I remember having this convo a while ago with my father. He basically stated he’s not sure if he’ll be there for my sister and i’s wedding, and I think that’s one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever heard. It really broke me. It’s something I always think about and his words will be something I will always remember.
I wake up today to hear the tragic news of a singer from YouTube’s father passing away due to aggressive prostate cancer which he had been fighting for 5 years. News like this always seem very discouraging and uncomfortable to me.
Anyways, just wanted to vent. I hope all of you are doing well, my prayers and well wishes are with you all.
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chocolatelover_123
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13 Replies
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I feel your heartbreak.. I am very sorry .. These words spoken are out of love for you girls . 🙏🏼
Dear chocolatelover_123, I think the same sometimes (28 and single, only child, dream of walking down the aisle with my dad taking me...).
But I try to always remember that what is meant to be, will be.
I don't know if I'll ever get married, it's something that doesn't depend only on myself... and even though we're young, it could happen that we go to heaven before our dads, we never know...
I'm trying to place my heart in safe places. Like short term ones. For instance, next Sunday it's Father's Day here in Brazil, so I'll make sure we'll have a nice time together. And that's enough for now
It's something I'm trying to do every day... enjoy all the moments... but not because of fear. Because of gratitude for having him, and because of hope things can be fine 💙
🙏🏼 lots of science is being done and new resources are being developed.
I hope you can find peace, take good care of yourself as well 🌷 I didn't realize until last week how much my life, plans and feelings were also affected by my dad's challenges.
Wonderful response Ladybird thank you for the message- I am putting my heart in safe places. We live with uncertainty all the time but having a man that we love living with cancer makes it part of our reality. Also part of my reality is not wasting too much time on over thinking. You are so young to be going through this with your dad but the silver lining is you are courageously present - to the unsettling stuff as well as the beauty of life . I know it’s hard but look for the good stuff and share that with your dad . Your focus is your reality. Enjoy some good chocolate 😉
PS - Fear is not a coping strategy that you want to strengthen. Feed your gratitude 🙏.
One of the last things my dad did before being diagnosed with lung cancer was walking me down the aisle. My sister didn't get married until 15 years after his death. But he was there, every moment, with us.
Tell him how much you love him and that, if he is not there in body, you will carry him with you in spirit. Say the words while you can. ❤️
As a father to a 31 year old daughter that is the light of my life, let me give you some advise she’s given me. Let’s not let the fear of the future, spoil our joys of today. Not easy to always follow but please try.
Seeing my kids get married would be the biggest dream of mine. However, this is something I would most likely never get blessed with.. and it is something I think of every day (I am only 46 and my yongest is still in kindergarten.. the oldest 10 years old :-S
Yes go tell him today. Like Whimpy and CantChoose said. It is the love that is what is precious and unbreakable and does not ever die and that you both will carry forever. Have that conversation sharing how important this is for each of you because with that I believe you can both move forward in greater peace. Knowing that love is so deeply shared.
Do not grieve in anticipation of something that hasn’t happened yet and may not happen. Your father also needs to practice focusing on the present rather an uncertain future. I am a Gleason 8 and was diagnosed in 2012. I might see my fifth -grade grandson graduate from high school, but then I may not. I went to a counselor to learn how to practice Mindfulness. I was prone to worry about future events that I could not control or were unlikely.
Easy resolution.... For all you women who want to marry so that your Dad's can walk you down the aisle..... I'll marry all of you tomorrow..... Now that we settled that issue...please please and double please live for today. No one can predict tomorrow...Love your dear Fathers now!!! Not to burden you with my dilemma but I have a daughter who I will never be able to walk down the aisle.... so I feel your pain.... So C.C.Lover_123 vent all you want cause we all feel like venting most of the time... Kiss, hug and make your Dads laugh...I miss that!!!
As a father 6 years into this journey (4 at stage 4) that was a concern for me as I’ve always wanted to walk my daughters down the aisle. I’m happy to say I will get that pleasure this Oct. if Covid 19 doesn’t throw us another wrench.
It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your father and he will do what he can to make that a reality. With love and support from family and friends we draw strength to go through treatments and be with our loved ones for many years.
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