CREATION - Food for thought.

[j-o-h-n]

In the beginning God created the

Heavens and the Earth and populated

the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and

spinach, green and yellow and red

vegetables of all kinds, so Man and

Women would lead live long and healthy

lives.

Then using God’s great gifts.

Satan created Ben and Jerry’s

Ice cream and Krispy Kreme

Donuts. And Satan said, “You

want chocolate with that?”

and Man said, “Yes!” and

Woman said “and as long as

you’re at it, add some

sprinkles”. And they gained

10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the

Healthful yogurt that

Woman might keep the

figure that Man found so

fair. And Satan brought

forth white flour from the

wheat, and sugar from the

cane and combined them.

and Woman went from

Size 6 to 14.

So, God said, “Try my fresh green

salad.” And Satan presented

thousand-Island dressing,

buttery croutons and garlic toast

on the side.

and Man and Woman unfastened

their belts following the repast.

God then said “I have sent you heart

healthy vegetables and olive oil in

which to cook them”. And Satan

brought them deep fried and

chicken-fried steak so big it needed its

own platter. And Man gained more

weight and his cholesterol went through

the roof. God then created a light. Fluffy

white cake, named it “Angel Food

Cake” and said, “It is good”. Satan then

created chocolate cake and named it

“Devil’s Food”.

God then brought forth

running shoes so that His

children might lose those extra

pounds. And Satan gave cable

TV with a remote-control so

Man would not have to toil

changing the channels. And

Man and Woman laughed and

cried before the flickering blue

Light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato,

naturally low in fat and brimming

with nutrition. And Satan peeled off

the healthful skin and sliced the

starchy center into chips and deep-

fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man

might consume fewer calories and still

satisfy his appetite. And Satan created

McDonalds and its

99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said,

“You want fries with that?” And Man

replied “Yes! And super-size them!”

and Satan said, “It is good”. And Man

Went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created

Quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created cuts to the

Health Care System.

Amen

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/14/2019 5:00 PM EST

[Hidden]

“ The only reason god created man was that he was disappointed with the monkey” MT

[j-o-h-n in reply to Hidden]

I agree...

youtube.com/watch?v=416o9b_...(Not working as expected?)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/14/2019 6:02 PM EST

[smroush in reply to Hidden]

The monkey is looking better and better....

[cujoe]

One of your best, j-o-h-n. And very appropriate for Valentine's Day. Just make sure those are dark chocolates you eat today. Be Well (Woof, Woof) - cujoe

[j-o-h-n in reply to cujoe]

youtube.com/watch?v=fLS_29P...(Not working as expected?)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/14/2019 6:04 PM EST

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

I believe one of my big brothers talked me into eating a slice as a Ladd. Smooth move ex-lax ,was the saying.. fond memories..of childhood.

[monte1111 in reply to Hidden]

Our toddler got into wife's purse and found some "chocolate" candy. Poison control center said don't worry, but made for a few interesting days. When young we were into chewing tobacco. A newbie had his chaw all chewed nicely and asked "now what?" A guy said "swallow". Nothing to do with ex-lax, but it was funny then, and I'm laughing now.

[j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111]

Butting in:

No Iphones in those days , only eyephones.... too bad would have been a winner on AFHV....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 6:46 PM EST

[NPfisherman]

Thanks for the laugh on Valentine's Day....a fine creation... Satan's temptation of man never ends .... a story from the dawn of mankind...

[AZjame]

Hilarious! Love this post.

[j-o-h-n]

As I say goodbye to my doctors, brother SsamO.... "It's been a pleasure......... all yours".

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/24/2019 7:48 PM EST

[dvcarola]

So funny as always John! Altho I cannot relate to cuts in the healthcare system because we dont even have one here to begin with! 😭🤣

[Hidden in reply to dvcarola]

Peace brother.

