Bigmouth has struck again and has offended a colleague and friend, as Morrissey sings “I’ve got no right to take my place in the human place”. So my deepest apologies to the person involved.
I don’t know if it’s due to my Tourette’s or it’s an unfortunate trait I’ve inherited from my mother but my bigmouth has got me into trouble before then follows the guilt and the worry about the damage that I’ve done to that relationship. Apart from this occasion a couple of incidents stick in my mind the first was when in my first year at secondary school I told a classmate whilst she was tucking into her lunch of faggots, mash, peas and gravy what the ingredients of faggots are, I was given a dressing down from our cookery teacher and my comeuppance was later dished up when I was forced by said cookery teacher to eat a bacon quiche that I had made during during a cookery lesson. (I had already at this early stage in my life decided NOT to eat meat or fish). My mother enjoyed the rest of the quiche for her tea.
Another incident occurred at the wake of a fellow a mancunian and former resident of Whalley Range, my Nana, where my Aunts had decided that my Mum should look after some of my Nana’s paperwork (birth/wedding certificates, photos etc) and of course I blurt out “But she’d loose them” (she’d already “lost” about 3 photo albums of pictures of me, my brothers and cousins) me and my brothers being those present who are aware of my Mum’s hoarding tendencies. My late and sadly missed Uncle/Godfather swiftly told me off telling me to apologise and take back my flippant comment.
These are the type of comments that afterwards you worry about, did Jackie ever eat faggots again? Did Uncle Keith forgive me for that comment about my Mum?
Written by
catherinem
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Wow, I could have written something very similar to this, I am always saying things that I have no idea when they fly out could be offensive. But, like you, I am also very sensitive to the fact I could have upset someone and will stew on that for ages.
My examples off the top of my head would include saying to someone - "I am sorry your pudding was disgusting" now you see apparantly what I should have said was "I am sorry your pudding did not turn out as you had hoped" - but really, I can not see the difference, it was disgusting, so what is the point in ignoring the obvious, we all knew it was disgusting and I was sorry it was.
Or to the women who owns the pub "your hair looks much better, it looked like old rags last time I saw you" - again, was supposed to be a compliment, but then someone told me it was possibly a bit rude. I could make a book of all the stupid things i say.
I often say things in the wrong tone that can cause upset and I have no idea I have used a special tone for it, so that always baffles me.
So yes, I suspect it may well be a bit of a touretty trait. I have now taken to adding "....in a nice way" on the end of the things I say that are upsetting as soon as I see their face of disappointment. Not sure it helps much!
Catherine, my son who has Tourettes often says things that can offend others. The one thing which springs to mind is his reaction to a comment made by my sister some weeks ago (It is worth bearing in mind that my sister has red hair but hates it if anyone dares to refer to it as ginger). She often refers to my son as 'Benjy bunge' which he hates (this is reference to his pet name as a small child of 'Bunjy'. He is now nearly 14) On arrival at our house recently she said 'Hello Benjy bunge' to which he promptly replied ' Hello Ginger minge' ! What can i say!
Bit of a typo there Catherine should be human RACE from The Smiths 'Big Mouth Strikes Again': "I didnt mean it when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head"
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