All Apologies

[catherinem]

I’ve had a strange week, whilst other ticcers have been given a rough time by their tics mine have left me in peace, but with regards to what I have instead I’d rather the tics back. I’ve been coughing so hard it’s been impossible for me to keep much food down, I’ve been aching all over, headaches, sweating profusely and feeling wasted and a whole load of weird dreams. I have a strange fascination with dreams and I’m sure they do reflect you’re inner self. Here’s the first dream which I think is quite telling. So here goes, I’m with my partner and his cousin and we go to see someone, I’ve never met this person before and he lives in a block of low rise council flats, which are quite common in Coventry, as I stand underneath the balcony the person we’re visiting starts to hurl muddy rocks at me whist shouting at me stop swearing, (whilst swearing himself??!!!) My partner just stands there and shrugs his shoulders, his cousin has disappeared. “aren’t you going to help me?” he just stands there, I pick up the rocks and try and throw them back up at him, as I’m loosing this battle and I’m on my own I leave, I take off in the cousin’s van and have a drive around for a while. I return and they’re waiting for me “where did you go?” It turns out the stone hurler’s 18 year old Lithuanian girlfriend was jealous of me. (???!!!) Sort it out, guys! I suppose that dream does reflect that I am quite an independent person who when as they say “the s*** hits the fan” ends up dealing with it on her own.

The second dream isn’t so odd, I was walking down the street an there over the road larger than life, dressed in sumptuous purple velvet was Jimi Hendrix. Usually, in waking life when I’ve met famous types I’ve respected their privacy and left them alone, I spent about an hour sitting next to Griff Rhys Jones in a restaurant, the only one I spoke to was Jools Holland, after all he did initially did think I was Spanish, well I was depping for the usual bass player of a Cuban salsa band. Back to Hendrix, there he was, I asked him if I could take his photograph, he said “only if it’s a black and white photo” (??!!!)

In between throwing up, mad coughing fits and napping I’ve been reading “Heavier than Heaven” by Charles R Cross, Kurt Cobain’s biography. When I saw my consultant last I mentioned, that in his book he said that Kurt Cobain had TS. tourettes-action.healthunlo... Of course in a pig headed kind of way I had to try and either find some evidence to support this claim or dispel it. He was right, being the TS genius he is, he was right….Kurt Corbain had tics around the age of 10, it doesn’t say if this was TS or not but he was diagnosed with ADHD previously and was taking Ritalin. (Ritalin side-effect perhaps or TS?) Does anybody else have any thoughts on this? Apart from the fact that Dr Cavanna is nearly always right. It would be interesting to look into the lives of some other musicians that died early, (or even still living) who had chaotic lives and battled with addiction and mental health problems and see if they had tics or TS as children. Much is made of the tics and the OCD in biographies by ticcers but not much about some of the other problems that us ticcers encounter.