My condition has now started impacting my ability to do my job. I’ve been with same company for nearly 20 years and I’m now panicked. There are days I just can’t get myself to get everything done. My relationship with my boss went from bad to worse to the point of asking and will be getting a new manager next month but need to know how and what accommodations I can ask for.
I also fear retribution and being blacklisted well ensue if not already began.
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ImTheDude
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Maybe it's time to move on to a new job. Having everything fresh and new with new challenges can be great for the ADHD brain. My guess is if you have already been working there for 20 years, you have already set a presedence of not needing any special accommodations. But if you do need accommodations, only you know what ones will help, and you can ask your boss about those. I probably wouldn't say I have ADHD and need accommodations though. I would say these are the specific things I struggle with, but if I could have XY and Z, that would increase my productivity.
Excellent replies above. Without knowing your specific issues Dude. I will just add asking for patience if needing to hear instructions again because of memory issues, etc. And I have learned how to welcome feedback without being combative and that has taken me an unfortunate lifetime to learn. Kudos to you for clocking 20 years with this condition - gives me hope!
It's kind of hard to suggest any accommadations when we don't know what you actually do. My son for instance worked at a major company/ warehouse. He actually needed an extra 15 minute break when he got overwhelmed. He didn't need it every day, but it helped when he did need it and it was an easy accommadation to get.
You can google specific accommadations for ADHD- or look into Job accommadation network.
Like you, I my career was in a downward spiral (starting about two years ago). It was hard to even know what to ask for.While I'm not "out" about having ADHD at work, I finally talk to my boss that I was having a hard time and needed his help by having weekly touchbases to go over progress on my projects. This gave me weekly deadlines (reporting to him) and it's helping to course correct if I need.
thanks everyone for your replies…….I’ve managed it without realizing I had it for many years, just thought I was easily distracted. Up until 5 years ago my work environment changed to having an overbearing, critical/negative of everything, micromanaging boss. This triggered me to be very defensive, combative to the point I now spend more time worrying and defending myself to the point of having a complete breakdown in 2020 and then again this year. It was the largest lightbulb that went off that through counseling I realized my disability. I wear my self out always being on guard, still feel like anything I do is wrong or will be told it is to the point I have exhausted all my paid leave from using intermittent FMLA. I just don’t know how to be successful at what I always was before minus missing deadlines here and there and avoiding distracting environments without realizing why. It pains me to consider moving elsewhere after giving 20 years to something and the “it’s principle” in me doesn’t want me to give up. I do counseling weekly, on medications but still feel like I can’t manage it much longer…… afraid and struggling while being the main bread winner to my family.
Again I can so relate. My downward spiral happened when I was facing being the sole provider as my wife's company was going belly up. My depression and anxiety exploded and my job performance nosed dived. Added my boss was on an extended leave. Ugly times.A lot of therapy pulled me out of the depression, but I was struggling to rebuild my career - I did a lot of damage during the dark times. Then I was diagnosed with ADHD and suddenly 58 years of my life made sense.
I'm still rebuilding and learning how to manage my ADHD- especially when it comes to work. I hired an ADHD coach and have been learning new skills and approaches (such as the Pomadoro technique). I feel little by little I'm making progress.
But biggest change has come from working on the fears, anxieties, and "should be's" I place on myself. I've taken the exit route of thinking of advancement, titles, and such focusing more on the present and what I need to do now. Again, it's a journey and I'm becoming comfortable with just taking small steps.
One final thing, micro managers are the worse. I don't know if it's connected to ADHD, but like you, it can bring out some negative behavior and thoughts when I'm in that position.
I just got here, and this is the exact place I am at, right down to being in my 50's, (dx at 50 years old). I'm just beginning this journey, and the only thing I've been doing for the last week of PTO (paid time off) is using our gift of hyper-focusing, and our curse of running down rabbit trails. RSD/GAD/DEP/BPD/OCD...it's a lot to juggle, especially in a senior-level career position. No help for you from me, sorry. I'm here for the others' answers. I sure hope you (and consequently, I) get some helpful replies. I'll be watching.
Thanks for posting this.
Edit: Okay, I going to chime in a bit more here. Quick back story. I work in cybersecurity (professional nerd). I'm sitting in a meeting in DC and someone I respect a lot professionally starts the group meeting with "I'm going to cover five things you need to know. First, [great insightful brilliant point number one]." Me: [thinking, "Awesome...that's going to help business a lot."] Him: "Second, [more brilliance, building on point one]." Me: [thinking, "Makes total sense! That means we can [forms pretty good ideas, plots plan]." Him: "And finally, fifth, ..." Me: [thinking, "What The Actual redacted, very long string of tragically inappropriate military words happened to points three and four?!?!?!" Called my doc, got an appointment, and had my diagnosis that day.
I did get to be one of the first winners of the first round of lay offs at that company. Yay! My next gig (full of neurodiverse people) was a lot better from an accepting point of view. I've moved on and in the same situation as you now. I have "come out" to my boss (he's NT) and he tries to understand, but doesn't...especially with MBO projects and their deadlines.
I can't speak to your org's culture, especially in HR, but you could start there. I'm working up the guts (I'm 55, been around the block a lot...what the heck?) to bring it up officially. I, we, even have the ADA on our side. Go figure...it turns out I have trouble initiating things. Like an old dude like me needs "E-D" on my record. Yeah, I snicker every time I abbreviate "Executive Dysfunction" too.
I know this is a little old, but I wanted to add that the accommodation process is just that, a process. Ideally you would be touching base with HR to update them on what is and is not working for you, accomodations wise.
What works for someone can really depend on their personal situation and how ADHD is affecting them. Also, seconding the JAN website for ideas. I personally use a wrist watch with a huge screen that I can set a timer on, it also has the date including the day of the week on it.
I also use noise cancelling headphones to help with distraction. But I would just ask for what you need and try to be honest with your boss. That you want to have a good working relationship with them and that you're asking for these things because you want to work it out and continue with the company you've built a long term relationship with. But your mileage may vary, I hope this gives you some ideas/comfort.
I have worked for my organization for 37 + years. I am also effected by my ADHD/Anxiety disorder. I have contacted my disability department and registered. I have also contact my workplace accomodations department for any accomodations I need. My biggest hang up is getting to work on time. My new boss was also diagnosed with ADHD this past year, so I am hoping she can understand at some point. ADHD is under the ADA so you are protected with that. It is frustrating when you try to do your best and yet it never is good enough and everyone lablels you and brings you down. But life is too short to have people bother me with it all. I have been by myself for a long time. If it is so that I be that way, so be it. I have had people who have read about ADHD, but threw it back in my face. Hang in there! You are not alone in feeling what you feel. Good Luck!!
Your new boss will understand completely, however, if a big part of your job is to be present during certain hours, that should be your priority. If your job is performance related, then your hours worked is less important. So it's really important to understand how your are measured.
BTW, not getting to work on time is not really a symptom of ADHD. That's a symptom of depression, so you might want to see about that.
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