At first my thoughts were Stage 4 metastatic, “incurable” prostate CANCER takes away your future. It’s been over a year now and I say FU cancer. I was married on Saturday and having a lakeside cottage in the woods remodeled. At first I thought why bother if I only have a few years to live but now I think if I put my life on hold because of cancer what happens if I do live longer than the gross stats indicate?? Oh shit! I should have done this or that! So we all die sometime. I’m not letting cancer steal my future. FU cancer!
Attitude: At first my thoughts were... - Advanced Prostate...
Attitude
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6357axbz
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I find it very empowering to live life fully with the knowledge that you are intentionally disregarding the "diagnosis". Choosing to live, not giving up on life. Planning for the future but living fully in each moment of the "eternal now".
My wife and I just bought a second house on the Oregon Coast and I posted about in a post called "Finish the Dream". I really had to disregard the cancer and just go for it. It felt so good to do that, so strong.
We have cancer. But we have the power to choose life, choose to live rather than die. Value the precious moments one at a time and savor them. You are alive.
Costarica1961• in reply to
Gregg57 i live on the oregon coast as well i live in seaside oregon where abouts do you live my docs are all in astoria
Rik. Costarica
• in reply toCostarica1961
We have a house in Lincoln City.
Thank- you my brothers!
I love you guys! Always an inspiration!!
Schwah
I take it "Vacation" is going well...our brother is doing well....he is 6 months out.... here's hoping for a really long vacation for you both... Take care, Schwah....
Don Pescado
It is going well. Thx. A little anxiety tho as to the best way to monitor my disease. Having 60% of a Prostate means some level of psa should come back even with no cancer. That leaves imaging as my best way to see when I need to go back on drugs. Thx Don.
Schwah
Great attitude...
The reality is anyone can die anytime, cancer or no cancer ! PCA makes us more aware of reality of death by giving the message that life is finite.
I like that, 6357. "Dynamic denial!"
That’s the right attitude! I did get my affairs in order by de-risking my securities portfolio after stage 4 dx and have very aggressively treated my PCa (see profile). But I’m doing fine. Living the good life! But I’m 75 and that’s a decent length of life. But hoping for 80!
Thanks. I see you had various Mets zapped (SBRT) along the way. Was that an issue with your insurance as not being SOC?
Love your attitude. Congratulation. Looking forward to hearing more great news . PCa will only be a small tiny chapter in our book of Life. God be with you
It wasn't till I got Pca that I really started to live. I was going through life on autopilot ,not fully realizing that I wasn't enjoying anything. I almost think of cancer as a gift.
• in reply toMagnus1964
I've found the same thing. I feel like cancer has taught me how to live more completely. I have a better understanding of what it means to live and the real value of life.
Cancer has also helped me to see more clearly what is important and what is not.
I was already on the path to learning these things, but having cancer has really sped up the process. There's no time to waste now.
I share exactly the same thoughts. I married year ago and have a 14 year old stepson.
So far Lupron/Zytiga/Prednisone with 9 weeks of EBRT have kept my cancer in check.
I had one inguinal nodal met confirmed by biopsy and GA-68 PSMA PET MR. Gleason 7 (4+3).
PSA has been <0.06 for 18 month.
Stoping Lupron/Zytiga/Prednisone on 11/15.
My team @ Weill Cornell are hopeful 4 a cure.
I now view my cancer as a blessing.
Found my faith and living life, fearing nothing in this world.
Having a loving relationship is so important. I'm married to my best friend who is also my medical advocate.
Great story dockam! Thanks for sharing
Wonderful outlook. I'm stage 4 GS stage 5. Trying to remain upbeat but the beast plays with my head from time to time. I think it's the whole uncertainty of whether or not I (and hopefully many others) will have extended and positive results from treatments. Success seems so random.
I have always been pretty active and have traveled extensively. But about 3 months after my diagnosis, I kicked Iife into high gear. In the last 10 months I have gone SCUBA diving in Grand Cayman (down 130 feet),raced my ZO6 Corvette on the Sebring Florida track, gone snow skiing in both Whitefish Montana and Breckenridge Colorado, spent a week on the Maine coast, a few days in Vegas, went duck hunting in western Louisiana, played in a golf tournament in Detroit Lakes Minnesota, spent 2 weeks in Great Guana Cay Abacos w a 23’ open fisherman boat, and leaving for Nashville tomorrow. Ten days ago I got back from riding enduro motorcycles (Royal Enfield Himalayan’s) with one of my sons n 3 other fiends (ages 30, 30, 46 n 54). We rode over 1200 miles between Yellowstone and Glacier National Park, and about 500 miles were on logging roads and dirt trails! What a blast!
Most days I don’t even think about my cancer but other days I might have a quick cry.
