I exist

[WCCAN]

I feel so alone at times its hard to breathe. I have Asperger's Syndrome so its hard for me to relate or have relationships with people, because of this its like a package deal: depression and anxiety included. All I want to do is just sleep, my college work is falling behind and I know what I need to do to stop it but I just can't bring myself to do it. And to top it all off I'm bi with an extremely homophobic dad, the stress from it all is getting to much. I can't cope with it anymore. Please help me.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi there WCCAN

I'm so sorry you feel so alone and that it's affecting your health! Anxiety and depression can be treated, so please do go and have a chat with your doctor, especially as it is affecting your studies. Explain your tiredness to him/her too as this can be liked to both anxiety and depression.

Try and view your personal sexuality as a separate problem to the above, I'm not sure if you have discussed this with your Father or not, if you have then I understand you concerns.

Chloe

[WCCAN in reply to chloe40]

Hi, thanks for the advice, when I first spoke to my doctor he referred me to CAMHS (child and adolescence mental health services) and they helped me with school stress which was helpful but I've been discharged. Camhs is difficult because they get you to create a goal and once you've reached that they have to discharge you, whether theres still other issues or not. It was helping but after I left my mental health declined, both me and my family are hesitant to got back but we can't handle this on our own anymore.

I've asked my Dad about his views and why he thinks it, I've tried to change the way he sees things but it's just a lost cause. Despite our differing views, I do love him but it's getting harder and harder to be around him. He makes me feel disgusting and to be honest, I hate myself enough without him saying that stuff.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to WCCAN]

Hi @WCCAN

I know of CAMHS and a very good reputation they have but I do understand what you mean. I'm wondering why you are reluctant to try to go back?

You may be of an age that you need to be referred to a Psych team for adults now but you would need to ask your doctors about this, it shouldn't be too difficult to get the help you need. You clearly shouldn't be hating yourself at all and that needs to be addressed before you can have the relationship you want with your Father. Have you heard of family therapy? this may be something else to discuss with your GP.

Take care

Chloe

[Koliadados]

I hope you've realized that as much external factors as there may be that are causing these feelings it is still an internal issue that you are having, whether it is anxiety, depression, or your Asperger's syndrome. Once you learn how to control your emotions in relation to certain situations such as your father being homophobic, you will most likely better your health. Also I'm sorry that you feel so alone, with so many people around us you'd think that a person would never have to feel alone.. Maybe try and relish and in fact that the one person who will always understand and support you is yourself. I myself have a homophobic dad and I know based off of how he has been raised and his beliefs that he would never budge about that topic, his opinion will always stay as it is. Unfortunately, there is no easy way around these type of situations, my only advice to you is to never risk your own happiness to please anyone even it is your own father. Go after what you feel and know is right, whether or not your father supports or knows about it. I may not necessarily be diagnosed with anything, but I also find it hard to communicate with people at times and even all the more when I am overthinking the situation or being highly aware of how different I may appear. Nevertheless, even if you are or are not diagnosed with something you can still have a hard time connecting with people, as I myself do. Give people a chance to get to know more than just your syndrome because I am pretty sure that it isn't all there is to you. Someday someone will learn to love these things about you, however, before anyone is able to do so you have to do it first. Also try and take a small break from some things in your life. I don't think people are aware just how much a small vacation alone can help soothe your mind and help you even see things clearer.