So Irritated With Other People telling me what My ADHD daughter needs.

[sycopenguin1]

First off Id like to say that I live in a tiny town in Tennessee, where good old fashioned discipline is not only approved but encouraged.... My little one is only 4, that being said she is a complete and total handful. We literally just got to where she would sleep more than 5 1/2- 6 hours a night and when she is up she runs NON STOP. She has complete and total meltdowns, I feel like she totally ignores me sometimes, she is aggressive, and problematic at school, and pretty darn destructive. In total honesty before I knew it was ADHD I didn't know if I was going to be able to handle her, I had given her way way WAY more spankings than I ever should have. Now that I know I feel bad about it, and if she's not doing anything harmful to herself or anyone else I don't find them necessary. But that doesn't stop other people from telling me what a "kid like her" needs. The people in my small community treat it like its not a real thing, just an excuse for parents not to deal with a "bad" kid. She is not a bad kid at all. No kid at that age is really. But over and over again I hear, (Its hard when they just don't want to listen, right?),or (If that was my kid.), or (Id never put up with that out my kids.). After a meltdown in Wal-Mart she started being really good, and because I thought after talking with her that she had learned her lesson I got her a toy(it was also her birthday) and WORKER at the Wal-mart seriously tried to take it back away from her because, and I quote "she ain't gonna learn nothing if she gets that toy anyway, I could here her from the back of the store".... Who asked her anyway. Sorry just want talk with people who understand that she is not a bad kid, and its a real condition..... And people who don't know anything about should keep their dang mouths shut.

[Sotoracheal]

Honestly I I’m right there with you my boy just turn 4 in April and I’m dying over here with how everyone tell me he doesn’t have a problem he just needs this he just needs that like I’m not doing enough for him I’m he get up every day at 6 am and goes to bed at 8 pm and still he run like the world is at him feet when he get up he in so tried half the day and people just tell me you lazy you need to get up it’s like mom that don’t have kids with adhd kids call me lazy or people who don’t have kids at all calling me lazy makes me so mad like if I’m not trying my hardest not to rip my hair out from the tantrums constantly it like people give us a break 😩🙏🏽

[5Flyingeagle]

We have it hard enough, don't people see that. Why can't they keep their mouths shut unless they have something nice to say. That is what my mom used to drill into our heads.

Sorry, I am no help but I feel ya pain. My daughter just turned 8 on the 1st. She has ADHD both kinds, OCD, Anxiety, and Sensory issues. So I have my hands full. It is bad when my middle daughter tells me I am a bad mom and don't know how to parent. She will be 20 at the end of November. I get no support from my husband, I might as well be a single mom. He has said that he has given up on our youngest (8 year old). He doesn't knows how to deal with her.

[sycopenguin1 in reply to 5Flyingeagle]

I totally understand... My husband is great and hasn't given up on ours. Its is very hard when you have no support though. We absolutely love how full of life she is, and how she keeps us on our toes. Now that I know its ADHD its easier because I know that she isn't just a "problem" child. I just wish the public would understand that while her actions seem like sporadic defiance or disrespect, she cant always help her impulses. And every little thing or time she acts out, it doesn't have to be a whooping or some severe punishment. Finding that balance on how to deal with our little ones is hard enough for us with out other peoples input.

[Ashleyvon]

I completely see where you're coming from. I have a 4 year old that's been diagnosed with ADHD. Although I haven't had many people telling me how to raise her, I have had a lot of people looking down on me when I was trying to get her diagnosed. I had so many people say oh that's just because she's young. All young children have lots of energy and have a hard time controlling their emotions. They knew nothing of our everyday struggles and the problems she was having in preschool. Even now when I tell people that she has ADHD they look at me like I'm crazy for getting her diagnosis so young. I have been feeling better now though because we recently were approved for an IEP and she is in a great preschool program geared specifically towards kids like her! Not only do they work on academics but they also work on social and emotional skills as well. So in-your-face doubters😄 At the end of the day you just have to believe that you are doing the best for your child and have faith in yourself as hard as that can be!