Meeting with my oncologist for the first time I was told that this cancer would kill me it had gone deeply into my bones and there was no cure, my care is now considered palliative ,my life now would be measured in months..... so now18 months later I think of each of these months as a march to the end. I know this all seams dreary ,but you can have a lot of life in month and I think most people do not realize this .So today I am off to my boat ,in few days I will be singing in a Requiem and Gloria. and then....
wondering how life will end - Advanced Prostate...
wondering how life will end
Written by
yardsailor
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132 Replies
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Hopefully you will have many more boat trips over the next few years. I am no expert, but from reading on this site the common response on hearing doctors/oncs putting a time on a patients end of life is to dismiss it! In any event your positive attitude and determination to enjoy your life is half the battle, keep it up. Best Wishes.
love your attitude! I thought Lutetium-177 sorted out bone metastases…
PCa DX made me rethink my life, I now try to get the most out of every day, as you say " you can have a lot of life in month". I have plan A which is to use my intelligence and body to do what I can to keep PCa at bay, Plan B is to have as much fun every week so that if plan A does not work out or I get hit by the proverbial Bus I will die a Happy and Satisfied Man. While I totally believe that I can make plan A work, as a trader I know the value of hedging my bets.
Others on here have lived for many years with a DX worse than yours. There is a Medication specifically that deals with bone mets, perhaps others with this experience can offer you ideas.
To get the most out of this resource, I think it would be helpful to you, to fill out your profile so guys with similar experience can share their experiences and make suggestions. This is a hivemind of information.
yes absolutely … and “ you “ would know 😁😁😁
Based upon the evening out with that attractive woman, I'd say your plan is the best I've seen yet. What a way to fight cancer! I think even hardened docs would endorse that!
Thanks for the Kind words, Loving and being loved is strong medicine.
this is the right place for you brother. We , mostly all …are croakers here . All of us have the same thoughts you are experiencing , now and then. Scout4answers’ post, puts it really well.
Of course all of us are also palliative or hospice as well , but doctors can only give you an “ educated “ guess on when you “ might / will croak . It’s only a guess. When I was DXed , a table full of grim looking doctors told me and my wife I should enter inpatient hospice, the end was close at hand. At that point I had never received a treatment of any kind. I opted , instead, for a try at ADT . Well it’s going on 55 months later and I’m still here sucking in air and feeling sunshine. I’m not saying my life isn’t a little rough around the edges a lot of the time ( A tongue in cheek gross understatement ) but , still I strongly want to live and I am accomplishing that. Like so many here, you could be hanging on for years … it’s gonna depend upon the aggressiveness of your species of cancer, and how well you respond to your treatments. From what you have said, it sounds like you are doing well. I believe “ attitude “ counts for a lot and sounds like you have a good positive grip on things.
Have fun with your boat QOL fun, take some pictures and post them here on the group to encourage others, preface your post with QOL so everyone will know it’s a lifestyle , camaraderie , socially oriented post.
❤️❤️❤️
I agree with K. After my first round of scans, my Drs told me that I could expect to live 18 months, and that 24 mos would be a stretch. At the time I was a month away from my 65th birthday, and that estimate rocked my boat. But, after a couple of days to absorb the news, I decided that if I only had 18 months left, then I still had 17 months and 20 some days to LIVE. And I did.
Now, 31 months later, I struggle with all of the same health changes that we all do. I've had some rough bouts with SE's, and I stuggle to keep my physical strength up, but I have had a damn good 31 months! I may not be in Doc Kam's league, but I expect many more good days before I pull the plug.
Enjoy your sailing, and sing like its your final performance - each time you sing.
amen buddy … screw these damn Mets and the corpuscles they rode in here on. Yayahahahaya.
😂😂😂
screw them damn Yankees as well😉
Mahalo for setting me up for a song😂
Whatever PCa wants PCa gets
you made me laugh what pc wants pc gets I think i have all ready sold my soul
LoL, my weird lyrical brain does crazy things and sometimes they're really funny
PC is NOT getting my husband!!!
