So I am back and blogging again after what feels like weeks and weeks of absolute hell. The Citalopram withdrawal did not happen successfully and I am now on Prozac... I was only supposed to be on it for two weeks but it seems like, as usual, the shrink has forgotten to see me and help me begin to reduce it. Great so now I can get addicted to Prozac as well.
The Prozac did get rid of all the bad symptoms of the SSRI discontinuation syndrome which included FOUL mood swings, rages, smashing various items, self harm and strange electric shocks from head to toe. Strangely enough it seemed to get rid of my tics as well... but I think that might have been a coincidence because they have now returned with a vengeance. Did I miss them? No not really. I enjoyed the three or so days where I felt almost 'mild' again.
An incident happened during the withdrawal involving a member of staff (think back to the Cineworld incident...). Apparently I did not give enough evidence to support my claims that this staff member held me without good reason and now they've dropped the case. The good news is though that the care provider has decided that he will no longer work with ME. That doesn't protect anyone else, but I'm learning not to bother giving a toss because even when you do the honest thing and tell the truth no one will believe you so what's the point? I suppose another bit of good has come out of it though because the safeguarding team has now told my care provider that ALL staff who are to work with me in my home must now attend a training session on Tourettes. This, hopefully, will stop incidents like Cineworld happening again.
I am also being left in limbo as to what is going to happen to me in the near future. I know that I don't particularly want to stay where I am because it is unsuited to my needs as all the facilities (bar the bathroom thank GOD!!!) are shared. I feel that I need to have my own home with my own kitchen, lounge and bedroom. I am struggling to cope with the other residents as well which isn't good for me or them. Frankly I would be most happy to have a small bungalow in the middle of nowhere with a nice garden for the bunnies and a small moped to get around on... but no one is willing to fund this so it looks like I have to go into sheltered accomodation. The current care provider doesn't have the facilities set up for this (why!?) so my social worker is currently looking into other care providers. This means I don't know where I will be living as it is unlikely that there is something like this in St. Neots (where I would live in an ideal world). I have been told I might have to go elsewhere. This leaves me with two problems...
Work and college (yes I finally got accepted on a level 2 IT course!!!). My workplace is in Godmanchester (near Huntingdon) and my college is in Bedford. This makes St. Neots the ideal location because it is in between both Bedford and Huntingdon. It is possible however, that I might have to move either further north of St. Neots, thus meaning I can't go to Bedford college, or move further south, meaning I can't work at the animal shelter any more. Either way I am going to lose something. I have decided that if I have to leave my job, I will adopt some spiny mice!
On a positive note, one of the does in our care gave birth to three kittens! They are three weeks old and have just started to come out of their nest! They look like tiny little bunnies!
On behalf of my daughter aged 11