Mental Health: We talk a lot on here... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Mental Health

CBurnett profile image
108 Replies

We talk a lot on here about treating prostate cancer but those that have felt like life was near end- how did you deal with the emotional health? Did you take antidepressants, etc? What helped with the complete feeling of sadness? Thank for your help.

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CBurnett profile image
CBurnett
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108 Replies
Dan59 profile image
Dan59

C , Excellent question, Cancer can be depressing, I have known a lot of men with cancer who were prescribed antidepressants. Myself I try my best to ignore the cancer in between treatments, get up every morning and put one foot in front of the other, make it a point to do something or go somewhere everyday. I spend as much time as I can with family and I pray. It helps a lot to help other people, for me it is helpful to myself to try and help others. When I ask myself how much time I have left, I try to answer with enough time to make a difference.

wishing you the best c, and we are all here for you.

in reply to Dan59

I want to follow your outlook..That is a fantastic approach to all this .Thanks!

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to Dan59

I bury myself in my work. Thankfully, I find it engrossing and fascinating, my work being as a researcher in palaeontology. I am not sure that it would be so successful a strategy if I was, say, packing shelves in a supermarket. Every project I do raises more questions to answer, and hopefully I have enough time left to answer a few of them. As an unexpected side effect of this, I realise more and more what a wonderful world we live in. Much as I rile against my disease, I try to make sure that the pleasure I get from my research wins out. Do any others have this coping mechanism?

in reply to BrentW

Good for you to have such an interest..Keeping the mind occupied is crucial..you are blessed with a great attitude...

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to BrentW

Steven J Gould was a researcher in palaeontology and an evolutionary theorist at Harvard , who was diagnosed with mesothelioma a cancer that had a median survival of 8 months ,he immersed himself in his work and survived for 20 years, finally dying of a different cancer ,Just months after he finished his greatest work"The Structure of Evolutionary Theory, a massive volume of some 1,400 pages. After he saw his 8 month prognosis, He wrote a great paper on the median statistics of Cancer "The median is not the message" It is a great read for anyone diagnosed with cancer and given a median survival, here is his paper, phoenix5.org/articles/Gould...

BrentW profile image
BrentW in reply to Dan59

For me it has been 15 years so far, and hoping for many more. I cannot way I have published a 1400 page tome, but I have -- if I may boast (not my best thing) -- cracked a problem or two that have confounded scientists for over a century. academia.edu/22223486/Disti...

academia.edu/462923/Guilds_...

What fun! Can you sense my grin from there?

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to BrentW

Great Papers Brent, I am impressed. I like how you study marine life in the Caribbean , what a great place to be. Its great that you enjoy this and it keeps you busy.

Dan

Scruffybut1 profile image
Scruffybut1 in reply to Dan59

Thanks Dan, I am not alone in bucking the median.

Close for me was 24 months w/ A. D. T., an additional 19 months w/chemo.That's what we were told at first. Because I was 53 with #4 metastatic 39 months seamed very short..If I did nothing I was told less than 2 yrs., With brutal pain like a woman in labor because this was all in my pelvis.My wife and I cried for weeks..For me canaby oil has helped with depression and moods.Instead of kalonapen,then lexapro for one month before the phyciatrist would even talk to me.So instead of more chemicals,I opted for canaby..Truth be told with Negative P. S. A. It's a battle to keep it together.My blessing is my unconditional love of my wife..Without that I couldn't survive..

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

For those in a state where medical &/or recreational marijuana is legal, I highly recommend finding a strain of marijuana that always improves your mood, whatever mood you're in. "Cookies" is a favorite of mine. It makes me more sociable, too, & I have more fun & get more enjoyment from many things.

in reply to Neal-Snyder

Cookies sounds and probably (taste) good too.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

It tastes good, & your food will taste better too.

in reply to Neal-Snyder

A great benefit..

lucky999 profile image
lucky999 in reply to

how old are you now. I surely like you to cross a century.

DAN59--you are leading by example--a perfect foil for negativity is to keep mind so full of positivity, there is no space for evil thoughts.

men are brave, struggle is in every day life, that is the purpose of life.

my best wishes to everyone .

More should be shared by long term survivors periodically about their success & let others learn from that!!!!!1.

in reply to lucky999

I like that name Lucky 999 and 9 is my b day and Lucky #.I have negative thoughts and I've had weeks and months of that bull.Hopefully I'm pulling out of it .but living in permanent menapause is a test to all at hand .I only post positive but most of us have ups and downs. Hope to be one of those long term fellows. I'm 56 .This started 2 yrs ago for me..Having good news raises the spirit just as a kind word has positive effect.

