seeking advice on how others deal with RSD, I’m struggling with it regularly, to the point I’m turning my closest friends against me, with my imaginary “issues” I decide they have with me.
mid love to know how to better manage this, as it’s beginning to take quite a toll on my day to day life.
Honestly, I hate to sound like a medicine pusher, but at least for me, for 20 years I have tried therapy, rationalizing in my head, etc, and for me RSD has caused significant enough emotional distress that I’m trying medication. I have read that the non-stimulants may help RSD (this is not official medical evidence but I think Russell Barkley discussed it in a video lecture I watched). Sorry, I can’t remember which video. Or it was William Dodson. I completely understand and support not wanting to use medicine. I just feel life is too short and I’ve absolutely worked hard & spent $$$ on therapy & now need something quicker and easier if possible.
I’m okay with medicine, I’m trying to get into see someone to go back into ADHD meds at the moment.
I am in agreement with Knitting20projects, that for me medication was the biggest lever I had to manage RSD. Secondarily, I found that the RSD was mainly fueled by the negative self image we build up over the years of undiagnosed ADHD. The mind wants everything to make sense, so it creates explanations and stories.
We aren't able to overcome our messiness, or we can't start a project before the deadline, or we aren't accepted in the class community - that must be because of moral failings and defects in us. We build that view that all our ADHD behaviors are choices and personality traits, thus we don't really like ourselves. If we think we are lazy or don't care enough to do things then we wouldn't like ourselves if we were another person seeing us. This is why we create masks to shield our real selves - we are certain that others, if they see the bad person inside, won't like us either.
We can be so sure that others would dislike us if they saw the lazy, unreliable, unmotivated us, that we see every little sign as proof they saw and don't like us. We expect and believe we deserve to be rejected, thus we see every sign as confirmation bias that they saw and they rejected.
When you reframe your life and experiences through the lens of ADHD understanding, when you accept that it isn't laziness or unreliability but a biochemical disability, then you no longer are a person you wouldn't like. You are no longer morally bad. When the inner view that you deserve rejection is conquered, the RSD wanes away as well.
Now these can be lifelong habits so they don't switch off like a light. I didn't learn about ADHD until age 71, but after five months of introspection and education on ADHD, I already see major, major improvement in the RSD. With medication the improvement rate shot up. Maybe I will never get to zero but I am hopeful that I will continue down towards that. I hope this can be your experience too - it just takes some time.
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