Me neither, F that! I'm comin up on 9 years with #stageivpca this October youtu.be/ZEWkZb11pss
Go Randy go! You can outrun any damn cancer.
I hope so....😁
wchh.onlinelibrary.wiley.co...
nature.com/articles/s41391-...
mskcc.org/news/how-can-exer...
newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/...
2023 Conqueror Challenge of 552.2 miles
I didn't know that Ztlf was a synonym for Lola
You're no exception to the rule
I'm irresistible, you fool
Give in (give in you'll never win)
Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets
ya….. I’m with you doooooooode … yayahahaha. 😂😂😂
Then good be good boy...
Damn, I could have used a Lola
ya , the hammer is the sports freak in our family . I’m watching S.F baseball with her right now. I pretty much sleep or peruse the media channels on my iPad. Yayahahahaya. I like football better but I’m just a nerd that’d rather be doing FFT Fourier transforms …waterfall displays of infrasonic data trapped by the infrasound microphone array placed under my house. ….. or in other words ima a techno nerd more than a jock. Just say’in. Yayahahahaya yayahahahaya
Picture of my earth sciences lab before I got sick
more of my lab
More earth sciences lab view
Good Lord. What's on the slab?
mwwwwwwaaaha. …. It’s where I recharge the hammers electrodes. Just say’in.😂😂😂
Another laugh out loud. Must be why the neighborhood lights dim every once in a while.
her batteries are getting old nowadays, I have to ZAP her more often now. Keeps her “ glowing personality “ all a glow. She runs more on “ chemicals “ these days … chemicals that come in pints, half pints and fifths. She does upgrade to the 750 ml size … tryna keep it modern.
So come up to the lab and see what's on the slab.
OMG Fourier and La Place Transforms. That's a blast from my past. Certainly got my attention!
It's so sad that 99% of the world population doesn't appreciate the genius of these things.
Something I used to quote in my younger student years - inspired by the late genius Ian Dury : 'There Ain’t Half Been Some Clever B*ds'
😀
F'n real geniuses.
Totally steals the show from those of who read about Buckminster Fuller in the Whole Earth Catalogue and thought we were something
well …. It’s not like there’d be a difference buddy … even today , I keep my whole earth catalog right here, beside me, at the ready and reference it frequently. There is enormous knowledge in there , still strongly relevant even all these years later . Everyone needs one of these.
Just say’in 😁😁😁
Whole earth catalog
Got that one, and I will raise you the "Last Whole Earth", the "Next Whole Earth", and a stack of Mother Earth News from the 70's.
If the ante raises, I still have my original "The Medium is the Massage", and "The Silent Spring", "Ecotopia", a deteriotaed VHS copy of "Sometimes a Great Notion", and my black armband worn from Kent State until 1976 - when my dream started dying
yayahahahaya yayahahahaya. I defer and bow to the master …I do have a few kewl 60s , family dog , concert posters tho. Good stuff, lots of great memories.
😂😂😂
I'd have more memories, but that damn kool-aid has screwed with my memory. Have to head to nitey-nite now
yayahahahaya omg … the twist is that i know exactly what you mean. An embarrassing pair of scruffy old hippies. Sweet dreams 💤
Moosewood Cookbook
I had to look her up …. Dunno how she slipped by me. Might be the “ enchanted, broccoli forest “ thing …. Yayahahaha. Sounds like one of the / our hippie crew tho .
🐌 wharze that broccoli forest
Didn't get the reference. My bad. Did you use her vegetarian recipes? If so, any recommendations?
In the early 70's my wife experimented with all kinds of baking. Somewhere she found a recipe for an everything bread with whole wheat, nuts, grains, raisins etc. For a couple of years it was our favorite, a slice would take the place of a meal, then we moved and lost the recipe card.
