Do you ever feel you can't go on???

[AdamfromAus]

I've had T for about 20 years now (32yrs old) during that time I've had phases where it makes me anxious and I can't focus on anything else. Usually it passes and goes back into the background always there but not intrusive. A few months back it came on again, all the same emptions, worse then ever never going to get better life is over etc. I recently went on a trip around Europe with my family and it seemed to subside, I could sleep with no pills and while still loud it wasn't bothering me. Fast forward I've been home a week and now they seem worse then ever, I have a noise maker (crickets) which usually help but now nothing is. I take half a sleeping tablet but that effect is starting to wear off and I'm getting to a point where I'll need more. I honestly feel if it kept up like this I could do something drastic. I have a loving partner and family so it would be selfish but who knows what a tired emotion person could do? Any advice??

Desperate

[Angela-H]

Hi Adam and welcome to this friendly forum. We have all had those dark thoughts that our lives are ruined and what is the point, but it will settle down for you again. Tinnitus spikes and then it gives us those wonderful times when we forget that it's there.

It seems that you need to see your GP for anti anxiety meds and perhaps a new prescription for sleeping pills. Do you wear hearing aids and white noise maskers?

If you search this forum for the posts of michaelee you will find good advice. We are all in this together, and we survive despite the T.

After a holiday, when we get back into the normal routine and perhaps feeling a bit down, it is easy for our T to come to the fore again. Try to plan some nice activities with your family to push the T into the background.

Best wishes, Angela xx

[AdamfromAus in reply to Angela-H]

Hi Angela

Thank you for the positive thoughts. Everyday seems like a battle. I'm currently taking Zoloft which appeared to help for a period of time but maybe it's time to explore something different. I also have a white noise generator but even that isn't working this time around (and it drives my partner up the wall) never explored hearing aid before (Everytime my ears are checked my hearing is good) do you mean a wearable white noise generator?

[Angela-H in reply to AdamfromAus]

Yes Adam, I was firstly given a white noise generator (hearing aid) for my left ear where there is no hearing loss. I have a hearing aid for right ear hearing loss. michaelee recently posted about how a positive mindset is necesssry to tame our tinnitus. Honestly I didn't want to live when I first got T. You have tamed it before, and you will do again. Love and best wishes, Angela xx

[AdamfromAus in reply to Angela-H]

What do you think kept you going when you first got it? Like even when I try watch TV it's bothering me. Can I also ask how long you took zopy for? I've taken mainly 3.5 but sometimes 7mg for the last week and am worried I could become addicted. Is it something you can take short-med term?

[Angela-H in reply to AdamfromAus]

Hi Adam, I took Zopiclone for 6 weeks, with the dosage being reduced over that time. My GP refused to allow me to have it any longer than that. I think that during that 6 weeks the Mirtazapine began to kick in and calmed me down too. Also, I got the sound oasis machine from the BTA, and listened to a BTA relaxation cd every afternoon. After 2 months of hell, I was given the hearing aid and white noise masker. Very gradually my tinnitus became bearable. At times, my head had been so painful that I was having to put an ice-pack on it.

You have habituated before and you will do again. We all have to learn to live alongside our T, or as I see it "live through our tinnitus". I have to make a conscious effort to deliberately focus on the world outside of my ears/head to push the beast into the background. Most days it is quiet, or quieter, and some days not so good. Hope you are finding this forum a great help with all the positive posts and advice. Love and best wishes, Angela xx