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No further forwards at 47

Colls47 profile image
13 Replies

So posted a few times on here a while back . Things ain’t any better . Recap, had what I feel was a breakdown in 2020, and had started a new self employed business , but by 2020, after only a year , it all became too much . Have been on off anti depressants since 92, and at this point the dr just started swapping my meds about in Hope he may achieve something . Left me on mirtazpine , awful, and Effexor 37.5mg. Oct 2020 had to close bookkeeping business . All too much . Depression , anxieties, panic , confusion . Diagnosed adhd in April 2021 by psychiatry uk, funded by NHS. Next, my last parent , mum, died in June ( night of my 47th birthday ) , and she has been my main focal point for some years , worrying and caring for her etc twice a week , daily phone calls . Psychiatry uk then try me on elvanse 30mg , leaves me zombie and wears off after 4 hours , then 50mg , better, but wears off after 4 hours , so swaps me to i.r dexamphetamin, this at 7.5 twice a day leaves me terribly anxious , I too if how I’m already feeling . Psychiatry uk then leave a message on the online account ( it’s all online , no one speaks to you ) saying they want to try Intuniv. At this point , I’m feeling a mess with anxiety , so I say I don’t want to try this drug, and since then , nothing . So, diagnosed adhd , life in bits , no job , panicking , and no adhd treatment now . It’s a mess . I feel I have depression and anxiety , but I just don’t know what to do with my life now , and don’t know if that’s the adhd or not

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Colls47
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13 Replies
MNQN profile image
MNQN

Hi Colls,

Sorry you are going through all this.

There is not much I can say to help, except that trying to visit with a professional in person, might have a more positive feel. It sounds strange to me that all is through messages and no one speaks to you. You need to have a real person that interacts with you and that such person (meaning therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist) is the same one each time.

I hope all goes well!

Colls47 profile image
Colls47 in reply to MNQN

Thankyou . I know, crazy isn’t it ? Psychiatry uk funded by the nhs to diagnose , and then to have someone online tell you to try different meds they post out to you , and that’s it . I asked if I could talk to someone mid med trial , and they said that funding did not cover that ….. what an amazing service

Siggy1972 profile image
Siggy1972 in reply to Colls47

Hello. I'm reading your post and kind of in the same spot. I'm 49 and was diagnosed adhd last spring. I had been on general anxiety medication but that didn't seem to do anything. I'm in the US. I've been reading, listening, and basically trying to find anything I can to learn about adhd due to my son being diagnosed at a young age. I started to see alot of what the experts were talking about in me over the course of my life.

I had my general doc refer me to a local psychiatrist. She saw I had been on anxiety meds in the past and dismissed the adhd diagnosis. She stated "if you go looking for a diagnosis you'll find one." I wasn't looking for anything. It all basically fell in my lap due to my son being diagnosed. Now I'm hoping to get a second opinion from someone who truly specializes in adhd. I would simply like to know which path to follow.

What I've learned is. Just because someone has a degree in something doesn't mean they're an expert in that specific area. I'm now reaching out to one of the doctors I've heard and am now reading his book called Driven to Distraction by Dr. Hallowell. I'm no where near his clinics. But if I could at least be evaluated by someone who is an expert then I'll know which direction to go. I'm still waiting to hear back.

Additude magazine is a great resource. I would check that out along with the CHADD website. You may find someone in the UK. I do believe Dr. Hallowells Institute here may do online stuff outside of the states. I have no idea what he costs. But may be worth checking into.

Hope this helps

MNQN profile image
MNQN in reply to Siggy1972

Colls47

Siggy1972 mentions the website additude magazine. I work a lot with this site. (I am fairly new to CHADD). They have a section where you can find coaches and psychologist specialized in ADHD. I know some of them could do online sessions, and you would have them in video, which is almost like seeing them in person.

Continue reaching out and connecting with real people!

I hope things get better.

Colls47 profile image
Colls47 in reply to MNQN

Thanks . I’ve kinda given up on treating or believing I have adhd now . Being so low with my life now and what has gone on and death etc , I’m just doing best to get by each day . Such a shame that I was led to believe medicating the adhd would really help , didn’t get very far with that , so , back to struggling I guess . Thank you though all of you

99centss profile image
99centss in reply to Siggy1972

When reading "Is it you, me, or adult ADD", apparently it's a common story to have to try several (6 to 7) counselors/psychiatrists to find the right one.

