Something people wont say.

[Tjc1]

We all know people love to say "you look really good" and how are you feeling. I dont know why but that statement seems weird when people say that.

I spent the winter in florida for 3 months and lots of friends and family members havent seen iin 4 months or so. While there i lost 35 lbs. Im not a big guy so ot shows, I put off getting new shorts and stuff till i see where im going to land with this weight loss.

Anyway, while im looking really good to everyone not one person said anything about me losing weight. Kinda funny but i guess they think that relates to dying or something. But just found it amusing.

[IrishDude]

The year before my diagnosis I lost about 40 pounds by strictly following the keto diet. A couple of the smart-alecks in my crowd would say things like “you look like a cancer patient”. Now everyone knows about my situation, and surprisingly enough the remarks have magically ceased.

[tom67inMA]

A couple times I've turned the question around and asked what they expected me to look like. They don't have a ready answer to that, but eventually go on to describe somebody in their last days if not hours of life.

Part of what we must do as cancer patients is education. A diagnosis does not make us instantly old and weak. If we're lucky enough to get a great response to treatment, it doesn't mean we're off treatment and cured.

People hate uncertainty. Being otherwise healthy with an incurable, deadly disease means living with uncertainty every day. I think that makes people very uncomfortable, and they say the strangest things like "you look great" or "you'll beat this", and that is their way of coping with your diagnosis.

[SeosamhM in reply to tom67inMA]

Agreed, it’s tough to stay patient and understand how “normal” think and perceive me. Sometimes they will ask me how I’m doing and I’ll quip back: “Still dyin’..!”. The ones that can cope laugh, the others are mired in awkward silence. I’m a mean man!

[tom67inMA in reply to SeosamhM]

I have a dark sense of humor too. I told my mom I wanted to outlive her, but she had to cooperate by not living to 100.

[greatjohn]

So true...I'm always quoting "you can never be too rich or too thin". And I am up about 20 pounds more (since way before my diagnosis over 5 years ago....) and even then, when I say I've finally come down a couple of pounds...People seem to not know what to say.

Truth is...I really think everyone does his best at his "fighting weight"...Mine always felt like 175 (as I'm only 5'9"). However...even the nurses and doctors tell me they think I weight about 175-180 NOW. I'm weighing in between 189 and 194.

I know I feel better lighter...trying to get down to 185. I don't want to "push the envelope" so to speak now...

It's a tricky subject. ~~gJohn

[Shooter1 in reply to greatjohn]

Lost 7# in last 6 mo. Would like to get down to 185 or even 180. 193 is current and started this fight at 210. Was 6' but back problems have reduced me to 5'10".

[Tjc1]

Id sell you my secret but there isn't one!

[jrodrig]

Usually people say me that I have a nice and wealthy face. I say them that I don't have any desease in my face.

[onajourney]

When people tell me "Wow! You are looking great!" I say "Thanks! Its all an illusion." Then wink and smile.

[Tjc1 in reply to onajourney]

Ha! I just got outworked by people 10 years my senior. Back was sore going into it but i was drained after 2 1/2 hrs. Went home and napped.