What's wrong with me: I am lost. I don't know... - Above & Beyond

Above & Beyond

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What's wrong with me

lost-and-furious profile image
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I am lost. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm seen as a positive person, but honestly I'm miserable. I feel like no one sees my worth until I'm gone. I have a hard time believing anyone's intentions are good. I'm so mad at the world everything is wrong. I don't think I love anyone or anything, I don't even love my family. There's not much wrong with them they're all pretty typical. I just don't care about them. I let people walk all over me. I just want to find one person that cares about me. I feel empty inside, but at the same time, I feel heavy. I want to scream everyday all the time. But I'm scared that my feelings aren't valid, so I just have a low tolerance to life and I'm just dramatic? Or is something wrong with me? I wish I knew what was wrong with me because if this is what life is supposed to be like I don't want it. I just feel like everything is worthless. Nothing is perfect. I want everything to be perfect. I try so hard to be the best I can, I try to do everything as effective as possible or else it makes me mad. When people get in my way it makes me mad. I know I have anger issues, but the only thing that overpowers it is my fear of what will happen if I lash out, or how much it will cost to fix everything, or how long it will take to clean it up. I wish I felt connected to someone or something. But I know I'm not. If I could start a new life I would. I wouldn't give a second thought to everyone I would leave behind. I don't mean with different financial situations or anything like that. Just like if I could just wake up somewhere else and no one I knew would ever be able to find me I would do it. I just wish I could find out what life would be like if I didn't live in my mind, where everything is negative and everyone hates me or just doesn't care. I want to see the good in life, I want to be able to trust people, I want to have people that I care about, I want to not hate myself for not being able to talk to people, I want to stop being me.

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lost-and-furious
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Try to get your intelligence, going, brain activity with courses so you feel comfortable with yourself and confidence grows say with online courses or simply reading something documentary on youtube anything that gains your interest. The more interests and hobbies you have the better you are.

sopheaaaa2020 profile image
sopheaaaa2020

Hey, you know what? you just spoke for me.. I felt that way in my life before.. I mean, I used to feel that way, trust me 100% same feelings same as what you're feeling rn.. I got you.. I know how it feels like.. sucks..i know.. At this point you also feel like nothing is going to be okay, nothing will be fine.. Cuz you're mentally numb.. you don't care, you don't mind.. You also pretend like you don't give af.. But sometimes, you actually do.. Deep inside you, you want everything to be okay, you want your life together, you don't want to feel this way.. But.. your mindset.. trust me, it's your mindset..he way you thik rn, the NEGATIVITY..i know how it feels.. It's controlling you, your mind, your words and your actions..sometimes you just can't fight it anymore so you just go with the flow.. You let the negativity take the lead in your life.. But, there is no end.. the negativity can be stopped..Its okay, negativity will not be gone, but it will go away, so you could get your life together..your mindset..you need to motivate yourself, fight! Get up, get out of this pity potty, you are more than this..life is not gonna be perfect.. And, even if you fail at getting up again, it's okay! Get up! Move, start getting your work done, move! get up of that damn bed/chair / sofa, get up and start do what you have to do, you want to be better! And now it's time.. if you fail again, you do it again.. and if the negativity get in again, kick it out.. Means you gotta move and do it now! get motivated ❤

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