Above & Beyond


hey, im pretty new to this so bear with me! basically I was put on anti-depressants a few months ago, ive never really felt this bad, up until recently ive always been a 'fighter' ive went from being battered by an ex and put through his windscreen to being raped at eighteen and then being engaged to someone who wouldn't even let me go to the toilet on my own, then I found out he was cheating on me! all this came after watching my mum and dad tear lumps out each other physically and mentally until they finally split up. then comes the hardship of step parents....all of this and more(wont bore you all with the rest) ive overcame and ive got a good job, lovely house and a terrific partner who has two cracking girls. in January this year I lost my big brother, there was less than two years between us and it was only me and him, he was my idol. he was 30years and dropped down playing football with a brain haemorrhage. he was an amazing person, almost a thousand people came to the funeral and wreaths and cards were sent from all over the world, Australia, America you name it- he was just so enigmatic that you'd never forget him once you'd met him. he donated his organs and so far has helped save five peoples lives.as you can imagine we were all having a tough time. my evil stepmother took it upon herself to have a go at everyone and that included my brother. ridiculous, she tried to get me arrested before the funeral (I never touched her) then stole dads credit cards afterwards and got him arrested instead because he asked for them back or he was going to take her car (which is legally his anyway and he pays for it) then he forgave her and theyre back together...gutted. work isn't going to well and they aren't happy at me for taking time off so I may lose my job and probably my lovely house which we fought so hard to get and I wouldn't blame my man for leaving me. my brothers girlfriend who lived with him (they just bought a house in dec and he was in the middle of doing it up when we lost him) has everything- his clothes his car his ashes...and she is refusing to speak to us or see us and because there was no will its going to take months to get all his estate sorted as he also had a flat which being rented. I want to be strong again and fight this but everything seems so hopeless on my own. he was my other half and we fought everything together, I just don't know how to do it by myself x

1 Reply

Really sorry to hear about this - you have been through so much.

Losing someone you are close to is really hard and the family situation just sounds awful.

It is no wonder you are finding it so hard to keep going, and really difficult when you are in fear of losing your home.

Are you based in the UK - if so there may be things under the disability discrimination act that might help with work. If you have a long term condition then they have to show that they can't make reasonable adjustment before they dismiss you - I'm not sure if you would quite fall into long term - if you are a member of a union, or can join one they may be able to help.

About 10 years ago there were studies that showed that you were actually best off taking anti-depressents for at least 6 months (could have been a year) otherwise there was an increased probability of a relapse so don't worry if the course lasts more than a few months.