Anyone with relationship problems? Female I’m my thirties

[anonymousADD]

What can I do? Is it my fault?

[BTV65]

Um... Is what your fault? You didn't provide any information.

[Hyperasfugggg44]

I’m going to assume you’re doing something wacky that’s creating issues in a relationship or you’re doing something self sabotaging in your dating life. Been there, done that.

People will say it’s not your fault but we can only control ourselves.

To control mental illness or chemical imbalances or… whatever your thing is, you need to step back and ask yourself “what does a good healthy relationship look like.

Am I exhibiting behaviors that would bring me that ideal relationship?

If the answer is No, then you may want to write down what isn’t working and examples of actions or reactions you have done to create a sticky relationship.

Even if you are with crappy people, step back and think, why do I keep choosing these people.

Patterns are opportunities for growth.

Good luck!

[Hidden]

I had problems in my first marriage in my 20’s because I was not ready for that relationship. I had a LOT of damage from multiple traumas that weren’t dealt with. My advice is to INVEST in your health and your future by dealing with anything that hasn’t been looked at! Your inner growth will be invaluable someday when you are ready, and meet the right person. You want someone who is stable, kind, well balanced, loving, etc. You can’t possibly make a long term relationship work well when you haven’t “worked on you”. I can invest in my husband’s life because I’m strong now. Marriage is about selflessness, not being in a state of always “needing”. That is draining. You want someone to add to your life, not take away from it by consuming what they lack! I am in a very good relationship because we are intentional about talking, listening, sharing things that are joyous… It is work. If you are healthy, and can give of yourself to your spouse willingly, it isn’t hard work. You DO need to put others before yourself at times. If you have painful unresolved issues, it can’t be easily done. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Success comes with preparing, knowing, and having a willing heart. I truly hope that you will care for yourself first.

[BI1014]

31 and just diagnosed about 5 months ago. Step is to get diagnosed and get on meds. Once you do that, read all the books and watch all the YouTube channels on ADHD as you can. It's crazy how much I thought was just my quirkiness was actually ADHD. If you put the effort into understanding yourself better, it will get better for both of you. Unless he's just an ass.