Aussiedad profile image
Aussiedad

Hi,

Thanks for coming forward with your question/request ... everyone who gets cancer is likely to be depressed to some extent. My comment is made from an extensive background of a Degree with a Major in Psychology - includes Honours levels and I was a member of the Australian Psychological Society for many years ... I have lots of other strings to my bow because I've been doing courses at Uni since I was 17 until about 7 years ago - I'm a 76 year old spring chicken now and definitely and decidedly not out.

You'll find extensive entries elsewhere on this site where I go into my condition and treatment in depth.

Briefly I have had a radical prostatectomy followed by radiation of the bed of the prostate - (after 12 months on Zoladex ... long story but , essentially, it wasn't the normal procedure but after studies it is now standard procedure ... no credit to me!), followed by Lucrin 3 monthly injection (called by slightly different spellings in different countries - i'm in Oz) - at first intermittent to slow the rate at which your body ceases to respond i.e., resistance to the drug sets in and it doesn't work as well and eventually you have to go to extras and chemotherapy , I am now on continuous Lucrin ... Prost. op in 2003-4/

In the cancer medical centre at my hospital there is a sign up referring to Psycho Oncology Interview Room to which I strongly object. Everyone who gets cancer, as I wrote above, is likely to feel depressed ... Don't be! If you let yourself feel sorry for yourself you'll, as we say in Oz, Bugger yourself up by putting a downer on your immune system and cancer cells love that.

You've got cancer - so what - just make sure you get the best treatment and follow-up, remain positive, try to be really active, make sure your diet is balanced (get on to the Mediterranean range of foods), keep up your social life, take up some new interests AND the latest studies show that cruciferous vegetables really are a downer for cancer cells.

Cruciferous vegetables are vegetables of the family Brassicaceae (also called Cruciferae) with many genera, species, and cultivars being raised for food production such as cauliflower, cabbage, garden cress, bok choy, broccoli, brussels sprouts and similar dark green leaf vegetables. The family takes its alternate name (Cruciferae, New Latin for "cross-bearing") from the shape of their flowers, whose four petals resemble a cross.

Ten of the most common cruciferous vegetables eaten by people, known colloquially in North America as cole crops[1] and in the British Isles as "brassicas", are in a single species (Brassica oleracea); they are not distinguished from one another taxonomically, only by horticultural category of cultivar groups. Numerous other genera and species in the family are also edible.

Cruciferous vegetables are one of the dominant food crops worldwide.

They are high in vitamin C and soluble fibre and contain multiple nutrients and phytochemicals.... tuck into the Broccoli, Brussel Sprouts, Cauliflower etc., (don't overcook). The most complete extraction of the essential is to put the raw vegetables through an Archimedes screw type press - high speed juicers raise the temp pf the veges and decrease the goodness ... the taste will be very bitter but it's worse for the cancer cells!

Incidentally, just for good health try a couple of sticks of celery (no leaves - they're bitter), three or four carrots - skin and all (but scrub them), four (4) Granny Smith apples ... skin, stalks and all! - no other apple but a Granny Smith, a small portion of beetroot (raw, of course), a few centimetres of ginger (ginger knocks out bad bacteria in your system). Drink a large glass of the juices and in 5 minutes you'll have a sudden burst of energy and you'll feel great AND you'll have found that it's delicious!!! p.s. have the veges and fruit in the refrigerator beforehand.

Besides the treatment, medications, diet, JUICES, activity, social contacts, special interests, taking up new interests then try joining a group which has had prostate cancer and you'll find kindred souls.

ABOVE ALL - REMAIN POSITIVE AND LIVE IT UP ... YOU HAVE ONE LIFE ... MAKE THE MOST OF IT.

CHEERS, AUSSIEDAD

in reply to Aussiedad

Outstanding!!!!!!

Aussiedad profile image
Aussiedad

p.p.s. If your religious get with it and be involved ... prayer, meditation, yoga if you are that way inclined - I personally being a Catholic, go to Mass most days ...

If you are not religious there is plenty of good in the humanist approach where you look on the bright side of things and go with the flow.

Cheers, Aussiedad

in reply to Aussiedad

Important to keep faith in something other than ourselves. .One thing P C has taught me is that we are not in control of this world.We are just passing through.The plans of mice and men..Keep up the positive comments and keep the faith..

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to Aussiedad

I'm catholic as well but have really lost my faith. Too many unanswered prayers. Too many bad things happening to good people.

Bob

spm58 profile image
spm58 in reply to Break60

Don't give up faith bob. Job had a lot of patience!

