I feel so hopeless and scared.: I need some... - Tinnitus UK

Tinnitus UK

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I feel so hopeless and scared.

Moonlover98 profile image
19 Replies

I need some advice or comfort.. I'm writing this while crying every liquid I have in my body, literally.Let's start with the fact that I grew up with music (and live music).

It has always been a very important part of my life and still is, without music I would not be here right now because it has literally saved my life.

For a month now, however, I have been suffering from mild tinnitus in my left ear, it doesn't particularly bother me because during the day I don't hear it (apart from very rare increases of a few seconds, but I don't know what they are due to...), at night, however, I always have the fan on because of the heat and the noise masks it. When I am in total silence I hear it, very little, but I hear it.

So the problem for me is not so much the annoyance of the sound, but something else.

I have 2 concerts scheduled for next year, 1 of which I am 100% sure I will go.

It is my favorite band and not going is NOT an option, I would never forgive myself.

The "problem" is that before I got tinnitus I made a promise to myself to be in the front row because I want to experience the thrill of being a few feet away from them.

It is one of my biggest dreams, but as I read on various forums I am reading horror stories that are making me DEEPLY anxious and I feel like I have to give up my dream.

I'm reading about people who despite putting the plugs in, even staying away from the speakers, notice a spike (also permanent) afterwards. People who say "no don't go, it will make your whole life worse" and people who say of course stay away from the speakers.

I never go to concerts UNLESS it's an artist I really love, and the band I'm going to see next year is very important to me.

I don't want to give up the front row for this one..what do you guys recommend? Could I go with good earplugs and stand in the front row? 😣 Maybe not directly in front of the speakers.

Plus tonight I'm going to a mini festival near my house and there will be rock music, what do you recommend?

I feel like Tinnitus robbed me of my youth and dreams.

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Moonlover98
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19 Replies
perlcoder profile image
perlcoder

Hello Moonlover98,

Everyone has their own perspective, but for very many people (including me - more than 20 years ago), the onset of noticeable T is a kind of bereavement. Something vitally important to us has been lost, possibly forever, and it is very difficult to come to terms with that. One has to grieve. This is made worse by the unpredictable nature of the condition - will it get worse and what can I do to avoid that?

You are at a very early stage in dealing with T. It may just go away. Give yourself time and self care. Further, I don't know if you have had any tests or diagnosis, but that is an obvious and vital step. T can sometimes have treatable causes, yours may be in that category.

Next, and I know it is hard advice to take at 20, but if any concert is one that you anticipate might leave you with ringing in your ears, even if you don't have T, then it is already too loud. That is just a fact. No unprotected front row - or any other row - is worth the risk. Nor are headphones or a loud sound system at home. Every T sufferer who didn't understand this reality when they were younger (I didn't) now wishes that they had known, and taken precautions. Learn from our suffering.

Finally, I believe that many musicians now use sophisticated ear plugs, moulded to their own ears and capable of attenuating the sound without losing its quality. I have never tried them. You will find them described by musicians, some of whom have T, in various youtube videos. I am sure they are expensive. I am sure they are worth it. Miss a few gigs and spend the money you save on some of those.

That is the best I can offer.

Good luck.

Moonlover98 profile image
Moonlover98 in reply to perlcoder

I mean the concert is next year probably in summer or even later, and by that time I think I'll have the custom musician earplugs.Obviously I would NEVER go on the first rows without protections, and honestly I always avoid the first rows because I don't particularly like them, this is literally the only concert where I really want to be at barrier (with protection obv).

I always take care of my ears, but I can't give up that opportunity💔

In the meantime yes, I hope it will go away. Actually the very mild ring that I have now popped up after 2 (vigorous) flushing done by my ENT, because I had ear wax build up (that would cause a wooshing sound in my left ear)

Suz_2 profile image
Suz_2

yes its difficult , but your health is more important . I would not sit at front row and find a way to be there without aggravating the T ( like u have indicated) . Hopes and dreams can change thoughout life and you will find others which can be fulfilling while being careful about the T.

Moonlover98 profile image
Moonlover98 in reply to Suz_2

Do you think that even with earplugs it would aggravate the T?..Idk, I'm getting so many different opinions but I know what I really want.

I could give up everything, but if it's something that I really want I don't think that it will change..it's so frustrating💔

Kellythecat-74 profile image
Kellythecat-74 in reply to Moonlover98

Sadly T is often life changing. We may have to give up something we love. I loved loud music but it made my ringing worse. The computer , couldn't be on it for long cos that made it worse. Musical shows and the Cinema, basically anywhere noisy . Just bear in mind , that LOUD music can make T worse , so you might regret it after the concert , but then its too late . I have watched a musical with wax earplugs, basically I couldn't hear much but enjoyed watching . You could always try your musician earplugs at home just for a few minutes at a time and see how it goes.

Threeminuteboy profile image
Threeminuteboy

One thing do know for sure is that anxiety and stress will make tinnitus worse , my advice would be go to the concert but stand back away from the speakers. Carry on doing what makes you feel good just make some adjustments so your ears aren’t being blasted out .

