RSD: What are the symptoms of RSD... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

Do you take criticism badly? If someone says 'don't do it like that, do it like this' do those words rattle around in your head all night, making you want to write am essay-length email or internet post about why that person was totally wrong? Does criticism feel like a bone-deep insult to you?

I can accept that I might be wrong where others are right, but it always feels like they're calling me stupid for being wrong. Thankfully I am 37-years old, I have lived with RSD for a very long time, and I understand that people are (usually) not calling me stupid when they're simply giving me information. I have learned to modify my thoughts and behavior to be reasonable. But it still feels like they are calling me stupid for being wrong.

So, 'how could I have known that?' Is the constant refrain. I find myself defending my ignorance, defending my reasoning for thinking the way I do. It comes off as me being stubborn, like I am arguing that I am right when I am clearly wrong. But right and wrong are not important; I am arguing that even if I am wrong, my thinking was right, so I am not stupid for being wrong.

Of course, if no one was calling me stupid, then that behavior is totally mystifying.

I am really into music, and I remember that when I was a teenager, it felt like people were insulting me by having different musical tastes. Whenever I listened to music around other people, it gnawed away at me that they weren't saying 'wow, what is this music? it's really great!'.

Are you stubborn and unwilling to change the way you do things, even when you know the way you do them is wrong, simply to spite whoever told you that you were wrong?

Have you ever received a bad grade, and concluded that the teacher, and probably the rest of the school hates you?

They say it's a symptom of ADHD, but I suspect it's a defense mechanism against the way ADHD makes you feel stupid and useless, and unable to get by in the neurotypical world.

The solutions are the same old things... just working on it, with a therapist if you can. CBT, and NLP...

KCblues• in reply toMTA-3 years ago

I just read up about RSD. I see all of the symptoms in me. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it is a defense mechanism against the way ADHD makes you feel. I hate when someone asks me a question, I start giving them an answer and they say that wasn't what they asked. Did I not hear them right or I can't communicate my answer fast enough or clearly enough for them.

MTA-• in reply toKCblues3 years ago

Right! The world is not a simple place. Answers to questions are frequently complicated. I can't change that reality, just because you want a succinct direct answer to your question!

Goodlistener• in reply toKCblues3 years ago

When I try to have a conversation with others they seem to drift off or get side tracked by something else.My communication skills are lacking.

It seems the older I get it's gotten worse. I'm 58 and I find that talking with much older adults is easier than people my own age.

I've been going to a therapist for 3 years & she is now diagnosing me with borderline personality disorder on top of bipolar.

Some days just want to give up!!!

FindingTheAnswers• in reply toGoodlistener3 years ago

Goodlistener, does your Bipolar Rx work for you? Do you, or others, notice that you are having a positive response from this Bipolar Rx?

Goodlistener• in reply toFindingTheAnswers3 years ago

No. My husband always asks "Did you take your medicine today" of course I do.NP just adjusted one bipolar med ZIPRASIDONE to 2xs per day.

I usually get upset at people or angry inside because they don't understand me or think I'm unintelligent. I never try to act like I'm a know it all with people. I have to tell the big picture when I share with others and they don't like the fact that I have a hard time getting right to the point(ADD)

FindingTheAnswers• in reply toGoodlistener3 years ago

I hope they figure out the right dosage for you or a different Rx that truly helps you. I know you're struggling trying to get this figured out. All while trying to make it through the day.I also understand your 2nd paragraph above. Even after I was diagnosed and got the right Rx, dealing with people was (IS!) still difficult (usually at work, it's not the job, it's the personalities and the politics). I still struggle, but my life ha s been much better with Adderall. Ever wish you could get some of the people you deal with to walk in your shoes. Just for 24 hours? 24 minutes?

From your earlier Post, is it possible that some/most older people are just 'You're kind of people'? Not to sound snobbish, but a lot of people are 'Not my kind of people'.

You said "My husband always asks "Did you take your medicine today" of course I do". This could be a good question at times, depending on how it's said to you. But I'm guessing most times it's like pouring fuel on the fire. Hope you find some relief.

Goodlistener• in reply toFindingTheAnswers3 years ago

"Thank you" for taking the time to reply.I appreciate that!!!

NeuroDivergentFairy• in reply toMTA-2 years ago

MTA- All your examples are on point! I especially identify with the Music example! This is one of my earliest memories of RSD. It's definitely some sort of learned response as a result of ADHD. I have very eclectic music taste and I tend to hyperfocus on songs and listen to the over and over again until I wear them out.. but it's truly one of the only things that makes me happy (music)! I used to get criticized for listening to songs too much or criticized for my musical tastes and it always cut me REALLY deep.. as if someone is rejecting me right down to my core! I grew up terrified to share my interests in music and different artists due to this. it can be very isolating and cause severe anxiety.

Goodlistener - The other aspect of RSD for me is the "perceived" rejection. I overthink text messages and things that people say or if someone doesn't answer me in the right tone, I automatically think they hate me and we can never be friends. it just turns into a spiral. I constantly have to remind myself that it is "perceived" rejection and not true rejection so I can eventually move on. But I have ruined relationships this way and kept myself from great relationships by fearing the worst. RSD can make you feel totally unlovable and like a complete failure. Not everyone understands how much of an impact it can truly have on your life. Being mindful and aware of this thought process is the only thing that is helping me shake it. I am definitely not there - it will be alot of work. The first step for all of us, I believe, is educating ourselves. Quite a bit of healing and healthy coping mechanisms can come with just being more self-aware.

ServiceSloth• in reply toMTA-2 years ago

need to follow this thread. Suddenly my tendency to: quit every career I undertake, (and so keep starting new things over)stay away from a job that involves having massive confidence even when one loses, choose to stay single, try to avoid hearing notes on my work or end up arguing, and believe that every one of my family immediate members actually does not like me -- is suddenly making a ton of sense. That is my life thru the lens of RSD. How horrible. 😖But, already I can see a light at the end of the tunnel as long as I dont reject myself. Stay stay stay for the inner child within and accept her fully. Sigh.

pragman3 years ago

Over time it has eased for me....but it took a decade or so...and its nowhere near gone.

The first time I had it, I had a panic attack, and severe acidity.

To this day, if a person criticizes me continuously, I can feel my body respond, usually with acidity, but i'm much better now and I understand that most of the time, the person who criticizes me doesn't intend to hurt me.

Constant struggle but getting better slowly