I have got to say goodbye to by beautiful fur baby after 20 years

Good evening everyone,

Another black day, on Thursday I have got to take my beautiful Josie back to the vets, so he can put her to sleep. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this, how can I possibly take her their, knowing he is going to end her life. My dad doesn't understand, I just get shouted at :<

She has arthritis and the pain seems to be worse for her, normally she has acupuncture but that has become more painful so she won't tolerate it, I did ask if I could try some pain relief for her, he has given her a tiny bit, it has given me an extra week to say goodbye.

She is still exactly the same, always purring and happy to see me, she is a lovely cat and nothing has changed.

I can not bear to take her Thursday.

Dr Peatfield always said emotional stress is the worse kind of stress, so no doubt my health will suffer.

After all I have had to put up with in my life, I really hoped I would be saved the trauma of having an animal put to sleep but no, it seems not,

Thank you for listening

Best wishes

97 Replies

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  • Kitten-Whiskers, I'm so sorry for you. That's such a hard thing to do, but it is a very loving act to spare Josie pain and suffering, even though it breaks your heart. ((( KW )))

  • Thank you Clutter

  • So sorry Kitten-whiskers, it is so hard for us but the right thing to do for our beloved pets. I had to put my doggie down last week too and thought I was gradually getting over it...... yes emotional knocks are the worst..... (((big hugs))) Jane xx

  • Sorry to hear about your Doggie Sparerib, I can't think of anything worse.

    I hope you feel better soon - my thoughts are with you x

  • So sorry ... I know how heart breaking it is to lose a much loved cat :( xx

  • Thank you Raggydolly, sorry for your lose : <

  • I am SO sorry we had to take our old cat to the vet a few months ago. He lost his sight then he lost his love of life. For a long time he made the effort to speak to us even though we often had to go to him then one day I realised it was just too much effort for him to even cope with speaking to us and I knew the time had come. I said to the vet that every time I got home and went to look for him I thought he might be dead and the vet said 'you mean you hoped he would to spare you this' and really that was it. It is such a horrible, horrible decision to have to make.

    If she is still purring and showing an interest in life could you wait a little bit longer? My little cat definitely wasn't but if she is purring and happy to see you then maybe you could hang on? You will know when the time is right. If you do take her on Thursday try to be brave if you can, I managed to rub Frank's little nose and kept talking to him all the time right to the very end, somehow I felt I didn't want to worry him by crying and being upset. My other half stood out of sight quietly howling. It is such a sad time.

    I know I have had very close relatives who have died (and I know to people who don't have pets it probably sounds terrible) but I've been more upset about the deaths of my lovely cats than I have been about the relatives.

    (((Big hugs to you ))) at this horrible time.

  • Fruitandnutcase, thank you so much got your reply. I cried when reading it, how awful for you and your other half. I am sorry if my post has re-opened painful memories - I should have thought of that before posting : <

    I do completely agree with you, Josie is her normal self at home and appears to be very happy, she has suddenly got very grumpy when going to the vets, she did appear to be in pain while at the vets but as soon as she got in, she was absolutely fine, she still has a great appetite - around 6 pouches a day with bickies.

    Josie has always been a lovely cat, I as really attached to her, it will certainly break my heart when she does go to heaven.

    It's a horrible time

  • I recently said goodbye to my Labbie who was 15 and my pony who was 31. I'd owned both all their lives.

    I am sorry you are losing your fur baby but to my way of thinking this is the most important and often kindest thing you can do for any pet. They count on us for their care and that includes the toughest decision to make. You will absolutely know in your heart when it is the right thing to do for them. Them being the important part at this sad time.

    Be strong before, be sad afterwards. Xx

  • Thank you Mickinoo1, What a lovely post. So sorry to hear about your loses.

    I do not feel the time is right, because she is still her beautiful happy self but I fear that without the acupuncture the medication alone will not be strong enough. It gives me a few weeks to build up the strength, unless the medication gets increased and she is ok

    Thank you x

  • I hold all my creatures it is vital for me that I am the last person they see. That they know I am right there with them as I always have been. My vet has seen many of my creatures over the last 15 years and absolutely supports my request.

    Each to their own on that one though. :)

  • Hello Nickinoo1,

    That is very sweet, I would like to be holding Josie, if the worst has to happen, but I don't think it would do her any good with me standing their crying my eyes out.

    it is such a horrible thing to have to do. I admire you for being able to do that x

  • Bless you - you must do as feels right for you. Ask your vet perhaps if he will give Josie a sedative injection first. It takes five minutes to work and will allow Josie to be relaxed. all my creatures have one of those.

    I wish you a special time with your fur baby for now.

  • My son recently had his beloved dog put down due to seizures. You said kitten you didn't feel the time is right, my son was in the same position for months as his dog kept perking up before another seizure attack took place, then his pet would perk up yet again, he decided the animal did have a quality to it's life and so persevered. He said to me "mum I will know when the time is right to end his life" and one day recently he rang to say this is it mum the right time has come, and so he let go of holding on and made the right decision. He has no regrets, he knew as we all did that he had given his dog a really good loving life for 15 years and this has helped my son to cope with grieving, he has his moments of course of missing his companion but by listening to his own voice of when the time was right it has helped him to move on.

  • Thank you Joyla, I think I will know when the time is right, but going to the vets to have it done, is another thing. I admire your son for how he dealt with It.

