My thoughts on me.

[Titain]

I hate when things come easy for me, but I’m to afraid to grab onto it. Clearly I’m not ready for this world, but for some reason I’m here. I try so hard to fit in like everywhere and fail to do so. I think I may be forever broken. So many times I have thought about killing myself, but then I remember my mom and everything she did for me. I really hope she is proud of me but.... she’s not. And this breaks my heart so much. I want help but can’t get it. I hid this from everyone......I hid my depression.

[Titain]

Thank you to anyone who read this all I appreciate it.

[MarkFL]

I have 3 tips...

-Keep going, do not try to project yourself into something you would never be. Do your best with what you have now, and for you are .

- Daily goals. Remember there is no past anymore ( it's gonne, so why worry about it?), same with future ( okay some planning is nice and very helpful, for sure).

- Ask yourself "Who am I" every night, and expect an answer for "What I want for me?". Then try to trigger small goals every single day, without that your future will cause anxiety and your past will cause you suffer, and both do not exist, then you will realise happiness can only be achieved now, there is no other time.

Every present second of your life is the most important moment of it, a new life is created each second . We don't need scientists to explain string theory. Its here, inside us, and with what we do to our present .

If you understand that you will see life in a new perspective.

[Titain in reply to MarkFL]

Thank you I will try to do this every day

[hypercat54]

Hi how do you know your mum isn't proud of you? Have you asked her? I am sure her love isn't dependent on you achieving anything but just by being yourself.

You are not broken either - many people say that but all it means is you need to make some changes in your life. The first thing to do is get some medical help so make an appointment to see your doctor.

The second thing to remember is life is not an obstacle course - it is to be enjoyed and spent doing things you want to do and which bring you happiness. This might be the things we are all told to strive for ie a good career, a partner, children, a big house and lots of money etc. or it might not be. Material things can bring a certain level of happiness, but being your own person and knowing yourself brings a lot more satisfaction which can lead to being a lot happier. x

[Titain in reply to hypercat54]

She has told me she is not proud of what I have become and thank you.

[AnnaDyt]

Titain, hold on. You did not choose your parents and they didn't choose your. so if your mother don't proud of you or even don't love you, bail on it. YOU HAVE YOURSELF AND THIS IS ENOUGH. It's hard to be your own supporter, but you will find other person or maybe smth else that will give you everything.

Dealing with depression is hard, but it's better to don't care about thing you can't change like your mom's attitude.

Appeal to doctor if you can.

And sorry if i didn't find the right words to support you

[Titain in reply to AnnaDyt]

You saying those words is enough but I think I’ll hold off for the doctor for now.

[hypercat54]

The longer you put off getting help the worse it will get. Many here have done this and ended up attempting suicide or isolating themselves for years.

If you don't want to go the medical route then there is only the self help one left, so have a look at things like mindfulness, meditation and self help tips online. x

[Titain in reply to hypercat54]

Alright thank you for your advice I hope that I can get to do this.