ZolaPet profile image
ZolaPet

loud noises = irreversable ear damage = tinnitus ………. This is a fact

If u must go to the concert wear earplugs and industrial ear protectors or headphones

Moonlover98 profile image
Moonlover98 in reply to ZolaPet

I'll def war earplugs

Snafflesnap profile image
Snafflesnap

My advice is to think very carefully about decisions you make now which could affect your quality of life in later years.

D-w-L2023 profile image
D-w-L2023

I really understand. I was a gigging musician for nearly 30 years (it's where my tinnitus came from!) but had to give up playing live 20 years ago as I'd get a spike the day after a gig. I had been wearing specialist moulded ear plugs for nearly 10 years but I was still getting the spike. What I'd say about the specialist plugs is that they tend to dull the sound but keep a lot of the frequency range whereas the cheap foam ones reduce the sound level and cut out the high frequencies which are the ones I think did the damage for me. Unfortunately they make everything a mush and it took a lot of pleasure out of playing.

It's terribly sad that you're getting this at 20. I remember at that age getting as close to the speakers as I could. It didn't seem to matter at the time but I'm sure it didn't help my hearing.

In my experience, ear plugs won't aggravate the tinnitus and they will certainly be better than not wearing them. As much as you want to be close to the band it might be better to be at the back of the room. Only you can decide what you're prepared to deal with.

Personally I don't go to any gigs that I think might cause me a spike.

Best wishes and I hope you find a way of coming to terms with it . There is a lot of useful information at tinnitusuk (do you have something similar in Italy?).

Sonnybee profile image
Sonnybee

Hi there. I played in a heavy metal band for years, still do sometimes. I also go to a lot of concerts and gigs. I have some hearing loss, plus have had tinnitus for a year now. When we first get tinnitus we spend a lot of time avoiding things that may make it worse. I too worried that my music was finished. After I learned to cope with it, sound therapy, cbt etc, I realised I can still do all those things. I personally select my gigs a bit better now. I don't go to everything, only the ones I REALLY want to. I always stand at the sound desk( the back). That way I can step out for a while if I feel I need a break. I also wear musician standard ear plugs, i bought them on amazon, they fit around your inside ear, they're transparent, you can't see them, plus they drop the sound by about 60db ,but still give you good sound quality. Wish I had worn these a long time ago, for obvious reasons! Go to your gig, take precautions, and don't stress. Take care.

Moonlover98 profile image
Moonlover98 in reply to Sonnybee

I basically NEVER go to concerts, like you I only go if there's my favourite artist/band and things like that, so maybe it's something that happens one time in a year. Or I can even go a few years without concerts, cause as I said I only go if there's an artist I love.In every concert I went in the past I always stood in the back or I was always seated because yeah I enjoyed it, but I didn't feel the need to be close to them.

This time I want to be close to the stage because the singer goes down to touch the fans and hugs me, basically everyone in the front row gets to touch him or hug him. I know it sounds cheesy and stupid but that would make my entire life and I really don't want to five that up..I was so excited before tinnitus, I literally couldn't wait for that day but now i feel like I've been robbed.

Sallybones profile image
Sallybones

also some medications can cause tinnitus even aspirin. So if you take any meds or similar check them out.

Harper8 profile image
Harper8

Here’s some information from RNIB about ear defenders which mentions musicians ear plugs. Worth a read. rnid.org.uk/information-and....

Chumpiechops profile image
Chumpiechops

Hi Moonlover98, when I was first diagnosed, in June last year, I thought that I wouldn’t be able to go to the things I love such as football and Gigs.

We had tickets to see Nile Rogers and I decided to research ear protection and was recommended some by Alpine. I used them and noticed no difference in the music quality or to my T.

I have booked to see my favourite band, the concert is next January and I can’t wait, I won’t be right at the front (that’s standing only) plus seeing a tribute version this week.

Take advice from people on here, they are wise and knowledgeable and have 1st hand experience of how T can affect you if you let it.

Moonlover98 profile image
Moonlover98 in reply to Chumpiechops

Can I ask you who you're seeing in January?

Btw thank you, I'm basically following every advice, the one that me and my mind don't wanna accept is giving up the first row🥲

Chumpiechops profile image
Chumpiechops

Depeche Mode, loved them for over 40 years now

daverussell profile image
daverussell

Alpine MusicSafe Ear Plugs Hearing Protection for Musicians - 2 Filter Sets and Accessories to Enhance Your Music-Making Experience - Hypoallergenic and Reusable earplugs amzn.eu/d/9AQZmoq

bournville profile image
bournville

Hi totally get why you want to go.

Trouble is most rock gigs are going to peak around 110-120 decibels. It’s unfortunate that the music industry is completely unregulated in terms of volume.

The alpine earplugs mentioned above claim -22db reduction so that takes it down to just under 100db ish still way over the safe volume levels of around 85db or 80db to be on the safe side.

If you do to the gig go get a pair of custom moulded blanks - no filter just two solid lumps of fitted silicone. This should reduce the volume by minus 33db or so. If you do go down the front stay in the middle not next to the speakers. Standing in the middle near the mixing desk is also safer and should sound better.

Alternatively get a pair of peltor x5a ear defenders - you may feel like a chump with them on but they should protect your ears.

Also take a break at the gig - get out of the main gig area and go to the bar for 10 mins at least once or twice if you can just dont just endure 2 hours of solid gig noise.

Hope this helps your with your decision and approach if you do go.

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