I paddle board almost every day and go to the gym several times a week. I have a wonderful wife who encourages all of this and she goes with me on the couples trips. As the Stones said “Rock n Roll Hoochy Coo”!
Congratulations on your marriage, I hope that you and your wife will be happy in your beautiful home by the lakeside, sounds wonderful.
After 5 years of this, I feel the best I've felt in ages, I like many others wasn't going to give in, I've got too much to live for, my wife, our children, the grandchildren and our beautiful Border Collie.
Yes it's a shock when it diagnosed and you do think the wrong way at first, it's natural, but you didn't invite it in, so kick it out, grab hold of your life and live it brother.
Our love to you and the Mrs !
Phil
The only guy who knows the “day or the hour” isn’t telling. Many men here have had mCRPCa for decades. Enjoy life to its fullest! I am sitting in Western Australia as I write this, drinking cold beer with my wife and Aussie friends . Our 5th trip to this great country. Get out and live!
(Any reader living in or near Fremantle can come to the Norfolk Hotel during the next 4 hours...beer is on me. Look for the tall guy 😀)
Wish I were in aussie land.
Yep, that's exactly the right attitude to have...
If I'm going down, I'm going down swinging and in style while living my best life 
Cancer will never get the best of me!!
Well the FU attitude is understandable, but you still need to access the best doctors and available treatments or your dream of living long enough to enjoy a new wife and a cottage and all the bliss that brings to most well adjusted humans might be cut short, and swearing at your cancer will not stop it growing.
I found that after diagnosis at 62yo in 2009 with a Gleason 9 inoperable PG, with Psa only 6, that I'd be starting endless ADT and any chance of bliss with any lady would be impossible. But by age 62, I found all the extremely few ladies I'd met for previous 20 years were all allergic to settling down with any male because the hormones cause ladies to pause from men, and many were bitter and angry over their divorce, and had become allergic to all male things and ideas.
So, getting chemically castrated put a final stop to any hope of ever having any lady live closely with me. The most deeply touching experiences I have had with 2 ladies since just before Dx in 2008 was where they stuck a middle finger up me bum to feel my prostate gland. One was a local lady doctor I much liked in 2008, other was a female Registrar doctor before I had EBRT in 2010.
But I have enjoyed the wonderful caring nurses along the way, without ever having sex with anyone. My life did not fall apart just because I missed out on getting a partner who I could keep on the porch without trying. I love women, but I never needed to belong with one; it was nice when it happened, but they all were allergic to settling and all wanted to roam the world and could never just be there for anyone. So I had no kids, and this was my unintended effort to stop Global Warming, and my kids won't be fighting other ppl's kids for the dwindling supply of cheap housing and all else in Nature we cherish. I've survived a long time while sitting on Puff The Magic Prostate Grenade that has been slowly exploding these last few years, but it has been at least partially de-fused by Lu177.
My bicycle is quite friendly, and lets me go for a ride any old time I like.
Patrick Turner.
I got a pump installed by Dr. Wang in Houston....works great....going to try the bike again but a little concerned sitting on the seat and peddling will blow my pump up and the adjacent tissues..! Blue Skies ......I remain grounded but still workin on it....Sky King Everyone have fun ....101 today in Georgia which is really unusual....but early morning Fall is still in the air....even though Lawrence of Arabia arrives around 1pm and it is so F.....hot you see the dunes..TGIF and I have closed my practice 9 years ago...still love weekends...
So you got a pump installed by doctor. What sort of pump? I didn't know doctors also could solve hydraulics or pneumatic problems. Is it a motivational pump? Where's the safety valve for when the pressure gets too high? aka kafooful valve. Will they let you fly a Tiger Moth? - away from populated areas of course? 38C in Georgia at start of autumn. Yup, is unusual, and was caused by very high numbers of ppl taking part in the Dakota farting competition by eating all the soy beans Donald prevented being exported to China. So vast clouds of methane as a result, so higher temps.
By jove, Old Lawrence must be getting old now, and I heard they had to give his favourite camel yet another heart transplant. But he might ride into town on his Brough Superior, now that would be a sight to see. Who is TIGF, is that Terrific Girl I Found ? Oh you naughty man, but best of luck with her.
I love weekends, when another week begins, and every day is like Sunday.
I'll just pedal down the road a little bit today, and termora, then have a massage to help muscles remember what exercise is about. But no "happy ending."
Patrick Turner.
TGIF. Thank God It's Friday. Fairly meaningless to retired people. Every day is Friday. I am dismayed at missing the Dakota Farting Competition. As young men living the life in a crazy party house, we had a tape recorder, and well.......I believe we have been copied since then. Born in Dakota, but went to California to compete. Absolute proof that reality is never on a reality series.