    I really am trying but while she is still happy and her quality of life for her age is good then I will keep her hear with me x

  • I said goodbye to my beautiful 19 year old cat Jazz two weeks ago. I know she had a wonderful life and didn't suffer too much but it doesn't make it any easier. You will have many happy memories but you have to make the right decision first. Let the tears flow, it will help. X

  • Thank you Karena13, So sorry to hear about your lose - it is one of the worst things you can do, even if in a way it is an act of kindness.

    The thought of being without my faithful loving friend is a bit much at the minute x

  • Hiya, I read your post with tears streaming down my face, as I too had to let my beloved dog go. She was fifteen and a half and after a fall knew it was time to take her to the vet. It absolutely broke my heart but I knew it was the right thing to do for her. Be strong, let the tears flow then you will be able to move on with your life, remembering all the good times.

  • Thank you Leojac3, your support is much appreciated in this horrible time x

  • I recently supported my friend take the decision to put her dog to sleep. Doggie was like a child for her after 15 years of failed IVF yielded no children. Yes, 15 years. I told her that she absolutely must get another dog as soon as she felt she could and that Doggie would have wanted her to continue to have love. Doggie was put to sleep and my friend was heartbroken. We were there for her.

    After a while, she decided to get Leon. He is the same breed as Doggie. He doesn't replace Doggie but he does give her as much love. She can also remember Doggie through Leon. Be kind to your cat. And then be kind to yourself.

    H

  • Thank you Halinka, you sound like a great friend. Thank you for your post, I really do appreciate it x

  • Thinking of you, have been through the same thing x

  • Thank you Wednesday, sorry you have been through it to, I was hoping Josie would pass away in her sleep, as I hope I do but it rarely seems to happen.

    Take Care

    Debs x

  • I'm so sorry but remember you gave her a good life , you also gave her all the love and this is love too, to let her go when she's in so much pain. Sending you big hugs , be strong

  • Thank you Lola1956, really appreciate the hugs x

  • I had to do the same with my cat, her kidneys had failed and she had to be put to sleep. Its traumatic but you can't let her suffer any more. I am so sorry this has happened I would not wish it on my worst enemy its horrible.

  • Thank you Glyisrose,

    Sorry you had to go through it as well, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy either - it is so traumatic and takes so long to get over, well not get over but get to a point where you focus on all the fantastic times.

  • Oh dear Kitten-whiskers, that would have been a hard thing for you to do yesterday. We all grow attached to our pets and they become a part of our family life. Your poor cat was in pain but now you have the pain and she is pain-free.

    Be kind to yourself as grieving can take a while, but I hope in the end you will remember all the love you gave and received from your lovely little cat.

    Big ((((((hugs)))))) are on their way to you right now. xxx

  • Thank you Glo42, yes I could not have done that yesterday. I want chance to say goodbye, but firstly give the medication a chance to, the vet was not hopefully but I had to try. Thank you for the hugs, really needed them xx

  • I'm sorry to hear this kitten-whiskers. I had the same problem last year with my 20-year-old beloved cat. I had hoped that she would just go to sleep and not wake but when she started to show signs of distress I called the vet. He came to our house and gave her a sedative before putting her to sleep; she was on our bed. It was terrible but the decision had to be made as it was unfair to keep her suffering just because we could not bear to part with her. We know that we outlive our pets but it is always hard.

    After an interval of 10 months we have just been given two adorable kittens. We still miss our baby but were ready to take on twins, who are an absolute delight.

    Time does heal.

    Best wishes

  • Thank you Penny, that sounds like an awful situation, I can see that it is a kindness if they are suffering so much.

    I am glad you have been able to move forward, tiny kittens, how adorable x

  • Oh you poor thing. I had to have my little dog Lady put to sleep a couple of years ago and it broke my heart. It's so hard for you to do this but it's so much better than to see your little pet suffer. Hope you get some comfort from knowing you're not alone and we are always here for each other. Thinking of you. Mauds

  • Bless you Mauds, thank you very much x

  • It's awful, I know. I thought I was gong to lose mine last week, but he's pulled through so far. I still haven't forgiven myself for doing that to my last cat, Poly, more than 10 years ago even though she had gone blind after an operation and wouldn't eat (and wanted to go).

    Just remember that your Josie will be going across the Rainbow Bridge, her health restored, to play with all the other cats, and she is loved and cared for. My Poly will welcome her.

    Perhaps you can give a home to an unlucky cat or kitten who has not been so fortunate.

  • Good evening Angel_ of_ the_ North,

    Thank you so much for your reply. I hope you kitty continues pulling through.

    It is horrible that you had to do that ten years ago, I can clearly see that it was an act of kindness and love, but I also know if I have to do that next week, I will feel exactly the same as you.

    Josie's sister went to heaven on the 15th October 2014 at 2:05pm and still to this day I feel so responsible, I never realised that she was ill, until one evening I saw her laying on the table panting, in the morning I took her to the vet, to be told she had a tumour on her lung, along the way I found out she also had an overactive Thyroid, which in all honesty probably caused the tumour - ao clearly it was completely my fault and i know I will take that to my grave, I remember the day so clearly, I rushed Jessie to the vets because she was yelping, then on the vets table she starting sicking up blood, so she was rushed out the room before I got to say goodbye, she was put on an antibotic drip, and I went home as the vet suggested, five mins after i got in the house, the phone rang and the vet told me to get down as soon as possible as she was dying, but I never made it, she had already gone to heaven, the vet said she couldn't breath., so i never got to say goodbye either.

