Devastated with the news

[Madbeach]

My hubby was admitted to the hospital last week because his radiation cystitis was created huge blood clots that were preventing him from urinating. He had been using the straight catheter until he started bleeding again. After arriving at the ER (since it was after hours); they admitted him because they felt he looked unwell and wanted to run some tests. They ended up performing another CT Scan which appeared to have shown metastasis in his liver and lungs. We have another appt Tuesday with our oncologist to see if he with the scan CD and report. We are shocked. His prior CT scans and Pet and Bone scan all performed in May 2021 just showed the bone Mets in the left iliac. He has had 13 HBO treatments this month and are wondering if the treatments caused the cancer to spread because the doctor that consulted us at the HBO site told us that some studies have shown to cause/spread cancer . Yes, he honestly said that. If this is the case, can you imagine the guilt I feel because I convinced my hubby to do the HBO treatments.

I’ve been so upset and dread the appt. Tuesday. This is so hard. I don’t want to watch this disease slowly torture my hubby. I’d rather he drop over from a heart attack. He is still so full of life, not physically but mentally. His 77th birthday is this Friday.

[Lyubov]

Oh, my heart goes out to you both. My understanding was that there were differing opinions by doctors regarding HBO treatment for radiation cystitis when guy has possible metastasis/recurrence. So, don't blame yourself or feel guilty at all. This is a horrendous disease. Bless you both!

[Dachshundlove]

Dear Madbeach

We tend to think that we have more control over what happens in life than we actually do. We make healthcare decisions which we believe will prolong the lives of people we love. Random Chance winds up deciding outcomes of choices—it’s not the other way around.

ANY treatment, clinically proven, or NOT, will work for some and not for others. It’s a baffling aspect of medical practice.

This is an awful disease and the lucky unlucky ones afflicted, respond better and longer to treatment due to favorable genetic factors.

If we had power over this devastating disease this forum would not exist. Wisdom and peace to you.

[Hailwood]

We feel that actions we do are the sole reason for the results, when in fact if we do anything for the right reasons, we are never wrong, we are just unable to tell the future. You are doing the best you can for your hubby, and the HBO was done for the very best of reasons. This is a horrible disease and your unwavering support is what is getting him through all this.

[j-o-h-n]

DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT think your input had anything to do with his current position, if indeed it's true. We all try for the best, especially you since his upcoming 77th birthday is this Friday, October 8, 2021. Buy the best strawberry cheese cake you can find for Friday and remember to save me a piece and freeze two portions for you two to share on October 8, 2022. God Bless..... And Happy Birthday Madbeach!!!

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Sunday 10/03/2021 2:53 PM DST

[Madbeach in reply to j-o-h-n]

Thank you John for your sweet reply. I’ll never stop blaming myself. I just can’t. However, we do love strawberry cheesecake and I’ll take your advice and buy one for his birthday. 🎂

[Spyder54]

Awwwwww, so sorry. Listen, you cannot take any blame here. This disease is relentless. You would think, like most viruses it does not want to kill its host as that creates its own demise. Somehow PCa just presses forward dividing and multiplying. You make the best decisions you can, and put it in the hands of the Medical Experts. Your husband knows you are there for him. At least he can be sedated in a hospital setting and made more comfortable

All our best to you and yours,

Mike

[33Ford]

Like others have posted, it is all probabilities! It is hard!!, but you just have to do the best you can. What works for one person may make things worse for another. Hang in there, sounds like you provide loving support, what more could any of us ask for?

[Wings-of-Eagles]

Just saying ...don't jump to the Emergency Doctor or Technician's analysis on the mets. Seems like to me a Layman that the CT scan just 4 months prior would have detected actual additional mets. Just listen to a more qualified Oncologist interpretation of the scan. One of my 6 suspected mets turned out to be old bone "bruise" from a prior injury. Hoping for the best for your Hubby. No further mets have developed for me in the past 9 years. Hang in there , keep the faith.Wings

[greatjohn]

When I made the trip to Omaha after I got enrolled in a LU177 trial, I thought I’d hit the jackpot. How wrong I was. After just one treatment and near death with exhaustion fatigue and my heart hurting. My hemoglobin my platelets and all my blood count had been destroyed. Had I not made the trip to Omaha, had I not been excepted into the trial, I would have assumed that this trial would’ve save my life. Would’ve given me a long term remission like it does for so many. Alas what we think is going to happen, what we think has happened and what will happen are all a part of our destiny. To know the future Is not something most of us have the ability to do. You did what seemed right. No one can be blamed for following the path you follow. I am wishing all the best for you and your husband. Read some of my post if you’re not familiar with them and see what doing “the right thing” can do to you. I now have Hospice on speed dial in my phone. When I went to Omaha I was a wild and crazy guy. Still kind of a wild and crazy guy. LOL. Life is beautiful NOW. Just remember we don’t really have control of our destinies. We have control of how we react to it.

gJohn

[Wings-of-Eagles in reply to greatjohn]

Great Reply Great John, all the best to you, keep the faith!