Aussiedad profile image
Aussiedad

p.p.p.s. Doctors have tried a number of 'antidepressants' on me and my system reacts badly to all of them - I personally won't go near them. I spent quite a while on extended long service leave with a reputable pharmaceutical company - it was the Australian arm of Burroughs Wellcome which is a registered charity in England with all monies going to research and education - and had in depth training and development with all of their products and the rivals so I covered all antibiotics, heart treatments etc.

If Asprin (Acetylsalicylic Acid) were discovered today it probably wouldn't be released on the market - too toxic - yet you can buy any amount over the counter in chain stores!

No pharmaceutical company, or anyone else for that matter, can give you a rock solid assurance of all of the side effects of drugs. Top specialists will tell you that if you can possibly do without a particular drug then don't take it! No one knows the full side effects of drugs ... it's largely the reports of guinea pig patients in the development of the drug and the general public after the release of a drug who come up with knowledge of side effects - they experience them!

Cheers, Aussiedad

in reply to Aussiedad

Society is brainwashed by big pharma that there is a magic pill for almost everything..If there is not, there is another pill to help the first pill fulfill its promises..I'm on the test drug Tak..-700 . Who knows how that'll turn out for us guinea pigs..At this point I'm enjoying no visible signs..Due to whatever...I can't complain.Most of these A. D. T. Drugs have a failure date at some point..I hope this is helping me although for me all care is palliative.I feel good if my testing can help others in the future.They will continue finding new and better ways as soon as our government returns to funding research..We are in federal cutbacks to everything except military expenditures..

20PeteG16 profile image
20PeteG16

Carnet and my brothers of the Bonny Blue Ribbon,

Perfect timing for the question.

I am a spiritual person. That said my devotion for today is " Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul." Matthew 10:28

Yes diet, exercise, social engagement, sublime nuts are an answer. The health of your soul is also important for it to must be nourished and get constant exercise less you will to live shrivel and die before your earthy body. You are all old enough to know what works for you. Nature, of our Creator as i believe has empowered us with the tools, so many never open the tool box or close it because of cancer or for some other long forgotten reason. Open your tool box, just do it!

Peace,

PeteG

in reply to 20PeteG16

Very deep sentiments ,I like it a lot ,thanks !

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO

Hard to say how I am dealing with having Stage 4 cancer. Most days. I try to pretend that it is all a dream, even with all the wonderful side effects of surgery, radiation and Lupron. Weekends, when my wife is at work at her part time job are the hardest. Usually end up spending the day drinking beer and feeling sorry for myself. While I am still relatively active, I get depressed thinking of the things I can no longer do - at least not at the same level as before. The worst part is thinking about what I can do today but will not be able to do in the future. Thankfully the weekend is only two days out of the week.

What made it harder is that the cancer is a rare form that does not always raise your PSA. Some of my energies has been getting the doctors to recognize this fact (they never heard of Ductal Cancer). This has just been cleared up. Had a big meeting with the head radiologist and pathologist last week where the pathologist stated up to 30% of the cancer cells taken from a lymth node slide did not stain for PSA, and that it may be more agressive than "normal" cancer. Now they recognize that we can not rely on just PSA. While this gave me a since of victory is was short lived - they do not have a good way to track the PSA negative cancer.

Well it is the weekend. Time for the first beer.

in reply to Dr_WHO

I have some of those same thoughts, frustration about not funtioning as before ,I'm sure we all do. Enjoy what we can and appreciate what we still have.Thanks for your comments..

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to Dr_WHO

How was your ductal PCa found? At pathology?

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO in reply to Break60

It was suspected with the biopsy and confirmed with the pathology report. They think I had cancer for years before it was finally found by a digital exam. By that time it was found it was already advanced Stage four. Before then I had 17 years of negative digital and seven years of negative PSA tests. No warning.

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to Dr_WHO

So if ductal wasn't mentioned in the post RP path report from Epstein at JH I don't have it correct? Is that the only type of PCa that doesn't emit PSA? My recent monthly test was 1.3 , up from 1.1 a month earlier. I'm hoping that's good news.

Bob

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO in reply to Break60

You could/should discuss this with your oncologist but the fact that it was not described in the path. report is in your favor. The good news for you is that Ductal cancer is very rare, effecting less than 0.4% of prostate cancer cases. There are other forms of prostate cancer do not raise your PSA. The other big one is small cell, which is even more agressive than Ductal. Both very rare.

Please note that even "normal" prostate cancer undergoes mutations. After a while it could mutate to the point that it no longer is recognizable as prostate cancer. At that point it not be detectable by PSA tests. That is why I think it is so critical to hit the cancer as hard as you can at the beginning of treatment. (Note, not everyone agrees with this point.)