    While at the vets I couldn't hold in my tears as Jessie lay on the table looking distressed, the vet understood but my dad just kept having a go at me for being upset but I couldn't help it, I still think of her and miss her.

    Josie is still happy and purring, I don't understand why she has turned so grumpy towards the vets, I will keep a close eye on her and pray this medication works, even if I get a few more month with her.

    I loved what you said about the Rainbow Bridge.

    Hope your kitty keeps improving

    Best wishes

    Debs

  • I always think it's my fault too, but it isn't really. Many animals don't let you know that there is anything wrong, and often the vet doesn't know either. My cat had acute pancreatitis, but the vet diagnosed hyperthyroid (bloods said not), then a blockage from something he'd eaten. Only when he had an xray and ultrasound did they find the problem with his pancreas and confirmed by bloods. He hated the vet hospital, bit out his IV and attacked the staff. He wouldn't eat for them, either, so I thought I'd lose him. The second he got home, he started eating again. They just associate the vet with pain. If Josie seems happy, I'd hang on for a bit (that way you'll be prepared). One of my previous cats had arthritis and used to get stuck to the carpet as she couldn't retract her claws, bless. but she lived three years with that problem and just went outside one day and went to sleep. She was almost 19.

  • Good evening Angel of the North,

    It certainly wasn't your fault, your obviously a loving owner, maybe I am a little hard on myself to, Jessie did hide it very well, I still feel I should have known : <

    Josie does seem happy at home, tonight when I got home from work, I went to see her, asleep on her bed, she knew I was their, one eye pinged open, then the other, she started purring, I got my usual kisses and nuzzles, she rolled on her back and let me rub her tummy and was purring as loud as ever, she has got to go back to the vets Monday, I am dreading it, it is only to have her nails clipped (she has always hated that) but the way she is with the vets now, I would rather wait in the car ( of course I won't) I will be in the room with her praying she doesn't get nasty

    Best wishes

    Debs x

  • Being upset at the veterinarian's is quite normal. Is that where she had the acupuncture treatments? They can howl from fear as well. We had an old cat that could hardly walk from old age I guess but it didn't seem to bother him as he hobbled around the neighborhood. I hope you are certain about the pain. Cats usually try to hide it. I just don't want you to have any regrets.

  • Good afternoon Heloise, Josie does have the acupuncture at the vets, she used to always be a bit grumpy but the last couple of months she becomes very aggressive and gets so angry - it doesn't matter what she goes for - she is already fully worked up before she even gets out the cage.

    I would have regrets if I did put her to sleep now because at home she is absolutely fine, that is why I asked the vet for pain relief, if the problem was purely pain, then logically if she is having pain relief then once thats all in place, she should go back to tolerating the acupuncture if require.

    She is sound asleep now and looks so peaceful and not in any pain, so I do not understand why she is playing up so much at the vets x

  • I would trust Josie. Obviously something goes on at the vets that she dislikes. I know it is hard to interpret but if it is only at the vets that she gets that way, it may also be a specific person or another animal that once caused her some aggravation.

    I still regret my Rusty's euthanisation. He did have an episode at home which made me think he was having a stroke. But he got up the next morning and seemed normal. Then he was ill again so I took him to the vet where he seemed to get worse and he howled and howled and instead of thinking he was very scared, I thought he was in pain. I should have brought him home to make sure and to this day I shed a tear over it. Don't make my mistake please. There little lives are so important to us, aren't they?

  • Hello Heloise,

    What a horrible situation, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry : <

    It is very hard to interpret, that's why we pay vets, but after an animal gets over a certain age, it seems to get offered far to often, he has mentioned on a number of occasions over the years for my beautiful Josie, but like humans they have bad days and then perk up.

    Did the vet know what was wrong with Rusty? you obviously gave Rusty a lovely life and that you should be proud of.

    I really aprreciate you sharing your information and I am really very sorry this has brought up horrible memories for you, after recieving all this fantastic support and advice I do not feel like I am doing the wrong thing and I will do everything I can to hold on to my precious Josie until I am certain that she is suffering but It will be my choice and not the vets.

    Josie is 93 (in human years) so is not going to be in perfect health but if she is purring and happy to see me, and of course still enjoying her food then she stays here with me.

    There little lives are so important, they only get a short time.

    I am really very sorry about your lose - it's so horrible xx

  • I'm not sure vets know better than we do. I'll tell you, the doctor did not know my children (when ill) better than I did. I'll bet on YOUR instincts over any professional. I did not have them do any exploration when Rusty died. I was too heartbroken but if you want to hear a sadder story: My Okie was the last cat I owned and he died in February and the tainted gluten from China was discovered that month when test cats died but didn't get out to the public. I had just started feeding Okie the Iams packets but didn't notice he had been drinking more and more water. It was summer and hot and I thought it was evaporating. When I found him dead behind the sofa I was horrified. This is something I've never gotten over. I kept track on a website of owners who had lost animals and it was in the thousands and yet nothing was done to the company in the U.S. that sold it. Yahoo was going to bring a class action suit but nothing became of that either. It not only broke my heart but angered me beyond belief.

    I really think it also deteriorated my health.

    We must maintain our equilibrium so I hope you deal with this in the best way possible.

    I don't mind talking about it. It reminds me of the kind of world we live in.