I agree about trying some things for yourself, out-of-pocket.

My counselor tells me it's not uncommon to have to try several meds.

Co-morbidities like anxiety are common, apparently. So it's not always a matter of either/or.

If you can find some people in your area, or with your workplace, who have ADHD, they might be able to refer you to a decent counselor/psychiatrist they've already vetted out.

Consider asking your family doctor for a referral as well?

Plan on seeing multiple doctors. Apparently it's normal. Also, I found that seeing an LCSW who specialized in ADHD is a better experience than a full-on psychiatrist. Maybe because the LCSW can't prescribe meds, and doesn't have to worry about the ramifications of people who are seeking stimulants illegitimately etc? IDK. Also, probably a lower cost. I don't know.

Colls47 profile image
Colls47

Thank you for This. Sadly as I was diagnosed privately by a company specialising in adhd and depression and anxiety , and they are funded here in Uk by NHS to do a diagnostic and Medicate, that’s it , they won’t do any more than that. They are not linked up with my own Drs so my Drs are not in the loop at all, and to be honest, the NHS here in uk is now failed and no help .

I have left a complaint on psychiatry uk portal saying I think the way they treated me , especially when things were already diar for me is dangerous and not patient focussed . Giving someone stimulants to try and swap and then try others , when I’m leaving notes saying I’m feeling anxious and more depressed , and all they said was that I should speak to my own gp if more depressed , is dangerous . I feel totally let down . And was already in a dark place , but the private psychiatrist said he felt medications were really going to change my world. What he didn’t say was . I’d be on my own with no one to talk to as I tried different drugs . Disgusting and dangerous.

Lenon526 profile image
Lenon526

I'm sorry for your lose. Losing someone is always hard especially when they were such a big part of your life.

Finding a good therapist that has a solid background in ADHD is really helpful. They can help you figure out some CBT practices. I know making gratitude lists at the end of the day can help but one thing that helps me with anxiety is taking time before I go to sleep to write down all the things I'm thinking of and what still needs to be done so I'm less likely to wake up in a panic in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep.

I hope this helps. You'll get through this.

Colls47 profile image
Colls47

Thank you

Stonesfan profile image
Stonesfan

Not sure if it helps. But I want to try Intuniv

It seems unlike all the others.

I have high hopes pinned on it.

Just wanted to share that.

Best of luck with everything.

Colls47 profile image
Colls47

Thanks ! Will be keen to hear if you can get intuniv and how it works for you !

plantaunt profile image
plantaunt

So sorry for your experience, that is absolutely dangerous prescribing stimulants like that. It could trigger a manic episode for someone with undiagnosed bipolar.

I didn’t try as many meds as you but I left off at intuniv as well. Did you try it?? I can't have stimulants basically - did not like Ritalin….got a 2nd opinion on DX who reaffirmed I have adhd but suggested Intuniv. But by then I’d had it with meds and resolved to run daily instead. But am again thinking of trying Intuniv

Colls47 profile image
Colls47

Hey, no, I stopped after they threw elvanse at me then dexamphetamin, then both , then said now let’s try intuniv . I said no , let’s not bother . And that is as far as it got . I’ve emailed the psychiatrist questions etc but no response . Psychiatry Uk when through nhs is purely there to diagnose then post out drugs and give me an online form to fill in each day / week. That’s it .I feel that since so much has changed in my life, job loss , last parent dying etc , I’m all over the place , mind rushing at a billion miles an hour and negative , and along with that anxiety . I’m so annoyed as I’m my younger years when I was involved in the race scene , speed really made me feel with it and focussed , so did cocaine . Now all I fin dis a couple of pints on a Friday night chills my mind right out and brings me back to reality and here an me now , but next day I feel low . So I crave that something to help settle this battle I’m fighting with myself . My body is burned out from non stop , but my mind won’t stop or let me stop . I joked and said to my wife when my time comes , my body will be dead but my mind will be dragging about a corpse behind it

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