All that said, at this point l do not think you have worry about these rare cancers. I would definitely meet with your oncologist to discuss the slight increase in your PSA, if for no other reason than to draw up a battle plan in case it continues to do up.

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to Dr_WHO

Thanks. Right now we're waiting to see if psa hits 2.0 before getting an axumin scan. And I'm on dutasteride, finasteride, metformin, cabergoline, rosuvastatin and celecoxib.

Dr_WHO profile image
Dr_WHO in reply to Break60

Sounds like you have better doctors than me!

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

I'm like an ostrich I bury my head in the sand.... until my next visit with my oncologist...

I won't let this disease take over my life... Everyone eventually will go to the big comedy store in the sky so why keep thinking about it. My main hobby is humor and I try to laugh my ass off every minute of the day. (BTW don't forget what today is).

j-o-h-n Saturday 04/01/2017 11:47 AM EST

in reply to j-o-h-n

"The big comedy store in the sky" need to hear more from ya, j-o-h-n

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to

Well Lulu,

Like the husband who said to his wife on their second honeymoon, "I'll Try, I'll Try".

j-o-h-n Saturday 04/01/2017 9:28 PM EST

in reply to j-o-h-n

I'll try ,I'll try,,I say that to my new bride every day..we are newly wed ,2nd anniversary in 2 days.We wed after this bad diagnosis.20 yrs of grief in only 2. So trying doesn't get it done Just do it..The horse comes into the bar and the bar tender ask"Why such the long face"? with P. C. , we are the horse we don't know why we have the long face we just do.

herb1 profile image
herb1

Beautiful answers, but I'd like to raise a different spin: Are we/you really depressed or are you frustrated and angered by the inadequacy of treatment (good or bad)?

herb

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to herb1

He's talking about when you know your time is pretty short. I've coped very well, but I'm certainly interested in what guys have added to their coping mechanisms when they reached that point.

CBurnett profile image
CBurnett in reply to herb1

As many of you know my posts are for my dad. He will get round 6 of chemo this coming week. Last round kicked his ass- fainting, dizzy, low O2, low BP, couldn't walk, mouth ulcers, etc. He was/is feeling completely defeated. He's sad, frustrated, cries often, he just does not know what or how to deal with emotions. He knows he should be positive and keep hope and prays all night long, but.... it's just not enough. Thanks for all your feedback.

in reply to CBurnett

It is brutal being where he's at .Ive been there..The emotional swings can be overwhelming.It has nothing to do with rational thinking or just controllable emotions.It is tremendous.Very hard for others to understand the strength on no hormones in the system but also faced with you mind and body slipping out of your control on a daily basis.Hopefully it will ebb and he can retrieve some peace of mind. In the mean time you will see the phycological effects of P. C .Even for bystanders a hard thing to witness..Good luck ,stay strong,things can get better,but nothing comes easy.

in reply to herb1

I've experienced all of the above.Frustration turning into anger at my self for my own inadequacy or inability to just pop back to perfect health and the image of my self that I heald so dearly. Thought I was invincible. .Can't be mad however,because in my case there was a rough start but after that I owe my life and being here1st to the love of my wife but also to every person who has assisted me through many surgeries and treatments that most of us have received. 50 yrs ago they didn't do these procedures,and I wouldn't be here..I'm grateful to the many hands that have worked to heal me..

Mags65 profile image
Mags65

So pleased to hear that a lot of you have positive attitudes toward APC, my story is my father, 85, just last week diagnosed with this horrible disease, he's been a hard working man all his working years (14-65) he retired and enjoyed his life, he has arthritis in knees and spine and hips so his mobility is limited and has been getting worse over the last 4 years. How he is dealing with this diagnosis I have no idea really, how can I help him mentally and keep his spirits up? He wouldn't join a group as talking is not something he has ever been big on, exercise is something he can not do due to pain with lower half of body. I'm worried he may well sit back and give in, yes I heard he's had a good innings at his age what do I expect for him?survival rate, dearly would want him to enjoy whatever he has left but so scared this monster of disease will eat at him daily and he will suffer badly, trying to come to terms with this is so difficult as my best friend my mother, his wife of 59 years, passed 4 years ago, truthfully not got over that shock either, she would know how to help him with us behind her.

Well I wish you all peace and positivity for the future we don't yet know xx

God bless all xx

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to Mags65

Can he walk? Walking is very good for health & mood. The endorphins fight cancer. It sounds like he could do upper body exercises, & that would be very good too. He should see a physical therapist to help him come up with an exercise program that will not only help his general health & mood, but also help alleviate the lower body pain. He may need you to encourage him into doing this, & perhaps go with him for the first appointment, but please make sure he does this. Best wishes.