  • Oh my goodness Heloise, that is absolutely shocking, poor Okie, I was unaware of this, in feburary i was still really ill, so it took all my efforts just to face the day.

    I am not suprised it effected your health - not only the trauma but also all that anger, gods know how you would deal with that. I hope your health is improving now?

    I could not agree more with you, i have had bad experiences with doctors, one of which nearly cost me my toe, one wrongly diagnosed my little cousin almost costing him his life etc, so I do not trust a doctor opinion. It seems they can't even tell when a human is dead (that story about that poor lady from Cambridge)

    This is something that I hope will be helpful for you - (If i remember rightly It came out of my M Fennal book) she

    said take a situation where you blame your self for something, like in my case, not noticing how Ill my Jessie was (Josie's sister) and all the blame and guilt I feel, take the exact same situation and place one of your friends in the position you were in and she reacts in the same way, and then ask your self how would you treat your friend? would you support your friend or would you treat her the way you are treating your self.

    I found that to be helpful in coping with the loss of my Jessie, It has not removed all my guilt but I can see how hard I have been on myself.

    Best wishes

  • Hey, I was supposed to be comforting you:) That is a wonderful sentiment and I shall remember it. I do hope Josie can carry on.

    There is a man who formulated pet food that he feels will extend the life of our pets by years. I was trying to get my daughter to look at it for her cat. It is quite interesting if you want to look into it. I almost considered getting another cat if I thought it were true.

    cornucopiapetfoods.com/

  • Hello Heloise,

    You have comforted me : > and given lots of useful information over the years.

    That does look interesting but a bit pricey.

    I get all my cat food from Zooplus - they really are excellent - lots of different food for differen't aliments, vitamin pastes, toys, beds, even food fit for human consumption - so much choice - Josie loves it so much, that is why she will tuck in to 6 pouches a day and bickies : >

    My three tear cupboard in the kitchen is stocked up with loads of varity for Josie.

    I hope my Josie continues for a while, I have to face the vet tomorrow - really not looking forward to that

  • Zooplus sounds great,too. You stay strong tomorrow and do what YOU feel is right.

  • Will do Heloise - thank you : >

  • Hi Kitten, wondering how things worked out for you and I hope it wasn't a painful experience.

  • Good evening Heloise,

    That is very kind of you to ask : > The most painful thing was the price, it was steep even by there prices.

    Josie wasn't quite as bad, he got one paw done, before she starting hissing at him and getting grumpy - thankfully there were only two to do.

    He does want to see her next week to see how the new medication is doing, but if he is just going to look at her, then maybe I could get a way with just ringing him instead : >

  • Oh, it does sound like an ordeal for both of you. You are taking good care of your baby:) I hope the new medication works for you but I like to try everything else first. I have faith you feel that way, too.

  • Hello Heloise,

    I couldn't agree more : >

    I did ask about homeopathic remedies but I think he felt that wouldn't be strong enough.

    The dose of new medication is only tiny - 3ml to last twenty days.

    I did try to attach a photo of her but it seems to take up the entire screen, not sure what I am doing wrong.

    I hope you are feeling well : >

  • Oh, I'd love to see her. I also tried to post a photo of myself actually and it was too large. I had cropped it and then I tried sizing it. I couldn't get it to work either.

    I am feeling well enough. I did golf and walked 18 holes last week but I'm never sure if I can count on that. Once in a while I'll be exhausted for the entire day. But it's okay, I don't aspire to climb Mt. Everest, teehee.

  • Good morning Heloise, Yes that is the same problem I get with the pic size, my Josie has such big brown eyes and her pink nose has a little grey dot in it, completely central. Good for you - well done : >, sounds like you are getting your health under control. do you take Armour (f you don't mind me asking?)

  • When I became hypothyroid, I didn't even have a computer and looking back, my endo was ridiculous. I didn't even know I had Hashimoto's nor understand what my lab tests should be when optimal. I was put on Synthroid and looking back, I am sure I had adrenal problems as well, but doctors don't check that. When I discovered Mary Shomon and had a computer I went on a mission to get Armour which was difficult and switched doctors to find one who would prescribe. I really have had a problem raising my T3 level above "low" so decided on straight T3 two years ago.

    It's really inhibiting to find a doctor who will do the things that are necessary to really improve the condition so I'm satisfied that I have my independence for now and "almost" feel well.

  • Hi Debs, I just looked back at previous posts and saw we had a discussion a while ago. (I knew we had) You brought up the candida issue and my son is now trying ThreeLac. Have you tried that one? He's having real side effects now so it's doing something. I had heard of it a long time ago from people who recommended it. I was checking out the effects from others online and found this. Maybe you'll be interested.

    curezone.org/forums/am.asp?...

  • Good evening Heloise, what a diamond you are - I have been searching for years and years. I have not tried this one? It does sound promising, if your son is having real side effects. I am very excited by this news, I will find where to buy it immediately : >

    You may save me from having an embarassing trip to see a male gyno : <

    I am so glad you have feeling almost well - nearly there to full recovery (that's what I love to hear)

    I have my endo app next week, I have absolutely no idea why I have to go, she told me last time, she couldn't help me and that I just had to live with all the symptoms - My partner said to her " what exactly do you get paid for' - she could not answer.

    Thank you so much for recommending the threelac - yippeeee

  • I'm so glad to hear this. You should probably read more about it. Curezone is a good site. iHerb.com is good as well. You can read tons of reviews only from people who bought the supplement.

