how do i help a friend with depression who won't accept help

[concerned27]

I have a friend who is suffering from severe depression , she is not eating and just wants to be left alone to waste away ,she has told me to leave her alone , she was under the local hospital but now she has said that they have let her go , what can I do ,

[anniebooty]

Hello,

have you ever thought about writing a letter or email to her expressing your concerns. and maybe giving her this website

Anna xxx

[carol62]

Dear concerned27,

I suffer from bipolar disorder and can totally identify with the way your friend is feeling, when I suffer my depressive episodes I also just want to be left alone, to cry, not eat etc, it really can be like being in a deep dark void of hopelessness. You are a good friend to keep on trying to help her. You say her local hospital has "let her go" I'm not sure what you mean by this, do you know if she is on any medication? Has she mentioned or hinted at feeling suicidal? You don't mention whether your friend has family or whether she lives alone but if she lives alone I think it would be wise for you to try to see her daily, if that is possible, it doesn't have to be for long visits just a quick drop in even to check she is still ok. Also if she is still feeling as bad as this maybe you could try and encourage her to see her own GP again as help is available but unfortunately when you are feeling as low as your friend is its unlikely that she will seek help herself, perhaps you could offer to make the appointment for her and even offer to take her to the appointment, wait till she sees the doc and bring her home again. I just know that when I'm down I don't want to do or see anyone and to isolate myself is actually the worst thing I could do even though at the time it's all I want. I wish I had a friend that cared as much as you. Anyway good luck and I hope your friend gets a little better soon.

Carol62 xxx

[melw229]

Hello,

I have severe depression and can totally understand why you're worried about your friend.

When I'm really bad, (am just coming out of a bad patch) I can't cope or deal with anything outside of my home and kind of 'shut myself away' too.

When I'm like that, the only people I can cope with seeing or talking to are the people I live with. I can't answer the phone or go out at all. I find txts a really good way at keeping in touch with people - I don't have to see or speak to anyone then. Maybe this would be a good way of continuing to reach out to your friend? Send a little message to show her you are there for her and you care, then see if you get a response?

I have been exactly where your friend is a few years back, I lost 2 dress sizes in 2 months as couldn't eat. Mine was due to side effects from meds - now I'm on new ones and they work a lot better. Maybe you could try and see if she'll see her GP, or offer to go with her?

There are also a lot of other websites like this one where you can talk to others with the same problems - Mind, the Black Dog are just a couple, plus a lot of groups on

[melw229 in reply to melw229]

facebook that I find help me.

Don't give up on her, you are a great friend and whether she knows it or not, she needs friends like you!

Try and talk to her other friends and family too, if you can. Maybe together you can try and think of ways to help her?

Just take things in small steps - at the moment, from my own experiences even small things like getting out of bed will feel like a huge task for her.

The hardest part is to not give up even if she says that's what she wants.

Please let me know how it goes.

loads of hugs xxx