Mags65 profile image
Mags65 in reply to Neal-Snyder

Thank you, will sort out physio for him, unfortunately his mobility is short, he has suffered badly over the last couple of years with back pain and hips, he says arthritis, I'm now thinking something along the lines of the cancer spreading, we will know soon enough as we have bone scan on Monday. I'm with him all the way, every appt etc that is coming our way, trust me I do take the lead and show him my strong side and positivity, just when I'm alone I'm a blubbering wreck, anyway thanks for taking time to reply and wish you the best for the "today's" you will have xx

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to Mags65

I truly applaud you for the essential role you're playing for him.

Walking is well known to RELIEVE arthritis. I have 2 bad knees, & walking definitely helps. I must admit it didn't work for my bad ankle, so I'm wearing a prescription Arizona brace to allow it to heal. Before I got it, riding a stationary bike was a better idea, because it didn't cause added ankle pain.

If there's 1 thing I hear over & over from PTs, acupuncturists, massage therapists doctors & nurses, it's "Keep moving!" Xx

Mags65 profile image
Mags65 in reply to Neal-Snyder

Thanks again, will think of the stationary bike, you take care xx

in reply to Mags65

Better yet not to sit, but get or use an elíptico or an elliptical trainer.For me better than a bike seat..

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

Yes, I've read that. So far, I've been afraid to check what they cost.

in reply to Neal-Snyder

Home elliptical can be pickedup fairly cheap on Craigslist They are many..The motivation to use it can be the tuff part..With proper motivation anything is possible.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

Thanks Lulu for the helpful info. Sounds like you're very motivated!

in reply to Neal-Snyder

At least attempting to be positive. Self motivation is tougher to me than motivating others.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

Same here. I loved going out & playing basketball at my house for years, so that had the motivation built in. But I'm too banged up for that, & it's not easy to get going on alternative exercises.

in reply to Neal-Snyder

I don't know about you.But for me having 0 testosteronemakes finding energy and drive and stamina at time difficult..

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

And then there's aging. But aside from my many years of eagerly shooting hoops, I've always found it hard to get started on any kind of exercise, but not as hard to keep going, at least until an interruption of some kind.

in reply to

Some one to prod you and join you is helpful.My gorgeous wife is on me to exercise..We hike a lot more because she needs it as much as I do .Otherwise I'd be far less motivated.,and IV worked out most of my life.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to Mags65

Please take care of yourself, too! Some of the ideas people have raised here could very well help YOU.

in reply to Mags65

He has several serious issues..Make sure to take care of yourself and understand that many things we have no control over.Even if we think we do You must remain healthy yourself if you want to help him..caregivers and family must not let themselves go down too.

Mags65 profile image
Mags65 in reply to

Thank you for that, control is in others hands at present, in hands I trust also, any care or treatment my dad receives will be a blessing, xx

herb1 profile image
herb1 in reply to Mags65

Mags65: Good answers, all. But has anyone asked your dad what HE wants to do? HAVE YOU HAD A TALK WITH YOUR DAD? Yes, his answer needs to be interpreted in the light of possible depression, but come on, bring HIM in to the discussion. Maybe the right answer for him IS hospice, maybe it's not. Maybe he wants to go to Grand Canyon...or eat ice cream all day. Find out. At 85, it's his decision. By the way, I'm 81 so it does color my reply. Good luck to your father AND you...and the rest of us.

in reply to herb1

Bring him to the discussion .Good luck to you.You caring and compassion is a source of strength to him. Keep it up !

Mags65 profile image
Mags65 in reply to herb1

Thank you, have started to talk him about things and have made it clear whatever he wants he will get, I'm certain he is overwhelmed at the moment as every thing over two weeks is fast paced, but now he's had his body scan so wait for the results, with him daily and making sure he's ok. I will get through this with strength and pride for him as he's my hero, again thanks or replying and thanks for a fantastic site with amazing people xx Many wishes and hugs to all,xx

in reply to Mags65

My mom is soon to be 90,still driving, my prayer for her is not to suffer terribly. None of us want that.Good son to care..

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to Mags65

I spend probably an hour or more per day on sites like this . It helps to know you're not alone and it helps to hopefully help others . I've had RP, SRT, RT to pelvic nodes, HT twice , now on holiday. I've never had symptoms just SEs of treatments. I dread becoming symptomatic. I drink to escape. My wife is an alcoholic which means no support from her when she's off the wagon , just yak, yak , yak about how many jerks there are in the world. Depressing as hell. Im not looking for sympathy just serenity!! Shit here comes another hot flash....

