Candy thief

[Idontgetit]

12 year old keeps taking candy. I dont know how to stop him, other than keeping no candy in the house. But then what else will he steal down the line . I'm so frustrated, disappointed, I'm losing my mind.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome to the group! Understanding the impulsivity helps a lot with this issue. Many of us have dealt with this. For us it was a few years of letting it happen and talking about it and it didn't change. So we put a number pad lock on our pantry.

Our son is now 13yrs old. Almost 14 year and we don't see this behavior any more.

In fact he will ask us to lock things up for him.

This is really about ADHD and making it very, very hard for them to stop their behavior. That is why assisting them with medication and avoidance, until they are old enough to stop themselves.

Our son was only taking things when his medication worr off, in the past.

Of course this leads to trust issues and it will be a long while before we can do this.

Please don't take this personally, he just can't control himself so best to remove it by locking it up.

We give our son lots of treats but not when he takes things.

Hope this helps, you can search previous message about this, I am sure there are many.

Hope this helps.. we are always here for you if you need us.

Take care,

[Idontgetit in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thanks. I always have treats and I use treats as a positive reinforcement for homework. It's the lying, sneaking and hiding things I have so much trouble understanding and accepting. It's hard to look forward and see that he will grow out of these behaviors. Makes me worried. Medication is complicated, we get a good dose, it wears off fast. Try a higher dose, moody behavior as side effects. He has a behavioral specialist, it's just all so overwhelming at times.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Idontgetit]

I would like to recommend the Podcast " Parenting ADHD", episode #3 talks about behavior is a form of communication. I have really learned a lot from Penny Williams and her special guest.

If you have never listened to a Podcast just download an App to read it the search for the Podcast.

I hope these help you better understand why your son does some of the the things he does.

Good luck!

[reg2018]

We have a lockbox for treats. I would've gotten rid of sugar completely, but that wouldn't have been fair to the other boys. So it was the only way we could have sugar in the house and also protect the treats that belonged to the other boys. We also use the lock box to lock up other things like electronics when we're gone which can be part of impulsive behavior - or dipping into a sibling's piggy bank.

[Idontgetit in reply to reg2018]

A lock box, that sounds like a good idea. I will try that, thank you.

[Adam081911]

This is my son's issue too! He is 8 years old....

I get frustrated everyday that he sneaks to the kitchen and open all the covers and hide the treats everywhere that I don't see!

My son also asked to get another lock box but haven't got it yet. (old one was too small for box packages and a lock went missing.)

I want to ask others. How much treats do you allow your child to have?

How much do you keep in the lock box?

[Idontgetit in reply to Adam081911]

My son has trouble with anger too, but meds have helped, I'm also going to set up a poster in his room , reminders of how to calm himself when hes getting mad. He goes to his room to calm down, but the frustration blinds his abilities to think. So I'm hoping with things written visually he will try to apply them.

[anirush]

I used to have a lock on my pantry door. The craving for sweets was really bad. Now they are teenagers and hardly touch them. Pretty stable on medication right now too which helps. Behavioral therapy also help them teach themselves control.

We still have trouble with anger outbursts when they are frustrated though, lots of yelling. It would be a nice to get through a day without someone having a meltdown.

[Hidden]

My son will be 11 soon and he still sneaks the sweets! I basically don’t keep a lot of sweets in the house anymore, especially processed foods. He doesn’t take things at stores anymore though...thank goodness. He gets an allowance for chores and some behaviors, then gets to buy something sweet with his own money.

[Tinyhuman]

My son will be 8 yo next month and he is a treat thief too. I have found candy bar wrappers. Chips cookies and everything else hidden under his bed. Stuck between the couch cushions etc. I have put them up in the cupboards where he can't reach but somehow he gets to them. I have hidden them in my room, but he sneaks in there and gets them too. He recently lost all of his treat privileges for a week for doing this. I've talked to him about it so many times and he looks at me and says Mommy I can't help myself. I feel terrible about it But it's not fair to the other people in the house. He asks me to put them somewhere where he can't get to them. But no matter where I put them he always finds it. And then he can't control himself. And then he gets in trouble. He gets frustrated and upset with himself because he can't control himself. But at the same time, how do you teach personal responsibility over something he can't control? It upsets him so much. It is quite difficult.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Tinyhuman]

Looking at our kids with ADHD with a different lens is really important. This is an impulse issue related his ADHD. Or a behavior that is communicating something.

Personal responsibility is something to think/worry about with Neuro-typical kids with regards to this issue. With the difference in age maturity we have to think about what modifications need to be done at home, life and school. When they are grown up and out of the house they can deal with this issue.

For now... in our house things are locked up.

Hope this helps..our son is 13yrs old and they are locked up and he doesnt try any more.

Good luck!