Blind Spot

[Cisco99]

There is always that one place you cannot see reliably.

That’s were things sneak up on you.

You know that when the end comes,

it will probably appear in that space

just behind your shoulder

that you cannot comfortably swivel to.

So that is what you focus on,

year after year, with a dismal, forlorn feeling,

because what can you say despite all this vigilance --

"I didn't see it coming."

[Drphil1938]

I suggest you focus on the good things around you and enjoy everyday you have left.

We all know that we have a creeping enemy coming and we are fighting to survive.

Just as our male hormones feed this scourge, good positive thoughts and good positive people, feeds us and gives us energy to fight.

[Cisco99 in reply to Drphil1938]

I guess I am kinda dark at times. I wrote this in 2006, before my daughter took her life. It was about the feeling that I could not control everything, no matter how competent I thought I was. I'll back off, though, or think of some smilier things to say.

I did post a bunch of funny stuff. My tumor stories are wicked funny. Isn't funny, even graveyard funny, good?

Or, look at it this way: Is making me feel bad about my inner ponderings a "good positive thought"?

Thanks for the feedback. I wasn't trying to bum anyone out. But there are dark things approaching -- no matter how sunny we try to be.

[Lyubov in reply to Cisco99]

Cisco99 -- It's understandable that you would have been devastated by your daughter's death & that you would write deeply reflective & moving poem. To me it spoke a terrible truth about life. I often feel exactly that way. And you write beautifully with deep expression & truth. Don't stop sharing your words with us!

[Cisco99 in reply to Lyubov]

Thanks Lyubov!

[Danielgreer in reply to Cisco99]

Please don’t change we can individually decide if we want to read your poems. If someone doesn’t like one of them they can move to the next post without a comment. I’ve noticed that in this forum most of us don’t judge or try to modify how someone is actually feeling. Would be a shame if that changed.

[Hidden]

Your posts are getting depressing as hell. Therefore, I pass over them.

[Cisco99 in reply to Hidden]

Do it! 😃

[Thinus in reply to Cisco99]

I don't pass over it....it is the window to your heart.

[Cisco99 in reply to Thinus]

Thank you Thinus. I do appreciate that generosity. If no one reads my wimperings, I have to whimper really LOUD.

[Thinus in reply to Cisco99]

Louis L'Amour once wrote: a man is born on the road to death. It is not depressing, it is simply true.

And how we travel this road, is over to ourselves.

[Cisco99 in reply to Thinus]

It is the heart of Buddhist thought, according to my wife. Something bout bardos.

Then we have Live each day as if it were our last.

[Danielgreer]

Hi Cisco, I like the poem. I try to turn as best I can to face that space behind my shoulder. Maybe I should take up yoga to better face it? 😀 I go between that and looking at some of the good things in front of me. I try not to linger too long on either place but make an effort to spend some time in both places. In the end, I don’t want to be surprised but at the moment I don’t want to miss out on some good things. Thanks for providing a vehicle to help me think about this!

[MateoBeach]

Thank you for your generosity and courage in sharing your poetry filled with raw honest feelings as well as the ones with humor. And often the two intermixed. My condolences and my compassion comes forward at the shocking blindside of the loss of your daughter. I am touching your hand.

[Cisco99]

Thanks fellas!

[BrentW]

Wow. I wish I could think and write as creatively as this.

[larry_dammit]

Amen brother, some say we are the ones that are being tortured with this monster and it’s not fair. As I see it so far I have been allowed to use this time to say all my good byes to my family and friends , help those that can’t help themselves, bond with my grandchildren and my special wife. I feel sorry for those that just die without warning they have no time to make there peace 😢 just saying. Hate this monster but can’t change anything 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[monte1111]

I also know the loss of a daughter, and an infant son, and a wife. Almost everyone here has lost someone. Most of us find it impossible to sing Auld Lang Syne without tears in our eyes. And then we wipe the tears away and tell the children and grandchildren Happy New Year!

[Cisco99 in reply to monte1111]

Grief for one's children never goes away. It took me years to focus on the beauty and joy of my daughter's life. There was so much to overcome.

[j-o-h-n]

Hey wait a minute.............Shadows always have your back.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Sunday 12/29/2019 10:26 PM EST

[Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n]

Lol ... only the shadow knows what lurks in the hearts of men. ( the weed of crime bears bitter fruit ? Wasn’t sure where the Shadow was going with that one )

[westof in reply to Kaliber]

Hmm... 20 year stretch, the electric chair?

Listen to the Shadow:

youtube.com/watch?v=PBnO9dw...(Not working as expected?)

Best

[Kaliber in reply to westof]

It was great .... I’m old enough to remember it clearly. Yayahahahaya yikes. I couldn’t wait until it came on.