Bob

herb1 profile image
herb1 in reply to Break60

Bob, have you tried megace or deproprevera (sp?) for the hot flashes? It's worth the try to eliminate/reduce this annoynance!

herb s

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to herb1

I was using estradiol patches twice weekly while on ADT but stopped when HT stopped. I'm back to using them hoping they start to work again. Tried megace but it didn't work. My RO says symptoms last for one month for every month you're on ADT! Stuff really sucks! The bane of our existence. At least the fatigue, muscle weakness, weight gain and joint pain went away fairly quickly. Thanks.

Bob

Scruffybut1 profile image
Scruffybut1 in reply to Mags65

One of the biggest motivators for me has been the wonderful women, both wives and daughters, who can ask here what the father or husband cannot. You are in that class! Keep asking advice for him. All men on this forum are going through variations of your dad's PCa and will be happy to help from our own ongoing experiences.

Hi C,

I went to see my PCP about severe headaches that I was having. She picked up on the problem and put me on Cymbalta. I had no idea it was an antidepressant at the time. But it was a life changer for me.

Joe

in reply to

It helped?

in reply to

Absolutely. The headaches I had were more like a migraine with shooting pain up the sides of my head and neck. I've been taking it for about five years or so, with no issues. I say issues because my pcp keeps asking me if I'm OK with it.

in reply to

That's great!

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

I'm happy that it worked for you, Joe!

Neal

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to

I've been on cymbalta (duloxetine) for 15 years..... wonder drug!!!! I could not have faced my PCa without it!!!

in reply to Break60

I agree. But I think it may come with a stigma since it is an antidepressant. But I say I wasn't depressed. So be it.

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to

Screw the " stigma"! I did suffer from depression and anxiety and tried a number of treatments for 15 years before finding cymbalta. That's the one that finally worked. But I also retired at age 54 leaving a high stress job. That surely was also a factor. Now I have the stress of stage 4 gl9 PCa but I'm handling it!

It is a tough, tough situation to deal with. In a perverse kind of way I was lucky. I had a horrible childhood which left me depressed for years. I got extensive counseling and offloaded a lot of anger and grief. Having shed that baggage I seem better able to cope. I hope you find the support you need.

in reply to

You r a survivor !

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

I won't call you lucky, but I will call you a person who survived, sought treatment, & came out the other side with strong coping abilities. Well done!

in reply to Neal-Snyder

Thanks Neal.

From my initial diagnosis in 2004 right up through my most recent chemo infusion this week, I've been far too busy to get depressed about this stupid disease. It has simply been another item on my To Do list. $#!+ happens and ya deal with it. Here are some of the steps I took to "deal with it":

1. I realized in my mid 40s that I may actually die someday, so I

2. Walked away from my career, moved to the top windsurfing spot in North America and went windsurfing. It has dominated my life now for the past 29 years. I'm in way too much ecstasy to have time to get depressed.

3. When it's not windy, I study PC and its treatment options. Thousands of calm hours devoted to that research later, several oncologists have told me I know more about it than most general physicians and many oncologists. That knowledge has vastly empowered me against both idiot doctors and my disease.

4. A windsurfing buddy older than I, upon hearing that my ADT and/or chemo may end my windsurfing for good, told me I've had so much damned fun in my life that I should to just skip the treatments, put in another year of unbearable fun, and die. Having that as a fallback option if ADT or chemo gets too onerous is in itself empowering. The plan is 5 months of chemo embedded in 13 months of ADT, and so far, early in that plan, I have noticed no SEs. I'm just waiting to see which appears first ... warmer air and water or too much fatigue to play that hard. The race is on.

5. And I almost forgot: I chose a cutting edge PC specialist who is getting better results than most of his peers with less onerous treatment protocols. He's the guy many top medical oncologists send their terminal cases to, and he has kept some of them playing soccer or tennis for decades after they had been given a year to live by those oncologists at prestigious national cancer centers.

I'm very curious to see how all this plays out, but I hadn't even thought of getting depressed about it. I've played hard on some toy or ball field or court or waves or another most days of my life, so I'm already WAY ahead in the game of life. That came naturally throughout my first 45 years, and turned into a plan the next 29 and ... I hope ... counting.

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to

Sounds like a great way to stay busy, I like your attitude. I am curious where the best windsurfing spot is, I know in Europe it is Tarifa

Dan

in reply to Dan59

The Columbia River Gorge, which divides Washington from Oregon. It is world famous (among windsurfers) for blowing hard (20-40 kts average plus much higher gusts) a few days a week, producing waves up to 10 feet high on the big days.

