Morning routine help: Looking for... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...

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Morning routine help

Tbenny profile image
15 Replies

Looking for helpful tips and suggestions, have a freshman boy who takes a shower for 45 minutes in the morning, and then always runs out of time and nearly tardy. It’s exhausting constantly reminding him to get moving and hurry up.

15 Replies
Onthemove1971 profile image

Thanks for sharing..

Been there done that..

We only allow showers at night. I set a loud timer..

It should get better, our son is 16 years old now.

Upsydaisy2005 profile image

I am looking for similar advice. My daughter takes too long for shower, dressing all!

Also any tips for memory and routine?

Yellow-cello profile image

I like the timer idea. If it continues and you need a natural consequence for going beyond a certain amount of time, maybe have him pay a little toward the water bill.

My 11yo son also takes super long “shower-baths.” He seems to be so happy in there in his own little world… usually it’s at night but our mornings are still exhausting and I often lose my cool :-(

One idea - a huge talking clock in the bathroom that could announce the time? I think they make such things designed for elderly people. Is there a designated time for him to get in and out of the shower? My son responds better to “it’s 8.08” than “hurry up!”

I wonder if your schedule would permit leaving him to his own devices after a timer, and say 1 verbal warning, and then he’s on his own? And if he’s tardy, even for multiple days/weeks, he can take the consequences? Is it possible he would self-correct? I don’t know that I could do it myself - sometimes I have to be at work and etc. And I think my son doesn’t mind being tardy! But it’s an interesting thought experiment.

When my son was much younger and we were really struggling with mornings, a very zen therapist helped me to shift my thinking on tardy, ie, in the scheme of things, your relationship with your kid and your own mental health is a lot more important than not being tardy.

I know it’s not easy! Hang in there :-)

Game44 profile image

I have to use an overestimation equation for myself. Plan out how long I think things like getting ready will take and then add half an hour to an hour depending on what it is. ADHD Understood on Instagram has a lot of time management tips.

Aspen797 profile image

Ours also loses all track of time in the shower. Bathing at night is least stressful, as Onthemove suggested. We also have a waterproof clock in the shower but it hasn’t been that helpful since no alarm.

We have not tried this, but I heard someone else suggest using music as a cue—when song ends, rinse hair, next song is get out, etc. The most creative suggestion I just saw was to allocate a lollipop to shower time and when you’re left with a stick, get out. I thought that was funny but clever!

MomofOne13 profile image

Sounds like we all have this problem! My 11 year old son can easily take 30-40 if left unchecked, but for my own mental well being I've stepped away from it as much as possible. We only bath/shower at night, but it definitely delays bedtime. I've tried setting a 20min timer and that really worked well for a while, but then he would get very upset if he "got distracted" and went over time. At this point, I just try to get him started early enough that I'm not upset about how late he's going to bed after.

Owensmom11 profile image

My husband has given all of our boys 8 minutes to shower because we live in an apartment and our hot water tank does not hold that much so he gives that time to where everybody can get their showers. Our youngest is 11 years old and is ADHD and ODD and he has been doing the eight minute time for quite a while. Surprisingly he does very well with it and he himself sometimes set the timer for 8 minutes and if he does not he asked Daddy to do it he does very well with it. But unfortunately he does struggle with other things especially in the morning. His memory is not that good and he gets very overwhelmed if we ask him to do more than one thing he will throw a big fit.

JamB11 profile image

I highly recommend the ADHD Dude for his tips on this. There are free videos on YouTube but I pay a membership of $20. Everything I have implemented from him is very helpful! He teaches how to create schedules and implements a clock to support time blindness.

dancer2973 profile image

We use a visual timer that also makes a noise with our daughter. It can also be set to give a 5 minute warning. She is a bit younger (9), but it definitely helps with things like bath time.

99centss profile image

We also struggle with an 8-year-old at bedtime. Recently I tried using a visual timer app on my Android phone. It really helped for the couple days I remembered to use it.

His ability to manage time is important to his long-term success as he gets to independent schooling and career. However, I have had to take the tactic of remembering that these skills can take time and I can't focus on all the skills at once.

One thing I learned recently is that it's important to focus on the principles and the why but also to empathize with him and not get upset with him. Or at least not show him the upset.

HoldingonLou profile image

I have been there and some days I think I still am but he's grown. I like the music idea. We tried the morning shower and all he would do is just stand there under the warmth until it turned cold. If you can think of a way to have the warm water cut off I suggest doing it. I know he got out alot faster if i had done some laundry and ran the dishwasher in the morning. So then he switched to nightime baths. I had to be the enforcer of just how late he could sit in the tub. This did help him sleep better and he was less tardy but he would stay in the bath until he was a prune. Best of luck with it. Lots of good advice on here from all these parents. Blessings to you.

MomInNH profile image

I have this problem with my 8 year old. I have no advice but I understand ❤

NYCmom2 profile image

I’m agreeing with all of these comments on addressing the time blindness piece. Teaching my son to set timers and alerts on his phone has been a useful skill that encourages independent problem solving skills.

If he doesn’t want to feel rushed than his options are to take a long shower at night or wake up extra early. He likes to have choices and is learning about setting priorities and making trade offs. There are rarely perfect choices; so he’s learned to make a pros and cons list.

We’re also experimenting with to do list apps that have some type of reward or motivations designed in. For your son getting to school by a certain time could be one of his to do list items that would be acknowledged.

Richard_Mcgee profile image

Get up early in the morning and go for a walk, it have great habit for healthy life.

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