New ADHD mom

[Baylee11]

Hello! Mom of 8 year old son just diagnosed with ADHD! I feel so lost! The dr already mentioned medication today and all I did was cry! I don't know what to do 😭

[Mtorres23]

I remember the first time I saw the doctor and he told me my son needed meds also. I did the same thing l, cried. Sometimes it's hard to believe that are kids need help. It will get better and you will see how much the meds will help your son.

[ChrissyLou]

I have a 9 year old impulsive daughter that was diagnosed when she was 7. I always knew in my gut she was "not just being a kid." I really began to notice at the age of 3 when she started preschool. We had a small window of opportunity to teach her colors, numbers, honestly, anything! I am old school, you respect your parents, elders, say please and thank you etc. I was consistent, but it just never worked. It could take 45 minutes for her to successfully pull 5 minutes of a timeout (5 minutes for 5 yr old). We learned that she honestly couldn't sit in one spot! We had to give her an area. Wanted to give you a brief background, but as far as meds it truly is a tough decision. At first, we felt guilty and selfish bc we just couldn't naturally help her and keep our sanity with a smaller child and full time jobs. I asked the doctor what meds she usually prescribed and I researched them and read many blogs. They put her on focalin and it made a world of difference in school, which was the most important thing! And she is still the same sacrastic witty girl I love! Just talks A LOT more...lol. The teacher could see a difference the first day! Her handwriting was legible and her words were in straight columns instead of completely scattered on the page (so sad to know that was truly how her brain was functioning, "scattered"). She has been on it for 2 years and we are beyond happy with it and our decision. EVERY medicine has side affects. With any stimulant you will see weight lose. She has major munchies in the afternoons once it has worn off. But keep in mind, it doesn't solve everything. We still struggle, once we think we have it figured out, it changes! Just dont feel guilty or bad. The first medicine may not agree. My greatest advice, if you do go with meds, document his behavior, mood, eating everything a few weeks prior to starting and a few weeks after starting. That way you can see what positives and negatives he has with and without it. This will make you feel so much better about your final decision. Hope this helps!

[danqatsi]

As a 41 year old who was diagnosed at 36 I can assure you that this is good news. ADHD is not a curse or even a problem at all. Its just a different way of being wired than most of the population. I know its probably scary for all involved but you've just been handed a better way to understand how your son experiences the world. He will excel in some areas and struggle in others. The most important thing is for him to understand how he understands things. It will probably be unique and he might take a little extra time in school and life to find a way to "frame" his learning. Like for me I need to understand all the pieces of an idea to understand the idea itself. It can be seen as being difficult or "slow" but the up side is that once I can get under the hood of anything, take it apart and put it back together for myself, I understand it as though it had always been in my brain. Medication is a good option. I know that for me it has helped me get to a place where the world isn't emotionally overwhelming. Its like night and day in my own head but probably barely noticed by people around me. ADHD is a gift. Truly. It just takes some extra maintenance. I think of it as a high energy pitbull with a kind heart but not the best manners. Look at some of the things that Thom Heartman has written on the subject. He's a political commentator but his ADHD stuff is apolitical and has some good ways to look at the condition. In short, he compares ADHDers to early hunters and warriors while your "normal" person would be like a farmer or a merchant. His theory is that there's an evolutionary reason why people like your son and I exist and that while modern society has less of an obvious need for our impulsiveness and distractability there are still areas where we tend to outshine our "normal" friends.

[Jmnt80 in reply to danqatsi]

I really enjoyed your comments

[Kaysmom84]

Hi I totally understand how you are feeling..... but at the same time isn't nice to have some answers for what has been going on! Medication can be such a great part of a treatment plan for many kids, but keep in mind its not the only one. My pediatrician recommended we do a number of different things before trying out medication. We have been doing many things to alter my sons environment both at home and at school, we are carefully working with teachers and counselors to make realistic goals and modifications to improve symptoms. I am also working hard to teach him strategies and tips for controlling and managing his symptoms. I'm not saying medication is not a good idea for your son, but you do have options of many things that can be tried first!

[Kaysmom84 in reply to Kaysmom84]

I also highly recommend the book"Smart but Scattered" the strategies

and tips in it made a world of difference for my son!

[cindy040174]

I am in the exact same situation. My son turns 8 in two weeks. Just diagnosed a month ago with ADHD. I was so emotional, confused, cried a lot. Started adderal about 2 weeks ago. So far it's been good overall. Just read a lot of info (but not the horror stories), get a good team in place (doc, teacher, principal, friends). Talk, ask questions, go through all your emotions. It has improved for my kid. Not 100% but we are on the right track and you guys will be too.

[SherryX1000X]

I cried too.

[CHADDAdmin2]

Hello Baylee,

Welcome to CHADD’s ADHD Parents Together online community. A doctor’s visit and recent diagnosis can be overwhelming, so I’m glad you’re reaching out for support. Below are some suggestions for next steps (some of these steps you may have taken already). I hope this helps and please feel free to post more questions.

1. Read more information on ADHD before taking next steps. I suggest reading the following fact sheets:

chadd.org/Portals/0/Content...

chadd.org/Portals/0/Content...

chadd.org/Portals/0/Content...

Evidence based treatment for a child with ADHD includes behavioral therapy, parent training, and medication management. It seems that the conversation about medication you had with your child’s doctor made you upset. Keep in mind that you choose what treatment your child receives, so if medication is not something that you want to do right now, that is ok. Keep in mind that the AAP recommends medication until a child is 6+ years old.

2.Schedule an appointment with an ADHD child psychologist who can provide behavioral therapy and parent training.

3.If you choose to, schedule an appointment with an ADHD child psychiatrist who can provide medication management. Click on this link and scroll to the end of the page to find a list of approved medications for ADHD. chadd.org/Understanding-ADH...

Best wishes,

CHADD Admin