I can un-categorically say that the depression is worse than the tics. To say that I’m feeling C%^&! is an understatement I have fairly frequent waves of depression like this where I don’t just feel down I feel suicidal, but I do feel reassured by the fact that if I put my head down this wave of depression should lift and leave me unscathed by my own actions as my thoughts of suicide never get any further than that just thoughts that take over everything like an attack of bindweed to the soul. I haven’t done anything today, I’ve managed to shower and dress but despite now having some red paint my lounge is still has patches of unpainted wall, I can just about muster enough energy to type this and watch the clouds go by from my bedroom window whilst lying wrapped up in a blanket on my bed whilst listening to Mozart’s Requiem. I wish there was a pill or something that would instantly make me feel better as I just feel like crying.
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