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Do you reveal diagnosis to friends and/or strangers?

Mrsgtn413 profile image
6 Replies

I have a 5 year old, recent diagnosis of ADHD and ODD. We have lots of behavorial issues at school and i get angry mothers (sometimes friends) berating me for my sons aggresive/strange/wild behavior on the playground or at parties, etc. I’m wondering when, or if, you reveal your child’s diagnosis to the these angry people? Looking for some understanding/compassion but maybe its pointless? Have lost friends due to his behavior. Most people think hes just “bad” and Im just a terrible parent.

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Mrsgtn413 profile image
Mrsgtn413
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6 Replies
Plainjame8 profile image
Plainjame8

What does he do that makes them so angry? Maybe they will be a little more understanding if you let them know that he has been diagnosed with adhd and that you are working on his behavior. Ultimately it's none of their business, but if you decide to fill them in they might come around and be more compassionate.

Terrilynn04 profile image
Terrilynn04

My husband doesn’t want to share the details but I think it lets other parents reset their expectations and can curtail the judgement you feel. I also have a5 year old with “severe ADHD” and her impulsive behavior has left her friendless and she heads into Kindergarten next fall. It’s heartbreaking but she’s on an IEP and her teachers/school/councilors are all aware of her social immaturity and hopefully will help her navigate her way through school.

denak2 profile image
denak2

My daughter is 7 and was diagnosed with ADHD at 6. My close friends know about her ADHD but I have only told one mom (a neighbor) at our school. Its hard to know what is best. I feel like this is private info. but also feel like some people will be more understanding if they knew; however, we are not friends with most of the parents of my daughters schoolmates. Our school is very clique and we aren't part of the clique. I will say that once we started medication, we could take my daughter to social events. Prior to medication, it was difficult to take her out because her behavior was so rude and obnoxious.

Niko2012 profile image
Niko2012

This is such a hard topic to address and have friend and even family understand. We’ve had to remove my son in several gatherings over the years because mentally and physically he couldn’t cope with getting along or having outbursts while being in over stimulated situations something as small as a birthday party’s and social gatherings.

It’s best to gage triggers, and what he’s capable of being around. It’s a full life style change and sometimes you have to withdraw him from theses things even though you want so much to be a part of it. This is something you’re going to have to deal with until it’s more manageable unfortunately.

Now that my sons older (6) he’s able to handle these types of things but it took a lot of us not taking him and doing things in baby steps like outdoor play gyms or parks to have him acclimate better with other children.

My friends Including my family have now learned how to better support not only me but him now knowing his diagnosis and needs and that he’s simply NOT like every average child.

I hope this helps stay positive and strong. This is an everlasting diagnosis

22789 profile image
22789

I am a huge believer in raising awareness. I have built an amazing village of support. ADHD is so very misunderstood. I educate friends and family, which increases tolerance and inclusion. It increases my son’s self-esteem. When people understand, they are willing to help. They find out why we parent the way we do. It’s about explanations rather than excuses.

Danseuse profile image
Danseuse

I’ve been very open about my kids diagnosis and it’s been a positive thing for us. Almost everyone I mention it to knows someone with the disorder, has a child with the disorder or has it themselves. It is the most common disorder diagnosed in children and it has nothing to do with parenting. The brain simply isn’t getting enough dopamine and medication helps the brain to absorb more. If you explain this to other parents it might help them have more compassion. Watch this video.. it is very helpful.

youtu.be/YSfCdBBqNXY

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