[westof in reply to Kaliber]

I love old radio mysteries and sleuths.

From Sam Spade, Johnny Dollar, Phillip Marlowe and Boston Blackie!

I download them to a retired smart phone (with an extra storage disk, for JPEG files) and pair to a single Bluetooth wireless bud and it helps me go to sleep.

I set the timer on the music app for 1 hour and I'm snoozing before the hour is up!

Here is a link for free downloads: ( you can disregard the plea for donations, just hit X. However, I did send them $20 for all the enjoyment they have provided)

archive.org/details/oldtime...

Best

[Kaliber in reply to westof]

Those were classics, in those days they had to work harder at visualization because it was radio. They did a great job of it too yayahahahaya. Later on, in the late 60s early 70s , Firesign Theatre came along and brought it all back in a way that appealed to the psychedelic and cannabis freaks .. causing a slight renaissance of radio broadcast media in that era yayahahahaya pretty kewl ... shows my age tho .

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

And your gender ... Porgy Tirebiter ... and there's hamburger all over the highway

[Kaliber in reply to Cisco99]

Yayahahahaya ... those were great. I heard something different every time I listened to the. Pastor rod flash, bozo’s on the buss ... like us . I would laugh until my sides were sore. Probably assisted with cannabis a little. Yayahahahaya

We’re showing our age brother 😂😂😂😂

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

Obviously, those men were lunatics. So freaking bright, so passively furious with the world. And they had this great radio drama technology which exactly suited their needs. They cast an electromagnetic spell.

Confession, I haven't listened to those guys in 20 years -- cuz I don't get high in a fun way since I got married. You do that shit around your spouse and she will tell you it doesn't begin to make her laugh. Oh, serious woman ...

I loved laughing -- haha yoga, I called it.

Who else -- SNL, A Whitney Brown, Monty Python, Duck's Breath, NatLampCo, Lord Buckley ... I was peeing my pants long before I got PCa.

[Hidden in reply to Cisco99]

Monty python . “ we’ve got to look at the brighter side of life” from the gallows . My favorite MP ..

[Kaliber in reply to Cisco99]

Yea wives can be such Debbie downers sometimes yayahahahaya. I just say “ yes dear “ , yes dear “ , “ yes dear “ .... “ whatever you say dear “ ..... now unlock the door and let me back in dear .... yayahahahaya yayahahahaya. I show her who’s boss ... ..... whenever she lets me !

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

It is magnified eleven times when you are dopey from meds.

[Kaliber in reply to Cisco99]

Yayahahahaya

[monte1111 in reply to westof]

Great electric chair laugh and a really great link. What a collection! Thanks so much! I shall go back in time, at least for a little while.

[j-o-h-n in reply to Kaliber]

youtube.com/watch?v=i2fih2p...(Not working as expected?)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Monday 12/30/2019 10:37 PM EST

[Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n]

Yep that’s the one yayahahahaya a little jazzed up for more modern times but that’s the one. These days I’m more a deep house chill kind of guy. Reggae ska chill and chill salad - lush SomaFM . Kinda eclectic I guess yayahahahaya

Peace brother ✌️✌️

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

I listen to acres of Brian Eno

[Kaliber in reply to Cisco99]

I just checked him out ... very relaxing ambient genre . Lots of times where that would work for me too. 👍👍👍

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

I also dig Mark Isham ... His "Blue Sun" sends me up the walls. I was going up there anyway ...

What else ... Wilco's "Sky Blue Sky" ... Beach Boys "Holland" ... Phillip Glass ... Mahavishnu Orchestra ... Beck ... Larry Coryell early stuff ... Miles david, "Jack Johnson"

All these tunes make me higher than Xanax ,,, I guess

[Hidden in reply to Cisco99]

Music is it!

[Kaliber in reply to Cisco99]

Kewl tunes , great for chill’in. If they work better than Xanax that’s a good thing. No withdrawal monkey with the music yayahahahaya

Rite own brother 👍👍👍

[Cisco99 in reply to Kaliber]

Eno INVENTED ambient -- "Music for Airports," 1978 New age, minus the dippy

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

Thanks again j-o-h-n ! I saw him a few times live . Fantastic fiddle master energy he had ..

[Kaliber in reply to Hidden]

Devil went down to Georgia song .... 👍👍👍👍

[Hidden in reply to Kaliber]

He smoked that fiddle on that one for sure . His signature dish it was ..

[Kaliber in reply to Hidden]

He was very popular and drew big crowds, think he had a song with Ringo Star too..... Charlie played guitar on that song I think. A talented guy.

👍👍👍👍