[GeorgeGlass in reply to dvcarola]

USA has the best healthcare in the world but it has been weakened by people and politicians trying to socialize it and by lawsuits that are exhorbanant in their monetary payouts. Both of those harmful trends have increased costs and disincentived people from becoming doctors. Even so, our healthcare is better than the rest of the world considering how unhealthy the eating, exercise and stressful behaviors of most of the people in America.

[j-o-h-n in reply to GeorgeGlass]

I couldn't have said it better myself...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 1:49 PM EST

[GeorgeGlass in reply to j-o-h-n]

You as well John!

[Hidden in reply to GeorgeGlass]

George,

my ex wife, Monica (and now cool friend), is Norwegian, her brother, Johnny, in Norway diagnosed with brain cancer, had surgery to take out the tumor successfully. After a few follow ups, he was classified as "cured".

About a year and half after the surgery, Johnny, one day - passed out all of a sudden. Then complained about some dizziness. The Norwegian doc, said, it's stress, just take it easy, I'll clear you for some work time off.

Well, six months went by, frequency of symptoms increased, so "got approved" to engage the brain docs, the scans showed the tumor came back, but too large to operate.

So, "approved for hospice", well Monica is a Miami area nurse practitioner, went back to visit bother in Norway. Unbelievable, to say, Monica had to fight for her brother's QoL every single day, like being hydrated, cleaned, fed, body exercise, ect...

The Norwegian nurses don't have the training like US nurses, in fact, just an 18 month course and presto, certified nurse!

My point, this is Norway, I could not believe what I've witnessed, sad for Johnny.

Anyway, I'm first generation American, born in NYC, my parents from Cuba. I keep reading how wonderful socialist healthcare is in Cuba, OMG, the horror stories there would be a New York Times Best Sellers terror fiction book.

[j-o-h-n in reply to Hidden]

Butting In. (my 2 cents worth)

Wow poor guy... cured? hmmmm Damn doctors bury their mistakes. Remind me never to get sick when I visit Norway or should I say NO WAY. All I know is that my Cuban friends who immigrated here said the Island used to be wonderful. Now it's great if you want to buy a 1950's American muscle car. I think i'll leave the hospital stays to Raúl Castro, he should rot there.

BTW Anyway, I'm first generation American, born in NYC.

Yo hablo espanol de callle, no esquella. ?Comprende? We're very fortunate that our parents decided to immigrate here. (Your's were force to however). So my friend Frank from Cuba (family from Basque region of Spain) was dating a girl from P R. He went to her home for the obligatory meet the family dinner. While sitting at the table he saw a roach creeping up the wall and yelled out "mira un bitcho". Well you know what bitcho means to a P. R., so the dinner stopped and everyone was staring at him and he couldn't understand why. He eventually married her and subsequently divorced her. BTW What neighborhood did you grow up in NYC?

Gimme those black beans on the white rice...........Cuba Libre...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 5:33 PM EST

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

LOL, yes understood that, spent many years in PR, people there kept telling me, hey, I know you're Cuban, worked for me very well with native girls.

j-o-h-n, my amazing NYC friend, I'm worried about you, forgot our discussion about the 7 line, you called it the Orient Express, Jackson heights...

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

Forgot to add, would be nice if my bitcho would have the size of those NYC cockroaches...

[j-o-h-n in reply to Hidden]

and as fast....and as strong....

When I grew up in the south Bronx we used to keep a baseball bat handy just to "stun" the roaches...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 6:23 PM EST

[GeorgeGlass in reply to j-o-h-n]

Agreed. Also laughing about the story lol. Good stuff

[GeorgeGlass in reply to Hidden]

I agree. The love affair that American media has with everything in Europe is based on fantasy. There are some great things about Europe but they are worse than America for healthcare. Plus, the Europe of the 1950s-1990s is gone and the new Europe is wrought with numerous, major issues. Sorry to her about your relative. That's very sad to hear. 😒

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That’s a shocker to me . I thought Norwegians were heavily taxed and had great medicine. Huh ! Born in NYC , that’s cool . Nothing more American that that. The third world we know how good they have it.? Unless you’re rich you’re on your own . Politics screw up most things in America. Still , my beloved homeland.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Even in America 1/3 of all deaths are medical mistakes.. everyone is “ Practicing” medicine..