    I totally agree with your partner. Why go back so they can make money from your visit while you get nothing.

    I'll be checking in with you:)

  • Morning Heloise,

    Thank you for recommending those sites, I will read the reviews and I will keep you posted. I am excited about this new product : >

    The only reason I have gone back to see the endo was because I was worried she might stop my medication so while I am there I would like to make my feelings clear to her.

    When I saw her Iast time I was in so much pain and was extremely ill, I believed her when she said I could never get any better, which made me even more poorly - If I had been a braver person I could have drove of a cliff after hearing that - I want to try to educate her a little, so she never says that to anyone else.

  • I hear you, Debs. These people do have power to make or break and it does leave you stuck in sort of a fearful place. I hate that about the system. There are many systems in this world that are similar but we have to fight that by overcoming our own ignorance and refusing to be victims. Pray to do both!

  • Hello Heloise, I couldn't agree more : >

    I have ordered the Threelac from Iherb - did your son only need the one box of 60 sachets? It sounds like good stuff.

    Thank you for recommending it x

  • He just started on it two weeks ago, Debs, so I think he is just feeling his way around with it. He became very ill when he was out of the country and needed intravenous fluids and ever since that he has had a bloating problem but still fit and buff. He's been traveling but I'll be talking to him this week and will find out more. I read that it could take four to five months. Are you going to take one per day to start? Are you reading more on Curezone? I tried to look at the archives for askwaltstoll.com but they are making some changes and cannot find threads of posts, just his articles and glossary. It was so helpful when he was alive.

    Look at #3 on this list.

    askwaltstollmd.com/articles...

  • My goodness, your poor son. I think only one sachet a day after reading this. I did get the impression it was very strong, but that is just what I need, after having it for 15 years :<

    Thank you for the link, very interesting. Maybe i need to deal with leaky gut first.

    : >

  • Dr. Stoll always recommended taking nystatin and said it only selected candida and nothing else but, of course, you need a prescription. My old doctor used to give out a supply of it whenever prescribing antibiotics.

    There is an Elimination Diet at Dr. Stolls website which I did many years ago. This is supposed to identify food sensitivities. You may want to try that later. I wasn't looking for gluten when I did it and I don't seem to have allergies but do limit gluten although you should have NONE to really know for sure. They sneak gluten into so many things you don't suspect so you really need guidance in doing it.

    The more you know, the more complicated it gets unfortunately:(

  • Hello Helosie, you could be right, maybe I do have more food intolerances.

    I gave up Gluten in December and my health has improved know end.

    I did have Nystain when I also got Candida in the mouth - it worked so quick for the mouth, but nothing has helped in other place : <.

    In fact it has been getting worse and worse, It can flare up and seems in some way tied in the the hashi's.

    I am going to have to try elimination diets and also take things to help the leaky guy.

    It is very complicated, I don't think the gyno will be much help (maybe I won't go, save me the embarassment) : <

  • Dr. Stoll recommended pap smears every three years. This was over a dozen years ago and NOW this is the current recommendation so if that is why you........

    We probably don't know the half of what a low metabolism is responsible for but I am sure it is EVERYTHING. Why can't we just find a solution for THAT.

  • That is a very good question, but one that may never be answered by the doctors, as they all seem to have given up

  • You have to write a new post to add a picture x

    (unless you can put a link to it on-line, like to a dropbox file) or add to your profile

  • Good morning Spareib, How do I make the picture smaller? when I attach to a new post, the photo is massive?

    Thank you

  • I don't know if you have an option on here to resize it - so I'd do it beforehand.

    Copy the pic to my desktop (on a PC)

    right click on it, open with - Microsoft picture manager (or Paint)

    Choose Edit & resize to say, 50% & save it.

    J x

  • Thank you, Jane. I tried to cut myself out of a group and used Paint. Impossible. Now I have outlines all around my head in the group shot which I can't remove but I'll try to find a single shot and do it over again. Thanks for the instruction.

  • Thank you Sparerib - I will give that a whirl : >

  • Hi

    Such a sad day when we have to say goodbye to our pets - after losing 2 dogs I thought I could never have another but then 2 unwanted dogs came into our lives and my husband and I are thankful each day that we gave them a loving home, otherwise they would have been put down. An animal's love is unconditional and a new pet never replaces the one you lose but you sound like such a lovely person that in time you will be able to give your love to another animal. We have to remember that we are being kind to our beloved animals when the time comes for them to be put to sleep. You will cry buckets of tears but it is all part of the healing process. Take care and lots of hugs.

    Cassie

  • Bless you Cassandra,

    Thank you so much for your kind words, it does mean alot.

    So sorry to hear about your loses, it is such a hard thing to deal with.

    That is so good that their are people like you around, giving homes to unwanted animals.

    I sponser some animals at Hillside Animal Sanctury, I have not been able to read a news letter, or read about their investigations because it is so shocking how people can treat animals.

    Thank you for the hugs to, I really need them, I will also pass them on to Josie

    Best wishes

    Debs

  • So sorry kitten whiskers,I've had to do that many times over the years with both cats and dogs,we love them their family sometimes better than family.but the time comes when we have to say goodbye to save them from further suffering.i know you will have done all you can to save protect and stop you're furry friend from suffering but now you have to be brave for her sake and let her go.sending you hugs x

  • Thank you Pet-lamb x

  • I had to do the same thing for my Moomee. She travelled to the uk with me from new zealand and was very dear to me. I was hoping she would go in her sleep as she had chronic kidney failure, she was 19. It was awful of course but i felt so relieved that she was no longer suffering. It was like a weight had lifted.

