Making a joke to start the day .

[overmars]

Does anybody fancy reading a joke firat thing on here to lighten the day or telling one each day ?

Its sad sometimes life and heavy reading .

So I will kick off ..Why dos the house send for the Dr ?

Answer to come later

[Hidden]

Because it had a window pane 😃

[Morein in reply to Hidden]

Let's have some more! Best wishes Morein

[BobD Volunteer in reply to Morein]

Why did the bucket look ill... Because it was a little pail.

[overmars in reply to Morein]

Two therapists sit on a park bench . " Oh one says .Allsay lisrebubg to miserable stories .".

The other replies. " No problem .Who listens ? ."

[overmars in reply to Hidden]

Spot on .Well done

[Hidden]

When I was born my mother asked the doctor "Will she live?" He said "Only if you take your foot off her throat"

RIP US comedian Joan Rivers

[overmars in reply to Hidden]

Spot on

[Carol70]

Because Hugh Laurie was on a tea break!

[Hidden in reply to Carol70]

Haha....the penny just dropped, very slow for someone who loved Hugh Laurie in "House" !! I learned all my medical knowledge from that program

[Hidden]

Have you heard about the farmer in the field with his cows, he counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

[Hidden]

Or have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa

[Morein in reply to Hidden]

Well now - has anyone heard about the dyslexic piano student who played "Old Macdonald had a farm O I O I E." Hope everyone has a good day today.

[overmars in reply to Morein]

Lovely stuff

[Dancerandsharon in reply to Hidden]

My son has dyslexia and he thinks this is too funny. He is going to use this joke on a site he is on.

[overmars in reply to Dancerandsharon]

I am so happy I started something good

[Bob56]

I went to the doctor this morning.. I said I felt like a pair of curtains. He told me to pull myself together.

[overmars in reply to Bob56]

I like this. .here's one to try out today. If it takes Two men a day to dig a hole ..how long will it take three men to dig half a hole ?

If stuck please ask

[Hidden in reply to overmars]

A long time because if the builders are anything like the ones I know, they'll be drinking tea most of the day.

[philologus]

Q. What do you call a man with half a brain?

A. Gifted!

[souljacs4]

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone

Are you choking?

No I really did.

[souljacs4]

Doctor. you seem in excellent health your pulse is as regular as clockwork

Patient. that's because you've got your hand on my watch!

[overmars in reply to souljacs4]

Perfecto

[NooNoo14]

Great. Thanks everyone, made me chuckle.

[teach2learn]

Nothing quite like British humor. I love it! Keep it coming...and keep it dry (and clean-thanks).

[Rellim296]

Doctor, I keep on thinking that I'm shrinking.

I'm afraid you're going to have to be a little patient.

[overmars in reply to Rellim296]

I like this .

[Beancounter Volunteer]

Doctor: “I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol.”

Patient: “That’s OK. I will come back when you are sober.”

[Beancounter Volunteer]

A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn’t have to do anything himself. On the way home the husband asked with a note of concern “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it.”

[Kodaska]

Why don't cows climb trees?

Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

OK, that's as dumb as it gets.

************

I have a rather twisted view of things, as some of you may have already guessed. My sense is that a bit of humor can be tweaked out of just about everything that happens. My dad said that, coming from a long line of undertakers (truly) our family had a natural proclivity toward gallows humor. But I like how Horace Walpole put it:

"This world is a comedy to those that think,

A tragedy to those that feel."

And then this:

Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves, for we shall never cease to be amused.

[Elaine1951]

Love this site