On the 8th October my loving caring husband Tony died, my soulmate and best friend married for 52years, thankfully now not in pain.
Tony never wanted to go into hospital always wanted to be cared for at home and did with pain management from the Hospice Homecare team, and OT providing aids, until the last 24 hours transferred to our local hospice.
He developed a lung infection and was not responding to treatment.. It was not until the palliative team came and told him he needed more treatment that he could receive at home he realised he was dying, there was no more treatment that could beat this disease.
He was heavily sedated for the ambulance transfer and admitted to our local hospice in a single
on-suite room and we were provided with a family room if needed.
The caring staff gave him excellent end of life care and he died peacefully with me and our two daughters and son in-law by his side
I’m devastated can’t imagine my life without him, he fought a long hard 16 years to try to beat this cruel disease and the side effects from treatment and loss of dignity were as cruel as the disease
Tony wanted to live right to the end inspite of the pain and debility, as a friend said at his funeral Tony had a zest for life and saw humour in everything.
Never will be forgotten, your loving wife as always Jan
Written by
Janhpr
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So sorry to hear this. My family's condolences to yours. I hope eventually you can find some sunshine among the clouds and enjoy his memory. Thanks for caring for him. I'm sure it made all the difference.
Every so often we are reminded of how devastating this disease can be. We all hope to postpone the inevitable but we all know it lurks ahead of us. Heartful condolences!
I'm sorry to hear this sad news. It is still so raw and painful for you. Cancer can take over our lives - 16 years is a long time to live with illness.
I'm deeply sorry for the horrible pain that you are experiencing😪It sounds like there was and is so much love within your family. That love will help to get you through. I hope knowing the love he has for you, will always be with you and your love goes with him. Heartbreak 💔 causes s0o much pain.
my deepest and heartfelt condolences for the loss of your dear husband. Tony was lucky to have such a loving caring wife at his side as he passed. I know he felt your strong love for him. All of us can only hope to be so lucky when it’s our time come. Im sending out a big warm hug to you and I hope your grief and disappointment pass soon. 52 years of great memories you can treasure.
So very sorry to hear this sad news, as a fellow Brit wife having followed your journey. You really did fight so hard for the best treatment and care all along the way. I am thankful for you that the end was peaceful. You will always carry with you the love you shared. I wish you well and thank you for sharing your experience with us.
If you and Tony have faith, this is not the end for you both. For Tony it will just be the blink of an eye.
We can also achieve immortality through our children. Some of the essence of Tony will also exist and go forward through time in his daughters and their descendants.
Matter cannot be destroyed it can only be changed.
Unfortunately, it is the living that have to endure the pain of loss. I hope and trust that the many memories of a loving partner, and the support of your children will help to ease the pain a little.
My sincere condolences, though he was also fortunate, like me, to have an amazing wife to help him fight this disease. I am in Year 10 of my battle, so I would feel blessed to have 16 years like Tony. May he rest in peace.
Seeing the joy in life amidst the sorrow, seeing the will to live although the battle, feeling the love of others instead of the hate of despair, perhaps he was a winner for he recognized his greater purpose that lies within us all. You were blessed and I'm sorry for your loss and so happy for the life you were honored to live together
deeply saddened however the caring love you given to show everlasting caregiving it is the ultimate happiness you can transfer through you have shared throughout May your path at your time be an opportunity of love shared …
Sincere condolences Janhpr. From your post it is clear you and your husband battled the beast together and sure it was comforting to him you and family were with him in the final days/hours.
My heart goes out to you as my family just experienced the same when my father passed last August of 2023.
My parents were together for 71 years. My dad fought hard, loved life, was an amazing and adventurous man...and he will never really be "gone" from our lives.
He died peacefully with us by his side after 24 hours in hospice in their home.
My mother has been remarkable. It took the first year for us all to rally around her and spend a LOT of time with her...
we talked about how dad died peacefully, and how he was optimistic til the end...then it was time - as he would never want to live in a home, or debilitated.
We remember him as strong and passionate about life...I PRAY that you remember the good times with your husband, and that your family stays close.
I am so sorry for your loss, and the loss of such a great man. Everybody on this site fights together and losing one hurts everyone. Prayers are with you during this time.
I'm so very sorry for your loss, Jan. This disease is indeed a cruel beast, as is much that goes with it. Please take some comfort that you were able to meet Tony's wishes to be at home as long as possible, and that you fought beside him right til the end - those are two very special gifts to give the one you love and they mean everything! Sending you big HUGS and love as you begin to navigate a chapter in your life without your incredible warrior beside you. It is never easy, but it will get easier.
Dear Jan, It's another sad day when we hear about one of our members passing. Your dear husband Tony left you and his two daughters with his love and his admiration. May he rest in peace knowing that you all were in his heart. Keep the fire alive in your heart and the memory of Tony forever and ever.
Sending my deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. I pray that you and your family are receiving all the love and support that you need through this trying time.
As the late Queen Elizabeth said : " Grief is the pain you pay for love " . Sounds like a great loving husband . I'm 85 - My father said " Make lots of memories when you are young "
" When your old - Thats all you've got "
You have 52 years of great memories . Sorry for your loss . Ex. Northern Ireland 61 years ago .
I am so sorry for your loss. You are experiencing the thing I most fear and likely will face. Glad to know your dear husband did not have a long period of suffering.
This community is saddened to hear about Tony's passing. The love and care you shared with him throughout his battle are truly inspiring. Your strength and dedication in ensuring he received the best possible end-of-life care are a testament to the deep bond you shared.
Tony's zest for life and his ability to find humor even in difficult times will always be remembered by those who knew him. His courage and resilience over the past 16 years have left a lasting legacy.
May you find comfort in the cherished memories of your time together and in the support of those who care about you.
When a loved one passes we remember and celebrate the life they lived, the love they shared, the difference they made in our lives.
You will have so many memories from your long marriage with Tony. I know they won’t make the pain go away, but they are likely to bring some moments of comfort and sometimes joy as you remember the very special ones. Sometimes in remembering the little things about Tony that were a constant in your life together you may find yourself with a little smile and glow. That has been my experience after losing my spouse in 2021.
Best luck to you in navigating the sorrowful times.
I’m so very sorry!!! My Joe and I have been on this journey for 15 years……and I can’t imagine life without him, either!! My heart is so sad for you!!!!
I tried writing things but kept erasing them. I don’t know just what to say to make you feel better. I don’t know you both but i hope you stay active while you adjust
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