Hi,
I would like some advice... I have issues in social interactions, specifically at work. I am such an over-sharer and I don't realize I do it until I get home, then I feel like an idiot... I really need help with this any advice??? If it matters I'm a 26 yr old female and I work with approximately 100 other people on my shift.
I am new to knowing I have ADHD and new to this website. Over-Sharing?? I didn't know that was an ADHD thing, but it makes sense. I have done that my whole life. I am 62 and found out about ADHD 3 years ago. I didn't know what was causing my life to be so difficult until then. I once had an intuitive tell me that my solar plexus was like a camera lens. She told me to rotate it close to being closed. She said it was way to open. She told me it probably scared people. Maybe that will help you. Joni-7
Yeah, for me it's almost like I just go and go and i don't stop to think what I'm saying first. Adhd is no excuse, but I do know it affects me in this way and I want to learn techniques to stop myself during or before I go all out!
I do the exact same thing I over share and sometimes regret what I say after. Sometimes I try to tell myself that if I see someone talking then to to keep my mouth closed until they finish and give myself a few seconds or longer to respond to what I should actually be saying and try not to over share
I over share too. Idk how to stop. I will say, try to be more of a listener than sharer. Like if someone shares something with you ask them a question about what they shared and it’s good to share too but maybe try and be mindful to keep your sharing to two or thee sentences that way you can control how much you share. Easier said than done. I wish I can be aware of my advice when I’m in a situation like that.
Tell yourself to shut up. It's called self talk. Keep things short and sweet and focus on your job and not chit chatting. Put on your working hat not your social hat.
Well, it's not while I'm out on the floor. Its while im on break, but thanks
I agree about just getting to work and not chit chatting. I have hearing loss and I’m usually in my own zone when I’m working so not paying much attention when the other girls chat with each other. Sometimes I smile when they all laugh so I look like I’m engaging. When I’m on break I i sometimes take it with another coworker. Then I chit chat. I’m better talking one on one then in groups because of the hearing and possibly paying attention thing.
I would definitely not tell yourself to shut up. Negative self talk is worse than blurting, in the long run. Trust me on this one.
What’s so bad about oversharing? Are you offending people around you or just feeling embarrassed? With ADHD, get used to the embarrassing moments and learn to laugh about it. Those who are okay with being embarrassed are heroes to those who can’t take it.
One thing I would say to help you with oversharing would be to wear yourself out with some sort of physical activity. It could change your brain into listening mode vs sharing mode. A short, but brisk, walk might just be the thing you want to do. Another thing is to spend 5 minutes a few times per day to reset your brain by meditating or some crazy thing that I started doing. I go outside and listen for a bird chirp. When I hear it, I know my brain can switch to something else. It’s crazy, but works for me. It might be something else for you, but it’s those little triggers that help.
Good luck.
Not trying to offend you or be disrespectful I'm trying to give you my personal tips
No, honesty is how I'm going to be a better person! No offense taken what-so-ever! I appreciate the honesty!
What have you shared that you feel might have been too much? Maybe it wasn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be in your head. There are probably people in your life who appreciate your transparency.
It's really the most unimportant things and my feelings. I vocalize what I feel about everything.
Yeah I know what your saying. You are expressing how you are feeling at the time and being completely honest. People tend to be judgemental so less is more with coworkers. Plus the way you thinking at the time could be negative and you dont want to give off bad vibes. Smile and say everything is great. A therapist can hear your grunts and moans
Meditation helps me. There is this meditation App that I really like. Impulse control meditation can make you less sporadic and able to listen. ADDers don’t have “breaks” , so it’s a river of information flowing out of our mouth , but we realize it later. Don’t fight it, harvest that energy and work on your success. Hey, you have extra energy that other ppl don’t! Ride the wave and build your career!
That’s good advice, i realize like lakashia I too have been saying what I feel. And I do feel like it’s not beneficial with coworkers. They aren’t your close friends who love you and accept or get you. I say don’t open yourself up so much. Make time to open up when your with a good friend or counselor like you said 😊
I absolutely understand what you mean-- sometimes, when I am talking nonstop with (or perhaps, at) someone, I'll realize in my head, "Ah, you've talked too much! This person has absolutely no interest in what you're saying." I've been getting a little better over the years, and I can sometimes stop myself, but other times it feels almost as though I'm being pulled along, like I can't help but say the next thing.
And then, when I realize I've over-shared, I often end up trying to remedy the situation by layering on increasing levels of context and 'clarifying' information...
I don't really know how to stop it. I get the since that putting yourself into the other person's shoes will help (that seems to be where I'm able to make a little bit of progress), but I can't really consistently apply it, especially when hungry or tired.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one!
Interrupting people was a constant behavior of mine. Waiting for their answer, which was going to wrong anyway, frustrated the hell out of me. Of course, it wasn't until I was diagnosed that I realized that my behaviors had had the impact of isolating me from building long term relationships.
Talking to excess is also one of my behaviors. I have found that the first step to mitigating this behavior is to recognize it. Once you identify the behavior you should be able to interrupt your one-sided narrative. Some times I can see in the other person's eyes that I am going on a bit long. If I catch myself I will apologize and convey that I have ADHD; I find that revealing my predisposition for certain types of behaviors reduces misunderstanding limits impacts.
I find not talking to be very difficult. And when my Vyvance is done for the day I can be quite annoying.
Hi Lakashia,
Your not the only one who overshares, I am going to ASSUME you mean you feel you over inform in your conversations.... I do that to but I am trying to cut down the information I spew for..... I try to say to myself Do I REALLY and Truly NEED to say what I am about to.???... then I look at my watch to see what time it is... (this gives me a moment to consider what I am about to do). I try not to go into much detail. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t... then I started thinking how close am I to this person... if I feel very comfortable and close I talk more.... but I try to keep it brief because I know I tend to over inform... that in itself helps.
Hope you find something that helps you feel better.
Girls, honestly, don’t share absolutely everything with your partners. Since I was diagnosed, my boyfriend looked differently at me and eventually broke up in couple of months. Felt like betrayal kinda.
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