  • Thank you lunamoona,

    Sorry to hear about Moomee, it must have been awful for you.

    I hope my little princess will just fall asleep, so I do not have to go to the vets x

  • My heart goes out to you. Like many others mentioned here, I too have been in the horrible circumstances that you now face. My cat was put to sleep due to a massive bowel tumour last April aged 14 years. Only 8 weeks later, my wee dog aged 15 years had to leave us the same way.

    It was a very emotional time for me and my health suffered as a result. When you are grieving, you don't always pay attention to yourself. Its good that you are aware of the potential detrimental effects of emotional stress, however, I hope this doesn't apply to you and you get to say your goodbyes without any issues.

    Someone already mentioned The Rainbiw bridge, this is a very supportive website which I personally drew lots of comfort from, maybe it could help you too?

    Thinking of you

  • Thank you Mauschen,

    So sorry to hear of your losses. I do think my health will suffer because of this emotional stress, over the past year I have managed to not get wound up by doctors, our horrible neighbours, my massive workload but I will not be able to detach from my Josie going to heaven, she really is part of the family and has been spoilt all her life. I have been taking extra vitamin B complex and C and am doing the best I can, but it is very raw and the thought to taking her to the vets to end her life, fills me with misery and guilt.

    I will be looking at all the brillant support from everyone hear and the rainbow website to try to deal with things differently.

    Best wishes

  • Kitten-whiskers I just wanted to say thank you for posting, & there are so many lovely replies too - just goes to show the immense understanding of the lovely folk here - of course, goes without saying really ...

    to be honest if Josie's not in pain and still eating I'd cancel Thursday's appointment, just my thinking, let her decide.... but I do tend to put things off 'til absolutely the very last minute... (I also have 3 cats - they cost a furry fortune!) x

  • Good afternoon Sparerib,

    I couldn't agree more, such wonderful responses from such lovely people, it is very heart warming adn very well recieved and appreciated.

    Although this ilness seems like a curse with such a long battle to get well, it does come with some bonuses - like this site and all the amazing people on here and also the lovely Dr Peatfield - I am very proud to have met him, it also shows that one person can make a big difference .

    Best wishes

  • Soooo sorry you are going thru this. My heart aches for you.

    On May 11th, we had to say good bye to our beloved Cleo, a Snowshoe Siamese, whom we rescued 20 years ago. She had been sick for some time and we did everything we could to save her. The decision to let her go was very difficult for us but we knew in our hearts it was time.

    The most important thing for my husband and I was that she would NOT be alone and that she would be surrounded by love. Our vet came to our home and was so very gentle and compassionate. We held her while he administered the sedative, kissed her and told her how much we loved her. She quietly went to sleep and the vet administered the injection. It was very quick. As difficult as that moment was, I would not have wanted her to suffer any more. She was at peace.

    We openly cried and the vet gave us as much time as we needed to say good bye. We still cry over her (tears as I write this) and I expect we will do so until our hearts heal. The pain of losing an animal is like no other pain; the loss, like no other loss.

    In Cleo's honor, we have since rescued two new kitties, whom we hope will be in our lives for the next 20 years. Too many animals need loving humans - we simply could not be without a furbaby in our lives!

    Also, since the time of her passing, a Cardinal has come to visit us every day. We know it is Cleo letting us know she is okay.

    You will know when the time is right to say good bye - Josie will tell you. Make the most of every day you have with her and do everything in your power to make her comfortable. Never give up until there is no more to be done.

    Do not let ANYONE, especially your father, tell you how you should FEEL. Animals are precious and they deserve the very best we can give them in life as well as in death.

    Hugs and peace to you and Josie. You are lucky to have found each other.

  • Good afternoon Milkwoman,

    Thank you for such a touching and wonderful reply.

    I am really sorry for bringing this up and upsetting you - I really should have thought before I put the post up. I was crying when I read your post, it really is such an awful thing to have to do.

    I appreciate that the vet only see's her at the vets, when she is very grumpy and more recently aggressive but at home is is the same beatiful Josie, always purring, I don't think he believes me but it is the truth. I would never do anything to cause pain or suffering to her, I feel offering her pain relief and maybe buying a more supportive bed are worth a try.

    However bad the thought of having her put to sleep, I would have to force myself to do it, for her and the love I have for her.

    Thank you for such lovely words and support

    Best wishes

    Debs x

  • Do not be sorry! I welcome any memory of Cleo, yes, even the difficult ones. In her death, we were united in love as a family. That fills my heart and helps me to heal.

    You, alone, know Josie the best. How she acts at the vet (IMHO) is meaningless. Our Cleo used to put on a good show of "I feel fine" when at the vet when we knew the real story.

    I agree with other commenters above who have suggested you wait a little while longer since Josie is alert, eating, drinking, peeing, pooping, etc. Research her symptoms and look for solutions. We were able to get 2 additional years with Cleo after she had had mini-stroke by changing her diet and giving her supplements. We also found a compound pharmacy to make transdermal meds for her since she hated pills and drops. Things I would have not known (and my vet didn't tell me) to do. It was other pet owners online who had gone thru similar experiences that provided the info I need. Now, I'm not suggesting you disregard your vet, but rather, educate yourself, look at your cat's test results and research what it all means.

