A Reality Brick to the Face

[tom67inMA]

My latest blog post. I have a feeling it will get much better reviews here from cancer patients than from my healthy friends on Facebook.

tominmotion.blogspot.com/20...

[bellyhappy58]

Thanks for sharing your blog. I read it and really like your candid and honest approach to it. It is fine that we don't have all the answers....As long as we have hope, we will continue to overcome. Will keep you in my prayers.

[BarronS]

For what it's worth, you still look great. I'm glad that you have a plan of attack for this and there are all these new therapies out and lots more coming down the pipe. I think a huge benefit is just how strong your body is.

I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Cisco99]

Great writing, pal. Good information, too.

[Cisco99]

This is how i think of all those "claps on the back" -- it's the living whistling by the graveyard -- at least in their own minds -- and feeling brave for doing so.

The very best way to have cancer, I am convinced, is "vicariously."

[tom67inMA in reply to Cisco99]

Yes, let's hope treatment forces all our cancers to mutate into the vicarious form

[timotur]

That fire looks great Tom! I liked this: "Hope comes not from ignoring the negative possibilities, but from realizing the worst case is not guaranteed, and the best case is not impossible." Good luck with the upcoming procedures... T

[Haniff]

Hi Tom

Read your blog. A timely reminder of sorts. You look great by the fire place and you holding up the log like a proud angler holding up his catch. Like the smile, keep up the cheer.

My best to you. Take care.

Haniff

[tom67inMA in reply to Haniff]

So when this blog posted in my Facebook feed, it showed that photo and the title, and I thought "that's a log, not a brick, you dummy"

[j-o-h-n in reply to tom67inMA]

Weird, when I first read the title I thought it was a P instead of a B.....

Great Bost.... oops Post

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 02/05/2020 7:50 PM EST

[LearnAll]

TRUTH LIBERATES.....But only brave people like you have guts to face the bitter reality and still remain clear minded.

Among defense mechanisms which our mind utilizes in face of crisis, DENIAL is the strongest but least helpful. WHY ? Because denial takes us away from the reality.

The danger of avoiding the reality is that we can not logically think about our crisis and design most effective solutions to the crisis.

Denial is a protective mechanism to prevent the mind from getting overwhelmed. But it should not be used for long term to prevent us from going too far from the reality.

The manner you are breaking the denial of yourself and others is a great thing and as I said...Dear Tom...Its the TRUTH which finally liberates us. Heartfelt good wishes for the upcoming procedures and chemo...a brave man like you is needed by lot of us.

[tom67inMA in reply to LearnAll]

I'm very much influenced by buddhism/ meditation and the whole notion that suffering comes from wishing things were different than they really are. That it's mostly our reaction to things that cause suffering.

This doesn't come naturally to me. It can be learned but it takes a lot of practice. I think my point is that I agree with your reply, but wanted to clarify that I can face reality because of years of practicing how I respond to things, not because I have any inherent bravery or guts. Others can learn it too!

[LearnAll in reply to tom67inMA]

True that we all have potential to develop towards enlightenment. Deeper understanding of the Universe (God) and the truth that we all are tiny specks in the big scheme of things and deeply interconnected with each other and to the whole.

Mind is the cause of suffering as mind is filled with desires, expectations and all different emotions. Eastern religions emphasize that we need to give up sense of control and leave it to Existence (God) to chart our destiny and we simply do what we can do with knowledge of our limitations as human beings.

We were all part of the Universe and will always remain part of Universe in one form or another....there is no death...only physical body dies...its like soul changing clothes when the clothes become worn out.

Cause of suffering is our attachment to our loved ones, our material possessions etc.

But its so hard to detach and set our real soul free.

[Hidden]

Thanks for sharing that excellent presentation of what you are going through and many of us are experiencing at least a lot of. It is so strange how I cringe inside with all the comments of how good I look. I probably should get over it but ya know when we are experiencing this roller coaster it is hard to explain and your blog did a fine job of explaining a complex situation.

[Danielgreer]

Hi tom, thanks for sharing. I’m hoping for the best for you. You may have mentioned in another post, but what chemo are you having and what is the immunotherapy drug taking? Are you in a study? Thanks again!

[tom67inMA in reply to Danielgreer]

Carboplatin, Etoposide, and Atezolizumab. Not a study. I saw that this combo was approved for small cell lung cancer last year. Since NEPC is so similar, it looks like several members are getting this treatment.

It's going to take a while to remember how to spell them!

[Danielgreer in reply to tom67inMA]

Thanks Tom, I couldn’t even begin to pronounce the names! Thanks for giving details. I look forward to hearing about your new chemo/immune therapy.

[GoBucks]

Great post. Re: people saying "you look good", hey, some of us just have great looks and can't help it, cancer be damned. Good luck ahead and we'll look forward to future posts. By the way, what is your "go to" for laughs? Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

[tom67inMA in reply to GoBucks]

Hahaha! Like the swagger in interpreting "you look good"

Laughs? Monty Python, Princess Bride, Mel Brooks movies, Abrahams/Zucker movies (Airplane, etc), Ricky Gervais, George Carlin, Looney Toons. Recently found "Comedy Bang Bang" on Netflix and its much better than I expected. So much humor in the world. Marx Brothers, 3 Stooges, a little known movie called "Better Off Dead", Abbott and Costello, etc, etc

[dockam in reply to tom67inMA]

youtube.com/watch?v=5gbDgpt...(Not working as expected?)

[GoBucks in reply to tom67inMA]

Nice laugh list. Schitt's Creek on Netflix has me laughing out loud. Marvelous Mrs Maisel on Prime too. Going back & watching Curb Your Enthusiasm. Keep laughing & living.

[greatjohn]

Tom,

it is amazing how annoyed I get hearing from people "you got this".

I just don't know...I just don't know...but I hope!

Thanks again,

gJohn

p.s. and ALL the best of luck, joy, laughter, food...on the journey!

[Hidden]

Those dammed rogue terrorizing cells hiding inside of us . we all know that thought ..APC is a long winded sob . No friend of man

[AZjame]

Tom, your blog post was beautifully written. And full of really important thoughts for those of us dealing with cancer and the uncertainty we now must accept as part of our lives. I thank you for writing it.

[westof]

Hmm... Brother, your attitude is amazing!

Thank you for sharing.

Best

[Rich_Rad]

Hi Tom!

Love you blog post. Although I “only” have 1 of your 3, I can relate to your struggle of holding hope while moving between denial of reality (over-optimism which is really denying our fear) and deep depression (which we know won’t help us in the process of battling the war you describe)..

I experience it as a dance of sorts... going too far with positive attitude leads to living in denial, which I find is almost as unhealthy as allowing myself to become overwhelmed with despair. Allowing for a flow has helped me to stay in reality while holding hope. For me, the most important aspect of keeping the dance in balance is not doing this alone. Again, for me, this includes spouse, other cancer patients, my 12 Step fellowship for my recovery from addiction, and my Higher Power.

So far, all this has allowed me to keep the dance in the middle and holding hope. When things get imbalanced, and I know they likely will, knowing folks like you are in this battle as well can help bring me back.

Thanks for your thoughtful words... I will go back to reading more of your blog.

Rich