From my "handle" you can guess I'm a caregiver. And gosh I'm struggling -- and my husband is not that incapacitated at this point. Still working a bit. Other than the mCRPC, he's overall healthy.
He has a dire prognosis (dx at Stage IV with distant bone mets 4 years ago, run through almost all of the treatment options, and his clinical signs are worsening). So he's mentally dealing with a lot. I get it. But he shuts me out -- like I'm invisible or just don't matter at all, or if he does notice me, I'm in the way and annoying and an obstacle and pretty much apparently to blame for everything that is wrong in his world. Sometimes when he gets really tired, he's nice to me for a few minutes before he falls asleep.
I do take care of myself with massage, walks, walking away as needed, doing my work, and seeing a therapist.
What I'm looking for here is just that -- "you are not alone" reassurance. I know this but I guess I'm hoping maybe to start a thread where other caregivers can go when they are having moments like this.
When I came home from work and the bare minimum communication and big wall continued today, I sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried and stared into space for a while. That helped somewhat . . . Maybe another massage this weekend!