[Hidden in reply to GeorgeGlass]

True true true..

[j-o-h-n]

details, details, details....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/14/2019 8:02 PM EST

[Hidden]

I think those guys played at my wedding. Sharp dressers.. where do find this stuff hahaha..?

[j-o-h-n in reply to Hidden]

You're so lucky, I taped your wedding....

youtube.com/watch?v=Ce1ip0F...(Not working as expected?)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 1:55 PM EST

[monte1111 in reply to j-o-h-n]

Remember my wedding well. Judge said "I now pronounce you man and wife." Wife turned to me and said, "Things are going to change around here."

[j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111]

Truer words were never spoken....

Do you know what every bride thinks when she's walking down the aisle?

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 6:51 PM EST

[j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111]

"thank god no more b.j"s.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 6:54 PM EST

[monte1111 in reply to j-o-h-n]

That is so funny. You nailed that one right on the head. A birthday or Christmas reward maybe. And there is nothing wrong with your television set. Your wife will control all that you hear and see.

[j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111]

and do....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 8:36 PM EST

[Hidden in reply to monte1111]

And boy does it..

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

Beautiful people full of joy. Wow . Gracias Juanote!

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

These fine people enjoy life...uplifting .

[Hidden]

SSamO . The kid is an adult now . The tree and artistic cinematography fantastic. Thought provoking.. Thanks

[charlesmeyers1964]

i've heard no one nor any medical doctors that have said that eating good will cure u of this disease. me personality going on my 11 year is, do the treatments and with trial program available. when all is done kiss your ass,and life good by and prepare for the end.

[Hidden in reply to charlesmeyers1964]

Hell yah. Go out with a double cheeseburger in your hand if that’s the dream . Why not. Ain’t no cure .. preparation is everything . Prepare to move to new digs. Like your style..I’ll just drop the cheeseburgers for kale...love that stuff..

[DeanNelson]

Dammit John .... I have a hard time trying NOT to pee myself.... but i just peed everywhere on this one!!!

Love it

[Lyubov]

j-o-h-n ~~ you're a poet and don't know it! Or, I guess you do! Such a witty poet too!

[Hidden in reply to Lyubov]

Longfellow..

[monte1111 in reply to Hidden]

Around here, I believe that's Shortfellow

[j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111]

Bingo!

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Saturday 02/16/2019 12:19 PM EST

[Jimhoy]

I saw no mention of beer!!! There’ll be beer........ right?!!!!!!

[j-o-h-n in reply to Jimhoy]

Right of course, God made beer which has a head. The devil just made us the middle man with piss coming out of our little head.

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 1:24 PM EST

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

Speak for yourself...

[Hidden in reply to Jimhoy]

Of your choice.

[GeorgeGlass]

Nice

[GeorgeGlass]

Just follow God and nature and you'll be great. It's difficult for most these days.

[j-o-h-n in reply to GeorgeGlass]

I do follow God and nature and my wife.....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 1:52 PM EST

[GeorgeGlass in reply to j-o-h-n]

I know. I've read your other posts. You're following a great regime. Mine is similar. Godspeed John.

[Hidden in reply to j-o-h-n]

All the same..

[Hidden]

John, by the way, do you know where I can get a good Exorcism these days?

[j-o-h-n]

My ex-wife in Ohio

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 5:35 PM EST

[Maleko808]

Yep.

[j-o-h-n in reply to Maleko808]

I agree....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Friday 02/15/2019 8:38 PM EST

[Rogersw]

Brilliant

[ITCandy]

I came across this last night while eating a pound of cherry nibs and thought to myself that I must be possessed by Satan.

They sure tasted good though.

[j-o-h-n in reply to ITCandy]

If you were possessed by Satan I think you would be eating Natas....not Cherry Nibs....

But what the Hell as long as they tasted good.....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 08/06/2020 10:21 PM DST