See, this site just keeps teaching and teaching
in the vein of our hippie tinged - themed mentions, the 70s Moosewood Cookbook would fit right in … wouldn’t be surprised if Mollie Katzen was mentioned in the whole earth catalog or something. Either way, for a long time I had an aversion to broccoli ( love it now tho ) and her other cookbook “ enchanted, broccoli garden “ probably drove me off yayayyayaya. How I missed her.
I had nut bread for breakfast this morning ….. seems like bread has changed over the years and tastes awful now. Baloney, Cokecola , French fries, bread …fried chicken ( I loved lard , just say’in) just about everything is non gmo , no msg or whatever different and not for the best … flavor wise.
All joking aside, this site really does keep teaching and teaching. Information and life lessons….not available anywhere else are plentiful here. A lot of it a bit sad perhaps , but nevertheless.
1) Life Lesson
- LIVE
best place to start 😂😂😂
I also have the "Epilogue" and all the Shelter books as well
I wore my copy out, Geodesic Domes, solar panels, Bucky Balls
no kidding … lots of stuff in those was damn interesting and worth reading frequently. Even today, when I look thru one of those I kinda long for that kinda utopian world we all wanted things to be. It’s easy to forget over time , but those pages really describe the heart of a whole movement. It was never going to be the real world but all of us thought it could be.
❤️❤️❤️
I was the first , decades ago, to use FFT to represent ( ordinarily indecipherable ) infrasonic waves that echo around the world multiple hops and I developed new era differential infrasonic pressure transducer technology that was used ( with my permission ) by the University of Arizona and for elephant communication doctoral research projects. My differential transducer / tuned port technology was even eventually used by the Federal government in their nationwide traveling infrasound project. I have several ( rather old ) YouTube videos on the subject and my inventions.
Gurgle..
I got rid of my home labs when I got sick and now have replaced the ultra nurd equipment for a fun outdoors hobby that most any of us aPCa guys can do. Less fun than yardsailer’s boat but a low physical demand fun outdoors hobby , “ drones “ and FPV ( first person view like you’re sitting in them riding them like an airplane drones ) . I passed my FAA UAV ( unmanned aerial vehicle ) test on the web and became a licensed drone pilot after I got sick.
Guys like us can sit at a park table or folding lounge chair and experience exciting drone FPV flying , even when sick with ADT issues.
If you haven’t tried it, you should …. Most people are stunned and or amazed when they do.
This picture is my Aerodrome hanger / drone shop … used to be where the earth science labs were.
Aerodrome drone electronics shop
Good to know that you are there to defend us when the AI attacks start
“The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it for the first time with a sense of hope.”
Hey! I'll be the Judge of that! (sorry, I know it's terrible)
Now, I feel like a Compleat Idiot about VW's too
I would really see my doctor scratch her head and say what the hell are you doing. you should be gone now!
In your shoes, I'd blame the cancer...
Keep sticking around, Kaliber. It is very interesting to see how things are turning out around every corner and every day. Sending you love. Paul
What is your PSA now and what therapies have you done?
yes psa is now .014 I have been on degarelix but now luprolide and in the end of this month I will get a luprolide shot that will last 3 months .I all so daily take 1000 mgs of abiraterone with prednisone, every 6,months I get a denosumab injection. Thinking of going back on degarelix when I get back from my sailing trip.I can go on and on but I will keep it short,Along those prescirptions I also take several vitamins herbal supplements as well as cbd and thc oil that I insert rectally at bedtime
So that is a great response! And you are still hormone sensitive. What makes you think your life is "measured in months."?
my bone scan is my big worry, presenting at dx as a suspected super scan
You are responding ideally to therapy. My friend, who had a super scan, is going on 2 years of response to Zytiga. Your imagination is not your friend. Try to focus on the present, in which you are doing just fine.
thank you I think I will climb out this hole I dug for myself
This is something think about a lot for some reason. I'll see a squirrel or a bird and think, I wonder if it will outlive me. I'll also look about in a park and think that all this will still be here when I've gone. I don't consider any of it dreary, just the realization of your mortality.