Dan59 profile image
Dan59 in reply to Dan59

Ah Yes, I have seen the windsurfing that goes on in CRG, looked like awesome fun. In my younger days, I had spent some time in Bend and been through the CRG , It is certainly beautiful country. I am in upstate NY now, Adirondack area.

CBurnett profile image
CBurnett in reply to

Now I am curious to what treatment method you PC specialist uses??

in reply to CBurnett

Google Leibowitz three-pronged protocol. Be ready to devote 2-3 full days to studying his MANY videos and papers. He uses FDA- and Medicare-approved drugs in highly-customized blends that greatly reduce side effects and improves outcomes. Ultimately, with selected patients, he will TREAT some of his PC patients with very high levels of testosterone, keeping serum T in the 1,000 to 3,000 range with phenomenal results. You might say he's patient-oriented; my first consult with him began just after 6:00 PM and ended after 3:00 AM, he has had me scanned for absolutely ANY conditions that may influence treatment (at my home hospital; he didn't make a cent off of that), he tests several dozen blood markers at the beginning of each month in case he needs to tweak my meds, and a major goal of his is minimizing SEs ... unlike the big-name institutions I consulted who just prescribed Ye Olde Knee-Jerk Lupron, Taxotere, and Prednisone.

Neal-Snyder profile image
Neal-Snyder in reply to

That's very impressive!

Would you mind naming your PC specialist? I'd appreciate it. Thank you.

motosue profile image
motosue in reply to Neal-Snyder

I was wondering who his specialist was too.

podsart profile image
podsart in reply to

Interesting; may I ask who this doc is?

Good luck

Break60 profile image
Break60 in reply to

Please! Who is this PCa specialist??

herb1 profile image
herb1 in reply to

It's---baack: I used your story to try to goose my son-doesn't have PCa, but does have depression. His comment was how did you, as a 45 yr-er feed your family after you left your job and started windsurfing? Is there a big demand for senior professional windsurfers like you've become :-) :-) >>>???

Recall from the past: guy who did what you did, but went into wild animal training. Did end up with his head in the lion's mouth in center ring of Ringling-Brothers Circus in NYC. Gonna get the book for my boy if not out of print.

Herb s.

in reply to herb1

Military pension + engineer wife + spending less than we earned + no kids + determination + living away from big expensive cities. As for the pro windsurfing ... what I got paid didn't leave enough after expenses to feed the dog, but it did allow me to legitimately write off all my windsurfing travel expenses for about four years to some great places including the Grand Caymans, Maui, and the Gorge before I moved there. But even while fully employed, I still MADE time to race dirt bikes and snowmobiles, windsurf, ski, and/or snowboard most evenings after work.

Just one example of how I did that was my successful, one-man, very noisy, public tirade to prevent the Utah legislature from ending daylight savings time. I still laugh when think about my call to the State House during deliberations and was told my efforts had produced the highest number of calls on any issue in state history. Better yet, I did all that while bed-ridden with a back broken on a snowmobile after work one evening. Easy to say and entirely inapprpriate to say if his depression is primarily medical, but just in case it's self-induced, tell your son to take charge of his life, quit moping, and find something that turns him on to the extent he hasn't TIME to get depressed.

herb1 profile image
herb1 in reply to

You did better than I expected-you did have a wife, and you did make a few bucks from your fun. I haven't been able to convince him to do just that. Plus he does have non-working wife and two college age daughters to support--and that seems to drive him crazy! Oh, the dog died last year!

thanks alot. I promised I'd pass on your secrets to him :-)

herb S.

in reply to herb1

Certainly the kids make a huge difference, but any hypothetical kid of mine who even wants to go to spring break has FAR too much time on his hands to be going to college on MY dime, and my wife loved her career. OTOH, this figure we keep hearing of $250,000 per kid from birth through high school is obviously fictional or at least purely voluntary simply because most people don't even take home that much if they have two or three kids.

Losing a dog is tough. We've always kept two, and when it's best for them, we have the vet put them to sleep while eating ice cream (the dog, not us). Their dying happy eases our burden. I hope I can find something that tasty to put my final pills into.

herb1 profile image
herb1 in reply to

good thoughts, thanks. Son is trying to figure how to get his wife working cost-effectively (it won't happen!).

hs

in reply to herb1

Damm ,That's a tuff road. Losing the dog..

