Brain Won't Stop

[MorningDanceTrece]

Trigger Warning ⚠️

Extremely annoying.BEYOND annoying actually.

So someone über important to me responded to a text I had sent that definitely required an entire conversation not just one measley one sentence response.

I texted him back -- *crickets*.

I waited a while then texted him back -- *crickets*.

I texted and asked if he is ok -- MORE BLEEDING CRICKETS!!!

I waited a bit then called.

No answer.

So now my oh so special brain is OBSESSING!!!

"He's had a car crash because he was texting ME ."

"He's lying somewhere dead because he was texting ME while driving."

"He's perfectly fine and you're being unutterably daft!"

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH"

Like a mutant offspring of Charlie Brown and Edward Munch's 'The Scream'.

EDIT:

He didn't have a crash.

He didn't explain why he did that.

I did send a text as carefully worded as I was able to do explaining that if he doesn't have time to get into a full conversation to maybe refrain from sending a text at all instead of seemingly starting to engage in a conversation and then disappearing into outer space.

I hope he really has done as much work on his anger issues as he claims he has and that he's as significantly calmer as he claims he is.

Cuz if he gets angry at me for being anxious and paranoid which I can't really help although I do try then my anxiety and paranoia will have rejection sensitivity dysphoria added to it and that will be a really stinky and uncomfortable place to be😣

Second EDIT:

Adult child he is 38.

We ended up having a long text conversation in which everything got straightened out and we came up with a solution that will work for both of us.

I really appreciate having this place to discuss / make a post / get support while I was sketching out.

Thank you very much everyone

🧡🕊️🎸👍🏻

[wtfadhd]

Without knowing the relationship of this important person its really hard to provide any support

there us a big difference if this is a grandchild, or adult child vs a lover, or coworker etc.

either way- a great rule of life is to not use the convenience of texting to communicate impt FEELINGS or impt thoughts. its just a bad idea!!!! Especially for those of us who struggle with regulating emotions to begin with. we are just setting ourselves up to become unhinged when we try to use texting as a means to express big emotions and desire to engage in a heartfelt convo with someone.

😥

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to wtfadhd]

Thank you for your response.

What does "impt" mean please?

I hear and understand and agree with what you are saying about not using texting to communicate BIG feelings and BIG thoughts however it's not always possible to do that because sometimes you start with something you don't realize the results of which is going to be big feelings and big thoughts and you're already in the middle of a text.

What are you supposed to do say oh hold on let's switch to email now?

That doesn't work if the other person doesn't have the time or interest in doing so (or having a phone conversation).

It wouldn't work for a couple few other reasons of which I can think also.

But I do still appreciate your feedback.

✌🏻

[wtfadhd in reply to MorningDanceTrece]

impt is an abbreviation for important

when u find yourself having big emotions via text- yes, stop yourself. delete immediately!!! do not send high emotion texts. it will not benefit you. and no, i dont mean switch to email which is an almost as ineffective way to communicate important feelings.

this person is making it clear that they do not want to text you back, nor talk to you on the phone right now😬

that sucks, i think we have all been there it really does suck

but continuing to try to engage someone in a conversation when they do not want to speak to u is non productive and likely to damage your own mental well being💔

[MorningDanceTrece in reply to wtfadhd]

Thank you very much for clarifying the abbreviation.

Actually with this particular relationship emails are often a better way to try to communicate than on the phone and we only get to see each other once or twice a month now which is better than it was for years because he was on the other side of the stupid country because of his stupid selfish immature ex-wife who thankfully lost her mind and divorced him.

So we he and I already have an agreement that if whatever I'm going to say is longer than a couple few sentences it will be an email not a text.

We also have an agreement that if something's going to be heavy or heated or whatnot we do do it via email [first] not on the phone or in person so that we have time to reread the email a couple of times before we send it and make sure it's not saying something jerky or stupid that needs to be left unsaid and the person receiving it can get upset and yell and scream at the phone or the computer and get it all out of his or her system and then send a response email that's not inappropriate.

So what happened is we had one of those generational miscommunication things because he's a millennial and I'm generation X and we text differently.

There's no such thing as a beginning and end of a text conversation technically.

Text conversations end when one of the person dies it turns out.

So I was thinking we had started a conversation and we were going to go back and forth until the topic was finished but for him it was something else so we got it all straightened out and I understand now and it's totally cool.

🕊️🎶