Imagine you're on your deathbed and you know its your last day. God (whichever one of them you believe in depending on where you were born 😇) looks at you and says, because you've been good, He'll grant you another day - but just one. Imagine what you're going to do in that day. I guarantee you won't sleep in, lie there feeling sorry for yourself, not even waste one micro second of that borrowed time. You'll not waste your time being angry, argumentative or bitter about anything. I actually believe you'll feel blessed to have been granted this gift.
You need to live each of your remaining days just like that.
I do know one thing for certain though - it ain't over until its over. Just because some statistic read by your doctor becomes your sword of Damocles, doesn't mean you can't be an outlier. They DO exist.
Some horses have hair that is thicker and stronger than the others!
truly I intend to keep ticking off the months as long as I can . It is so much better taking life a month at a time I will let those years sneak up on me
soooooo …whadda you think. Have we entertained and distracted you from the “ dreary “ junk enough to lighten things up a little for you ??? You are a brother here among strong friends that understand your aPCa issues the best.
❤️❤️❤️
I have all ways wanted to be the melancholy Dane but then a smile gives me away. arrrrr
I wondered when you would confess. We've got you now you sick bastard
I’m definitely sick and no doubt a bastard ( proudly mind you ) as well. You’ve nailed it.
Love ya buddy
❤️❤️❤️
The doctor's have no idea on length of life, get an second opinion and get whatever treatment there is, heading on six years. Have done the treatments, 2 rounds of chemo, doing another doxetol that I did 5 years ago, if this does not bring down the PSA and shrink tge livet Mets then there is another y90 treatment. The PSA is going down so buys me more time, I know in the end the prostate cancer will get me but live life for today and maybe 6 months. Live long enough for plivucto when the supply is better and get a second opinion.
Tell your Onc to F off ! Look at what you're achieving already, that sort of statement could be enough to kill someone.
Always stay positive and seize the day, as Kaliber has said " you've come to right place " look at what he's achieved 👏.
I wish you all the best.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today...
I said, "That's the last thing I need."
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Thursday 06/08/2023 3:35 PM PST
not to be morose but I built mine have it up over the shop .I hope to be around a long time before I get to see if she floats
I think my wife is making one for me 😀
Sail on . . .
love your attitude! You are my inspiration!
I was told the same thing 6 years ago. Staying on my meds, enjoying life. They shake their heads when I show up for appointments. Oh, splitting wood again Bob? Yes I bruise easily but I'm determined to live my life as I want.
This is the best thread ever published on this website....need to can it and share with ALL. So uplifting! Loved all the music and comedy. You guys are the best! I am so encouraged at your living life despite all that this cancer has set upon you. My husband with whom I sailed for five years...including an Atlantic crossing, 2 1/2 yrs in the Mediterranean, etc., succumbed to this disease and is already with Him; though my husband doesn't miss me where he is, he awaits my arrival. My Lord & Savior has promised me an unimaginable eternity with Him that makes this existence pale. The best is yet to come. God Bless and keep you all!
one day at a time and live well my fellow warrior! Each day can be a gift and a brand new adventure.
I would beg you to read the book o John in the Bible and ask God to help you understand what you’re reading. We all have limited time on this earth and will face eternity one day. My prayer for you is that you would ask God to forgive you of your sins, believe in the death burial and resurrection of Jesus for your sins and ask Him to save you.
I would like to wish you a big old grateful good morning!!
First of all , all I can say is only the man upstairs knows when you are leaving this earth.I was diagnosed at 68 yrs old stage 4 ,no cure and the prognosis was 3 years and I had 3 Mets in the pelvis . I just celebrated my 75th birthday with 4 days of golf and a trip to the French quarters in New Orleans..Sorry to say a couldn’t keep up with my family on the Partying end but sure had a great time.