    You've given Josie 20 years - that's amazing! She could have a few more left, you never know. She will tell you when it is time.

    Tracy

  • Thank you so much Tracy, fantastic advice - i really do appreciate it. I have cancelled my appointment for Thursday and will be going back on Monday, just to ask for a higher dose of pain relief and have her nails done, I am dreading the vets, she is not very nice to them at all. Maybe I should make the appointment with a different vet - see if I get better reaction.

    I am going to enjoy all the time I have left with her and pray I still have a few years with her, it's going to be horrible without my furry princess :<

  • I do so empathise with you. I had to do the same to one of my guinea pigs a couple of months ago and I too was worried about the emotional trauma on my health with it all. I found talking to my guinea pig before taking him to the vet and explaining why I was doing what I was doing helped (even if it may have looked a bit insane to any onlooker!!). I found the vet I used very empathic with me and my guinea pig, which really helped. She assured me I was doing the right thing and that if I wasn't she would tell me.

    I've learnt it's better to express your emotions than keep them inside. Suppressing your emotions will cause ill health, letting them express is healing. So so grieve if you feel the need. It actually feels cleansing and releasing to grieve and have a good cry if you need to. I couldn't hold it back. Suprisingly the grieving past quicker than I thought it would. My health didn't suffer that much either, which was a relief. Helped by the fact I still have two remaining guinea pigs left to cuddle. So you may benefit in getting a new cat or other pet when you feel ready. This may help. I also took lots of Rescue Remedy through the whole process - don't know if it helped but nothing to lose by using it!

    A few days later I had a lovely dream where my guinea pig visited me in my dream and told me that he was now well and happy, I also felt a tremendous amount of affection coming from him in the dream. If that sounds rather loopy - sorry! but if there was anything to gain from it, the dream was very comforting and has made me feel a lot happier since.

    You'll be fine, you will heal from the experience. And trust in yourself, these decisions don't come easily. Know that you have thought long and hard over this decision and that you're doing it from the kindness of your heart. It's a selfless act of wanting to take your pet's pain away, which shows how much you care.

    Sending you warmth at this challenging time for you. X

  • Thank you HEA72, that was very moving, what an amazing dream, it doesn't sound loopy at all, I remember years ago my mum told me the night her mum went to heaven, she came back and visited them all , looking young and well again.

    I am so glad your health did not suffer, I do feel mine will, I have been taking extra supplements for my adrenals.

    When the time comes I don't know how I will cope with taking her to the vets for the final time, knowing that it really is going to be the end for her.

    I do understand that it is an act of kindness, It's just awful and is playing on my mind.

    Thank you : >

    Debs

  • I am sure Josie has had a wonderful life with you. What you are doing is for her benefit and that is very selfless. There should be no guilt about this for that very reason and you can do what you need to do, perhaps without stress knowing your motives are pure.Keeping an animal is such a responsibility and it probably was inevitable that this time would eventually come. Grief and sadness over losing Josie will be hard but thinking of all the fun times will make your heart just a bit lighter. I would perhaps keep a little piece of fur, make an album with photos of happier times

    and have a good cry when you look at the book. Many of us have been through this but the joy of keeping an animal outweighs these sad and difficult times. She is never 'lost' and will always be in your heart. Much love.

  • Hello Pepekins, Thank you for such a lovely reply.

    Josie has had a lovely life and has been spoilt rotten, I am so attached to her and I am finding it very difficult. I do agree with you, but at the moment she is still very happy, it is only at the vets when she has turned very grumpy and not allowing them near her.

    I will do the right thing by Josie, when the time does come, as you say it was inevitable : <.

  • Hello Debs,

    How are you and Josie today?

    I have read through this thread and the lovely support you have been getting. Putting on my rather battered old vet nurses cap (yes we really did wear nursey-type caps and old fashioned nursing dresses and starched pinnies in the 70's.....no "scrubs"!) I would just like to chime in that I think you are doing the right thing for your lovely old girl.

    It would just upset both of you to go to an appointment where you will probably just be told more of the same and all the upset of getting her in the travel basket and the journey.

    As her owner and therefore sensitive to when there are changes in her disposition I agree that she will be so much more comfortable at home.

    I expect she is sleeping a lot more and with that will come reduced appetite (or maybe not, they can be such contrary creatures!). I'm sure she would be delighted to have some little treats of favourite food to go with lots of cuddles!

    Take lots of photos for memories!

    You know her and will instinctively know when the time has come to do the last great act of kindness for her. Also if she absolutely stops drinking and eating and seems unable to.

    Be kind to yourself and don't bottle up emotion, it's healthy to cry and let it out. Stay away from people who make mean comments about your emotions or belittle your relationship with your pet who is part of your close family.

    One final bit of advice.....when the time comes call the surgery ask for a last appointment, tell them what it is for, or maybe ask for a home visit. Some practices will quite understand if you don't want to hang around and settle up (or they should do), maybe get an accompanying friend to do it for you. Sorry to be blunt but little things like this can help.

    Please take care and hugs to you and a gentle fuss and chin-rub for Josie. xx

  • Hello Spongecat, Thank you so much for your reply. All the kind words and support I have received have been amazing . Josie will be very grateful for the chin-rub.

    Josie is doing very well at home, thank you - she has the biggest eyes and loudest purr, I am still getting all my kisses and nuzzles - which is such a relief. She is still eating the same - 6 pouches a day with biscuits and a nice malt cream or multivitamin paste.