Hmm... "The loudest fart ever recorded occurred on May 16, 1972 in Madeline, Texas by Alvin Meshits. The blast maintained a level of 194 decibels for one third of a second. I have my doubts as to the veracity of this claim due to the name."
Wasn't it Barthomelew Phartarsious? My ears are still ringing, we heard him in Australia. He had a mental problem, obsession with lentils and beans, and could only be calmed down when he married Gertrude Fanfunny, the widow of the late Rodger Longpole, a wealthy oil tycoon. She sprinkled a few drops of oil on the beans, and that seemed to make Bart reluctant to eat, or demolish the bathroom so often with catastrophic outgoings from his top and bottom regions.
Patrick Turner.
Well said, Patrick-Turner : "Swearing at your cancer will not stop it growing"
Its incredible that something as obvious as that had to be actually pointed out
• in reply towhatsinaname
Oh SHIT, I better start treatment in that case!
I too say Fuck at saying Fuck...
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Friday 09/13/2019 6:32 PM DST
Well said , I’m building a old classic truck and reclaiming a old property. No reason to stop. 🙏🙏🙏😜
Beautifully stated. Love your optimism. God bless🙏
When one has been told one has a condition or disease that limits one’s time, then one lives with an increased awareness of the value of time.
PC sucks. And knowing that the road doesn’t go on forever makes prioritizing and living in the moment easier.
6357axbz,
Awesome post! I believe attitude goes a long way in keeping this disease I also remodeled my lake home at stage 4 and now am living a wonderful at the lake with my wonderful life. It’s farther to go to treatments but well worth the serenity.
Keep Fighting!
Congratulations 6357axbz! Thanks for sharing. Living life to the fullest, what a great way to say, FU cancer!
I too went to a dark place when I was told I was stage 4 with mets but was able to pull myself out and decided to live the best life I could with cancer. I play tennis several times a week, hike 5-7 miles every Wednesday with my HU friend Moespy and have a great travel plan set up. I celebrated my daughters wedding in May, my 33 year anniversary in September and my second daughters wedding a year from now. I'm currently on chemo and Aberaterone but continue my activities, I'm going down kicking and screaming, FU cancer! 62 and shooting for 70!
Here! Here! I was ready to quit all projects and roll over and wait to die, but realized that all we get are projections and estimates. I'm going to try and post a picture of a bumper sticker I think you'll appreciate along with this reply.
But it didn't work.
So if you're OK with sharing, give me an email I can send it to.
In the meantime, I'll put my life on hold because of cancer and pray that I don't live longer.
LOL
Thank you for your post,
I needed to read it, have (exact) same issues. I may be older than you at 68.
If you stop living now, your life has stopped. Agree with your logic.
I hope we may/can maintain a positive Attitude. Thx.
To life always!!
I've tried to be realistic and got all my affairs in order so there would be minimal loose ends for my wife to have to deal with. That accomplished, I've tried to lead as normal a life as I can within the physical constraints imposed by the rotten side effects.
What is, is and you just have to deal with it. But always remember losing and being defeated are two very different things. You may lose but you are never defeated until you quit.
So enjoy each day. Kiss your wife, watch the birdies at the feeders and, as long as the beer is cold life is good.
A good attitude can only help and yours is great! Yes, we all have our ups and down but we all know the score. Its a maintenance issue. Live life one day at a time and God's Blessings to you and yours.
Great attitude my friend. Thanks for resetting my perspective on cancer once again. Well said!!
I didn't know you married Peg in April,,, Belated Wishes....
youtube.com/watch?v=5yW3l9O...
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Friday 09/13/2019 6:23 PM DST
Me? I labeled all the bottles and boxes of screws, bolts and nails in my basement...
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Friday 09/13/2019 6:38 PM DST
Please read Lorraine Days book Im not afraid of cancer anymore. You will be happy you did.
PS You are right...dont let cancer direct your life.
I admire people like you, attitude and npfisherman. Honestly, everyone on this site inspires me. I usually come off on this site like I’ve got it all together but, during my first 1.5 years, I exhibited really destructive and unhealthy behavior and made poor business decisions. I somehow lived through that and things started to change inside and out. I’m in the land of the living now more than ever. A true blessing. Congratulations ya’ll!
Thanks dmeffert... it takes time to adjust mentally, emotionally, and spiritually...everyone comes to terms with this in their own timeframe... look forward to seeing you in NOLA in a few weeks... Enjoy the weekend.... we will raise a toast....drink some wine...and revel in living...
Take care, brother....
Fish
Great post, great replies. Enjoy.
Congratulations!!!! Yes get up every day and treat it as a gift. I know just how you feel then something great happens in my day! Fight hard. Surround yourself with friends and do your BEST! God Bless
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