to be awake.

[BobD Volunteer]

Ruby you need to discuss your problems with your doctor who I am sure will be able to help you. I do hope you start to feel more positive soon.

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to BobD]

I use to come here because I'm sure everyone has a bad day with all they go through. I'm in the us were they could careless about people like me who are sick. Hell they don't have anything but anit depression medication to put me on. Sadly I can't have any of it because it either interferes with my ability to function or it makes me sick. My mum thought I need a doctor when I was 22 because I am just able to talk about good and bad things.

This group has been very kind to me and I post nothing about wanting to be dead. I went back to sleep and I feel better other thank a nasty headache and I find your not so nice message Bob. To me, your telling to shut up because you don't want to see me post anything bad. Ok I won't post the good or the bad. I'm sorry I bothered everyone.

[CDreamer in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

Hi Ruby - I'm sorry you are not feeling good but I don't think Bob's answer to you was nasty.

We understand that you live in the US but there are other available resources other than meds. Can you see your own doctor?

This forum is for the support of people suffering for AF and there is a lot of kind and supportive people here but a forum like this is not the same as a blog space so I think you are straying a little off topic.

I wonder if the depression group would be more appropriate for you?

Sent with best wishes CD.

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to CDreamer]

I have AF. I'm paced at 70 but my heart is govrnered at90.so my depression is part of this. I can no longer do much of anything. And on my doctor's advice he told me to journal anyplace e just write about good and bad.o I've posted here, Facebook, Twitter, and I physically write In a journal that's all I am doing.

[Buffafly in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

Hi Ruby, I have a suggestion, start to play Farmville! Or another Facebook game. I started playing when I was disabled and depressed and it gave me something to look forward to and took my mind off my troubles, also I met some nice people who also had home troubles and illnesses and so I didn't feel so alone. Players depend on you to help and share so that keeps you going, it's a bit addictive I must admit.... It doesn't cost anything unless you want stuff that isn't free so no problem with that. I find people are much more sympathetic if they are sharing something enjoyable as well. Best wishes.

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to Buffafly]

I use to play games when I felt bad. But my husband doesn't allow me to play games anymore. I do his paperwork or clean house. And until I heal I'm not allowed to speak of doing anything.

[Buffafly in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

😢

[Clareowenpearcy in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

Ruby its all about you and your needs at this time. It needs to be what feels right for you and your healing. You have had a very rough go of it both physically and mentally. There are bound to be up days and down days and if playing games make those down days better and they are free and you enjoy them, then they are helping you heal and feel better mentally. That will go a long way to helping you physically too if you feel better within yourself.

You say,

"My husband doesn't allow me to play games anymore" this rings alarm bells for the me😤please take care.

[daisy0808 in reply to Clareowenpearcy]

My husband doesn't allow me to play games anymore" this rings alarm bells for the me😤please take care.

Agreed!

[Puddychops in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

Does your husband give a reason or was it because you were playing games all day and not doing the things he thought you should be doing.

My sister inlaw is terminally ill with lung, bone cancer and he still thinks she should be doing housework because he works all day🙄

It would be helpful to find a balance but your depression could be related to any number of drugs you might be taking as well

I found HRT a real depression maker but it lifted the minute I stopped taking it

You really should speak to a responsible Doctor and try to sort out your meds first of all

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to Puddychops]

No. He just a typical man blind to the housewife unless it's dinner or sex. Lol. I did what I could around the house then. He kept his house near as it was. But he also is a workaholic so anything other than work was a no no. It finally broke me from playing games.

[BobD Volunteer in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

My comment was from the position of great concern Ruby. I had no intention of wanting you to shut up at all. I hope that you find the help and support that you need is all. You have been so good up till a few days ago and I would not wish you to think I have anything but concern for your situation. At 3000 plus miles much else is not possible .If you would prefer it I will not respond to your messages in future.

[pottypete1]

Ruby

Be assured that Bob would never intend to tell you to shut up and go away either directly or indirectly. I know that Bob only ever has the best of intentions when he responds to a post.

I can also assure you that any 'regulars' who might respond to your posts will always measure their comments and will only comment with the best of intentions.

Our concern from across the Atlantic would be that whilst we are happy to be a shoulder to cry on, if someone is really finding it difficult to cope there is only so much that we can offer as we are not trained counsellors or medically trained.

For this reason there may be times when the advice is to seek professional help.

You are not alone, just remember that.

I hope you feel a lot better soon.

Pete

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to pottypete1]

Yesterday was a bad day. It hard to explain that here doctor's just want to drug you up for a bad day. I would much rather you guys just keep telling me chin up. It's so much better than the drugs.

Today I did get out. I went shopping with my husband. I'm going home and going to bed not because it's a bad day but because it was far too much commotion and confusion. Im physically exhausted. I told my husband that I would gladly go shopping early in the morning or late at night for now. But I got out into the fresh air and that makes me feel better. Now I need a nap. I just wasn't mentally ready or physically ready for that fiasco.

Hugs and love to all

[Finvola in reply to Rubyladyemerald]

Sometimes getting out and seeing something different can act like a tonic - even if it makes you tired. Well done for making the effort.

[Enjoy]

Just a little idea... get a small A4 white board and every night put one thing down on it that you want to do the next day. Initially it may only be something that takes 5 minutes but it will make you look forward. Gradually you can increase either the number of things you have written down, or make them of longer duration.

Clear the board each day when you have achieved what you have written down. That will be satisfying.

I have such sympathy with you as I have never been anxious or depressed and can't imagine how you feel. Just wanted to show all of us AFers try to support each other.

[daisy0808]

Ruby, what medications are you on for your Afib? Beta blockers can cause depression and fatigue for some people. I cannot tolerate them at. All I wanted to do was sleep or cry, thought I was loosing my mind and the fatigue was horrendous. Talk to your doctor and see if he can take a look, do not take no for an answer. Get a second opinion if need be. Good luck!

[Clareowenpearcy in reply to daisy0808]

Yes, good point! Beta Blockers caused me to become very depressed after only 9 days! I took myself off and within 24 hours I felt so much better.

[Paper65]

Ruby, my beta blocker makes me feel really low in mood. It's good that you are trying different ways of making things more positive and you obviously you find it helpful to write on here. I would echo that Bob was only making a suggestion to seek some professional help from the GP about your mood; you sound worryingly depressed and also some of your posts hint that you cannot do what you want to do at home or that you cannot be yourself sometimes.......I apologise if I have read that wrong.

How do you think that we can best support you? Would you like us to give advice or would it be more helpful for us to acknowledge your post and for you to know that there are people reading them?

it is worrying if you want to be asleep because it's too hard to be awake....are you talking to your doctor about how you feel, are you getting the right support from them?

I hope you are feeling brighter today