    For some reason she has turned very unfriendly towards the vets/ nurses - at first we thought it was because the acupuncture was getting to sore for her but it is everything - making it impossible to be treated.

    The vets are very understanding, I was nearly in tears when he suggested it.

    I know one day I will have to say goodbye, but hopefully I will have a few more years left with her.

    Thank you for all your advice

    Take care

    Debs

  • I'm so sorry to hear that... I too have had too many animals (both cats and dogs) that I've had to help across the rainbow and many years ago someone sent me the following poem which I always felt helped me enormously. Even now I can't read it without remembering all those eyes looking at me without having more than a few tears in mine, so have your hanky ready... I hope it helps.

    If it should be that I grow weak,

    And pain should keep me from my sleep

    Then you must do what must be done

    For this last battle can't be won.

    You will be sad - I understand

    Don't let your grief then stay your hand

    For this day more than all the rest

    Your love for me must stand the test.

    We've had so many happy years

    What is to come can hold no fears

    You'd not want me to suffer so

    The time has come, please let me go.

    Take me where my needs they'll tend

    And please stay with me until the end

    Hold me firm and speak to me

    Until my eyes no longer see.

    I know in time that you will see

    The kindness that you do for me

    Although my tail its last has waved

    From pain and suffering I've been saved.

    Please do not grieve it must be you

    Who has this painful thing to do

    We've been so close we two these years

    Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

    Anon.

  • Hello Anon, That is beautiful but so sad, I need a lorry load of tissues.

    Sorry to hear you have had to go through that all those times, I am sure it never gets any better.

    Thank you :>

  • Wow, that is some appetite.......good for her!

    As you say in your openong post, she has arthritis so I suppose if you are a bit tender and certain movements hurt or are uncomfortable (like when restraining/holding a cat for injections or whatever) plus it's the vets with all the strange smells and sounds and who are these people who I don't know and I'm rather scared.....no wonder she gets grumpy and I think a lot of pets can get a little "short" as they get older. Oh bless her!

  • Hello Spongecat,

    She has always loved her food (they say pets are like their owners)

    I don't think the vets say bless her : > mind you they deal with it so well.

    At home she is as good as gold, like butter wouldn't melt.

    The very brave vet would like to try acupuncture again next week but I wonder if she should just stay away from the vets for a while, to give her time to calm down, if the pain relief is working, maybe that could take the place of the acupuncture. You are probably right - age is playing a part in her grumpiness

  • Kitten-whiskers, I've only just seen this thread as I've been all over the place recently, wish I'd seen it straight away. I haven't read every post but you still have Josie haven't you? For some years we used to take our first cat and dog to a most wonderful homeopathic vet called George Macleod, it was only after he died that I discovered he was actually famous in the homeopathic world. He sorted out our dog when a conventional vet wanted to put her to sleep and he was extremely knowledgeable. After he died I bought his book about treating cats and have looked up arthritis remedies. Has Josie got osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis? The treatments are slightly different. He says:

    "Osteoarthritis affects mainly the spinal vertebrae resulting in a form of spondylitis. The animal shows lameness and a disinclination to move. Manipulation of joints is resented. Remedies to consider are RHUS TOX in 6c to 1m potency. BRYONIA in 6c potency, ACID SAL 30c, ACTAEA RAC 30c, MINERAL EXTRACT 6x. Treatment may have to be given over a long period alternating the remedies according to response.

    In so-called rheumatoid arthritis there are different joints involved, very rarely a single one. The smaller joints e.g. carpus (wrist) are more often affected, and accompany an increase in joint fluid which causes painful swelling.

    CLINICAL SIGNS, include a rise in temperature and severe pain on manipulation of joints. Loss of appetite accompanies malaise weight loss.

    TREATMENT. Remedies such as RHUS TOX (6c - 1m), ACID FORMIC (6c), ACTAEA RAC (30c) and CAULOPHYLLUM (30c) have all proved useful according to overall symptoms. APIS (30c) is also indicated if there is an excess of synovial fluid causing puffy joint swellings."

    Anyway if you wanted to try homeopathy I reckon his advice is the best, I don't know if you have a homeopathic pharmacy near you, but if not Helios in Tunbridge Wells are very helpful if you phone them and they also post out remedies: helios.co.uk/

    Good luck and trust your instinct above the vet, I didn't do so last year and bitterly regret saying goodbye to a very beloved cat as a result.

  • Good morning Framboise,

    I really can not thank you enough for this post - it means so much to me.

    So sorry to hear about your cat, what a dreadful time for you :<

    I did nearly did have her put down (the appointment would have been yesterday) , but thanks to all these wonderful posts I felt I would have been doing the wrong thing because she was so happy and loving at home.

    I did persuade the vet to let me try some pain relief, but he was reluctant - he didn't say anything but it did appear he thought I was doing the wrong thing, he wasn't keen on homeopathy when I asked.

    Josie has arthritis of the spine, the vet has referred to it as spondylitis.

    It had been playing on my mind - as she would not tolerate the acupuncture anymore, and with the vet only giving a tiny amount of pain relief (which I understand because she has kidney problems), that she would soon be in lots of pain - I am going to buy his book and educate myself.

    Thank you so much Framboise ( I am sorry it has brought back bad memories for you) I really do feel for you

    Best wishes

    Debs x

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