Don’t think about tomorrows, enjoy today.Maybe the doctors were wrong??? You could possibly have many tomorrows 🙏🙏only the man upstairs knows.
As for you enjoying your boat today,go for it . I sold mine when I was first diagnosed with stage 4 PC thinking I wouldn’t be able to keep up the maintenance involved in boating. What a big MISTAKE 😂😂😂😂
Hang in there brother, it’s not over till it’s over 🙏🙏👍🇺🇸👌🥃🍷⚓️
F the MO that gave you a time limit. I had one jerk that said 12-24 months. 41 months later, I'm buying a new home and doing renovation. Doctors are not G-d. They are just like us with some, very few, that really care. I plan to go to the funeral of the MO that gave me the time limit. I'm one determined to beat this beast and thrive. Oh, by the way I'm taking a trip to southern France and Italy. Find a great team, I did, and keep on truckin.
Both places where you can get excellent food and wine. Love them both. 2 out of 3 of the best cuisines in the world. There’s only Japan that can compete with those 2.
There’s a place in Italy called Alba. They do a white truffle festival every year around October. If you can get there, it’s well recommended. If not there’s all the vineyards you can go to.
Borollo - my favorite. Lots of it there!
one day at a time, friend.On
my experience has been the complete opposite. I too was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer metastasized in my bones I was also given 6 months to a year or maybe 2 with luck. Here I am 9 years later still fighting the beast!!. So my advice is to stay positive and check on your treatment. Maybe they could go in a different direction . Good luck
Amen, brother. It is surreal in some senses but very real as we all face the end. Be strong. Grace and dignity are your best allies. I hope you are received with kindness and love by those who are close to you.
I am of similar age and circumstances. My prognosis was 13 months. I am having the time of my life focusing on family and grand children.
You will be in my prayers.
I am to blessed love is all around me
...not easy, but you are walking the path each of us may quickly follow. I dont know if you saw the film My Life with Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman...it spoke to me and it had the message that, with cancer, each moment, minute and memory is precious. If you have not seen it watch it...spoiler alert, Michael Keaton who has brain cancer does succumb in the end, but its HOW he goes about squeezing out every precious moment he has left that makes the movie worth the effort. Its a tribute to all cancer patients, who like you, are dealing with Time in a way none of us ever thought possible, or necessary...enjoy each and every day that you have, Brother...let us know how they spin out...Rick
I saw that movie last night a real tear jerker thanks
Welcome! You are in the right place here!
I posted before to remember that “M.D.”does NOT stand for “Medical Diety”!
Expect a call from the AMA Attorneys
ha hah hah hah
At my DX the doc said three years. I was down for a while but as my PSA dropped, I felt better. Five years on I am still here and feeling ok. Not great, but good.
I sailed at sunset in the great blue sea,
And could not but wonder how long I will be,,
'Til I saw all the stars in the dark clear sky,
Then it no longer mattered, when I will die.
dam you made my day that is exactly it. We are here now
Yes I was told two years ago my next epileptic seizure would be my last, irreparable brain damage, last year went for a biopsy for Prostate cancer, had the radiotherapy and hormone injections, doubts about me even having PC began to surface, then found the hormone injections had reacted so badly with my osteoporosis, collapsed chest, my local health centre informed me "there is nothing more we can do for you!" They are just doing regular blood tests about every six weeks in the health centre, and embarrassed red faces in the Prostate Cancer hospital! Have not been given a specific time, but now hopefully I can get out and enjoy the rest of my time, have sorted out will, beliefs, cremation, always wanted to travel, no use sitting inside morbidly counting the days, not much on tv anyway these days! My trouble is I can be tremendously blunt, not very subtle about my general condition, a lot of 😱 going around when I spin off my medical conditions🤬my straightforward acceptance of what is going to happen! My general cheery attitude most people think "he's got a screw loose?" I'm now fully retired now, and can hopefully enjoy what ever time I have? I always find a bit of dark humour helps to lift the spirits! Enjoy your journey yardsailor?👍
Sounds like a hell of a journey, and an admirable attitude. This tee-shirt may just what the doctor ordered
Tee Shirt
Got to be a big enough size to hide the top of my incontinence pads, and loose enough to hide the rough set up of my collapsed chest🥴🙄🤔🤭🤭
One word, Gynecomastia. Makes me look like a weight lifter with my shirt on!!!
