Above & Beyond
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I don’t know what is wrong with me anymore

I have suffered with depression before until I met my boyfriend. We are together 1 year now. I am 18 years old. There is something wrong with me and I need advice on what to do. I have a lot of family problems and it does affect my mental health but I have learned to deal with that. But recently I have been so paranoid about my boyfriend. On a night out I don’t like when he goes out on his own and when I go out with him we always fight over stupid stuff. Sometimes I can get very aggressive and I can push and shove him and i hate that I do that and I don’t know how to stop it I just see red. Im turning into a very clingy girlfriend and I don’t want to be like that. I don’t stop him from seeing his friends or anything but I just want attention all the time and i feel like he doesn’t care about me anymore. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and I really don’t want us to break up but he says I’m very clingy and I want attention all the time. I don’t think he shows love enough and I am very fragile at the moment and I just don’t know what to do. I need advice on how to save my relationship and my mental health.

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Hi Mexxxxx

Hi and thanks for reaching out to us can I ask first are you on any medication for your depression ?

Anyway you sounď so hurt and also it sounds to me that you may of gone through something in your past and you've been hurt as Well is this why you are reacting this way towards your boyfriend do you think?

It sounds to me by your post that you seem very protective of your boyfriend and you seem to be needing reassurance from him in some way but pushing him around my friend isn't going to give you the thinks you want from him it will only push him further from you if anything but I'm sure it won't come to that if you talk to him about how you are feeling or talk to someone about how your feeling a family member or at least your doctor maybe your a little frustrated as we all tend to get like that every once in a while but it's how we react to it has a big impact on how we manage it and getting aggressive is certainly not one of them this is now the time my friend where you should seek professional medical help you sound lime you need meds to calm you and why not try counselling and maybe you will get to the root of the problem your experiencinģ..this is a huge step you have taken so well done to you but i think maybe it's time to concentrate on getting yourself a bit better and your partner also needs to get on board and support you more maybe you won't be so frustrated either way this needs addressing and you have come to the right place

Please let us know how you get on

Here off you need to talk

Nat

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You know, I think a lot of people wouldn't ask for help or really notice something's wrong, so that's a definite positive for you. Getting physical as you describe is a very worrying sign, so in my opinion you should seek therapy as a high priority.

You seem to be pretty aware of problems with your behaviour but not with the causes, which is something a therapist could help you explore. I would imagine there are some self-esteem issues leading you to seek validation from your boyfriend. If you could get help to discover the barriers that stop you from improving your self-esteem, I think you both could become a lot happier and have a much healthier relationship.

Best of luck!

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Hello, I am wondering why at 18 you want an exclusive relationship? There are so many different and yummy men out there. Which one is for you. I'm not suggesting endless sexual encounters just dating and semi serious relationships. Fun and parties enjoying your youth before you meet someone who has all the qualities you want. In the mean time find out what's going on with that temper. Pam

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