You have a strong will and spirit...

in reply to

Yes. It has cost me some friends, a promotion in the military, and the support of my long-time urological oncologist, but none of those was worth sacrificing my countless successes and principles over.

in reply to

That's integrity!

in reply to

Just think what it leaves me thinking of most politicians (and many people in general)!

podsart profile image
podsart

So glad you brought this up. Seemed to me others were so mentally strong and just focused on the organic med side. Depression and anxiety seemed to be a taboo topic

If someone has a strong spirituality side they are greatly helped I think, especially regarding the existential aspects of Pca

I am not brave or unfortunately not an innately spiritual/religious person. This I think is something you truly need to believe in ,not just an intellectual concept you agree with, in order to be effective

As a result, I tried to mobilize all other resources to help: psychotherapy, antidepressants, anti anxiety Meds, meditation, and hypnotherapy. It helps, of course can't remove the problem

Interesting regarding conversations here regarding marijuana

As a former psychotherapist and drug counselor, I am having trouble re using marijuana as a psychotropic med beyond important for pain reduction. I would like to learn more

in reply to podsart

Very recently published marijuana research shows that it strongly and very directly fights many kinds of cancer. Its beneficial effects on pain help both directly and in reducing our need for opioids, among several benefits such as increasing apoptosis. For starters, Google medical marijuana integrative oncology essentials. Dr. Lawenda (a highly regarded radiation oncologist) has patients all over the world, and has used MM to give years of relief to patients with the most quickly and universally terminal cancers known, such as glioblastoma ... aka The Terminator. I haven't had time to read them yet, but I have a few books written by doctors specializing in MM and hope to read them and initiate MM soon purely for their anti-cancer properties (for many reasons, I have never gotten near any recreational drugs.)

in reply to

My wife says " Thank you!" Because that's what she believes in..I believe this too! I've had a good experience with it..

in reply to podsart

M. M. May not be easily liked or even tolerable for many people. Many due to the potency in most forms. It helps me by breaking up some of the monotamy of a mondane life..For me I'm believing in the medical benefits in hope that it will kill cancer and prevent it from returning..It is very strong in fact to start the Rick Simpson plan.60 grams in 90 days .Just a pin head of the R. S. Oil will level you at first..Then slowly ramp up until in the end doing 1-2grams per day.. But you build a tolerance to the Thc..

podsart profile image
podsart

Thanks

Also when at first you almost die ,then told that you have only So many short years to live.Then,treatments and side effects of treatments and surgeries.Yes I started med-marijuana and feel it is influential in my good mental Heath..Do I get stoned or high.Oh yah if you do more than you should you might not go to school that day. But generally for me it is helping calm the mood swigs and negative feeling of dread or remorse..It let's me forget about those things .Even be it temporary. So any relief from just dwelling on fighting some terminal disease .I'll take it..So " Yes " try it if you are suffering .If you don't like it ..That's that.!!

That's not's what medical marijuana is for. If one is getting enough THC to get high, that's getting into pure escapism or even simple recreation. Some THC, but not enough to get high, is necessary for certain anti-cancer and anti-SE effects. It might be argued that escapism is medical in nature, but by that metric so are most psychotropic drugs even if they don't fight cancer like many medicines do.

ctarleton profile image
ctarleton

My wife and I attend a weekly local cancer support group, facilitated by a local area physician who has specialized in running groups for advanced cancer patients and their close family relatives for many years. Having that frequent ability to express one's deeper feelings and experiences, and to listen to similar life stories from others really, really helps. Some participants attend for years, and others may come and go, with cancers ranging from newly diagnosed to seriously progressing to death. Afterwards, a surviving spouse/caregiver may sometimes choose to keep coming for a while, too. The whole gamut of cancer-related subjects can come up. Some of it may be medical or treatment related, but much of it is also in the personal, psycho/social realm of fears, emotions, coping, asking for and giving support, and just being in the presence of other people who "get it". If you can find this level of support, I'd highly recommend it. Ask around at local cancer centers and hospitals to see if something comparable is available near you, as a caregiver, whether or not you attend with your loved one/patient or not.

For Caregivers in Canada, this is a good starting point to explore, or to re-explore, as things get more complicated:

cancer.ca/en/cancer-informa...

Charles

miki23 profile image
miki23

find a cannabis high in CBN make cookies or brownies and slowly experiment to find the right dose for you. for myself it has eliminated any type depression negativity, sulking, etc. I know longer use any painkillers cause it changes my perspective of the pain and seems to dull it. it gives me a great amount of energy, I am active 18 hrs/ day. do not smoke it, eat it only we are not trying to get high we just to feel good. I have been using 5 year old hash powder baked into brownies (old is better cause a lot of THC has been converted to CBN and cooking it as well converts it) spend your time doing things you love, discover, the beauty in life through doing, learning and being mindfull, don't believe your thoughts and crazy stuff your brain comes up with. be as alive and in the moment as you can be NOW.

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