One way of getting a weight off my chest!!🥴🙃🤭🤭
How did we get onto the topic of sports bras?
Well, as long as you brought it up, I prefer one that not only lifts, but separates.
I wonder if anyone can find a man's sports bra that has muscles screen printed on it?
Even better idea! What about briefs with a large Male package printed on the outside, and a pocket to allow us to add a codpiece, or in a pinch, incontinence pads?
Does anyone know how to get onto Shark Tank? I smell blood in the water.
rotflol 😂😂😂😂
I have severe pigeon chest/osteoporosis can't walk around bare chested " for f###'s sake put your shirt back on!"🥴🙄 that sort of thing?
Incontinence pads, left over from my PC experience, saves on y-fronts?😵🙄
"Kick Ass2" shark tank experience?
Here's the tee for you. You f'n hunk of man candy
muscle shirt
Subtle as a fart in a space suit?🥴🤭
I have nice pecks as well
hummmmmm … “ I’m not rude ….. I just have the loose skin to ….. “ well , you know. Yayahahaha.
Mine would have to say "I used to have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking."
😃🦊
You beat me to the punch. I was going to say "I'm Rude. Even though I don't have any balls."
"I'm Rude. I only have the microballs to say..."
You are right. Now we can play pickle ball.
Team Gherkins!!!
Our motto:
Rule #32 -- Enjoy The Little Things
(Obscure Zombieland reference)
Or maybe, "I'm not rude, I'm a big baller emeritus, and I..."
In 2014 I was diagnosed stage 4 with extensive bone mets. The best oncologist I could find explained that I could plan on "5 years, 10 at the outside and definitely probably not 15." So unless I suddenly drop dead before next year, I'll surpass the 10 year mark.
The oncologist (best I could find, remember) also pointed out that all those numbers were based on studies done more than 5 years previous. He explained that due to the distance from the studies the numbers probably should be adjusted upwards.
So now I am going to ask my current MO, in July, to try and put a number on things so I can try and plan ahead so I can go sailing and maybe back to Europe and, who knows?
And I know what I'll do if things get bad.
Live, plan, live some more until you can't live anymore. It's all anyone can do!
there is a ship we each board and set sail to some end. we all must disembark at some point mostly without notice. we have a known ailment that we get the opportunity to treat and what time we get with it we get to plan and act on and in that is a great blessing. I hear you brother so let us all be about living what life we have to the fullest.
Yo, man!
Well said!
you might try an antidepressant 
lol 😂😂😂. Something to keep in mind if you get to that point.
Extensive and innumerable bone mets. Gave me 1 and a half to 2 and a half years. Almost 6 and a half years now. 0.2 psa. Lupron and chemo and Xtandi and Xgeva (no longer). This all reminds me of the Interlopers by Saki. I remember being somewhat depressed the first year. Just put a deposit down for a 7 day Mexican cruise Dec. 2024. Will I be sailing? Rolling the dice.
WOW Brother, yea take that Cruise and Celebrate.
You sure showed them that you're not just a stat!!
Sail on youtu.be/71Vdo-ahbqE
Fight on
Randy
arhhhh!
With your positivity you will live on...
Your post led to a lot of fun and healing. Thanks
had the same diagnosis in 2014. Here I am in 2023 still fighting the good fight. Either your ONC is a dud or you are giving up too easily. Sure there is no cure . We all know that. It’s how long you can live with the cancer . That’s the great battle we are fighting!! Delve deeper with your ONC on the various treatments.
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