Self medication

I had to walk out of my sons house today as he basically threatened me with not seeing my grandchildren again. The reason because I am self medicating and buying it from the internet. I then get home to see he had asked his vast group of friends their opinions on the internet. Just cant seem to get him to understand how desperate I am and that I don't particularly want to do this but I have no choice. I am a trained nurse and know the implications but I live in a one pill for all society for hypothyroidism (which I have a toxic reaction too).I

Feel I am being bullied into accepting a treatment that is making me ill so I can see my much loved grandchildren. Don't think I can take much more and I am back to feeling suicidal where I think at least all the pain would go away.Why wont somebody help me please

27 Replies

  • What business is it of your Son what you do and why is he blackmailing you with his children? he may not agree with what you are doing but frankly I don't think its any of his business unless your actions are endangering either your of his children's lives by your behaviour when you are with them.

    I would not tell him your business anymore then he won't have any reason to keep your grandchildren from you!

    You don't have to be bullied into doing anything and your health is more important than anything too. Hope things work out for you.

  • Oh, so if you buy groceries on the internet from say, tesco will they be fake then? Like rabbit instead of chicken, and toast instead of cornflakes. And shampoo will have bleach or hair dye in it..... Yep, And if you buy a few boxes of thyroid meds, they are bound to be fake because you can't trust the Internet. What would the chemist gain from selling you fake meds? They wouldn't get your repeat business and i assume you would soon tell people on this forum if the meds were in fact , smarties.

    Oh for goodness sake, tell him to wise up.... The Internet has been around for a long time now..... And we are savvy enough to work out when we are being ripped off......

    If you don't get to babysit for your grandchildren, or what ever you do... Do it for someone else's children. Plenty of people would welcome interest from an adopted granny - specially one clever enough to self medicate so as to keep her health!

    Don't be bullied into poor health by your narrow minded son!


  • Here's hoping that at least one of his "vast group of friends" stands up and categorically supports your position.

    I'd love to say you must be mad buying medicines on the internet, and taking things that are not licensed in the UK. At one time I might have believed that. Not no more. No chance. Not mad. Desperate.

    Too many people have had a better response to what they get for themselves than what their GPs might give them.

    It shouldn't be necessary. It is potentially risky. But it is your choice - and yours alone - whether to make that choice and take whatever risks there are for the benefits you perceive.


  • Helvon, I have to agree with the others already posted. Just continue to do what is best for you and don't discuss it with your son. I'm sure he only has your best interests at heart but doesn't appreciate the complexity of our situation. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Life is too short to waste just 'getting through each day' and we all have to find what works for us. My son is generally supportive but raised his eyebrows when I told him I had ordered from Mexico .... As for not letting you see the children, I think that's very cruel.

    Look after yourself and banish those suicidal thoughts, you are worth much more than that xx.

  • Sons....grrrrrr....Love n Hate them...I just don't know anymore...!!!!!..

    Your health is in your hands, be empowered, and do what you have to do xxx

    My son rowed with me when I turned up at his home... desperate for his love and cuddles, ...after a massive row with my hubby. I'd very bravely traveled by bus and train, all on my own, which is a feat in itself. I was extremely poorly after a change in my meds affecting my Graves Disease, severe Anxiety state etc etc , well all hell broke loose and I was dumped back at the station!!!!! Heartbroken I travelled to my favourite seaside town Whitby, hoping to set up home alone there, but it had to go back home because of my doctors and hospital appointments.

    I've sorted things out with my poor stressed out hubby... We are getting along fine one he realises I'm not bluffing when is say I'd rather go it alone than put up with his negativity ...

    My son now is claiming to be so ill stressing about my illness that he is seeing a councillor.... He won't speak to me or answer my letters or text....his wonderful Fiancé is looking after him and we chat regularly on Facebook, she assure me he is on the road to recovery and that he needs his space and will in time get in touch with me again!!!

    We wanted to go up and visit them last weekend but she wouldn't let us, saying he was not ready, I just don't know where to turn, I am having my gallbladder removed on Friday 1st and just needs a big hug from my beloved son.....if anything goes wrong....God forbid...well .......!!!!!!?????

    Big hugs Nuttytish

  • Are you taking too much though? Maybe you are behaving differently?

  • ....they say thyroid issues run in families - so am wondering if the irrational behaviour of your son could be an early warning sign. Have had a little experience on that issue. Think it is time for you to start telling little porkies with a big happy smile on your face....just like the kids did when you asked them who had been in the biscuit tin !!

  • I do understand how you feel and am so sorry to hear about these problems.

    The establishment doctors and guideline makers bear a huge responsibility for the response you are receiving from your son.

    My daughter and I have for 20 years tried to get people to understand and many have dropped away from our lives. These, I figure don't matter as their friendship wasn't worth the effort, but your son is a different matter. For a very long time my son wasn't interested in his sister, but over the last year we have received a lot more understanding initiated from an unexpected quarter.

    I bombarded him and his wife with information about what it is like to live with hypothyroidism and all of the difficulties it represents, especially when you have to buy your own replacement hormones and seek private help.

    If you can drip feed them BOTH with information from this site, with links like these:

    .....and also tell him that sites like these would not be needed if doctors had things right. Do this ALL by email and gradually.

    I understand the heartache you are feeling, but your son is doing as most others do and believing that the doctor knows what's best. I have shed many private tears over a similar situation, but all I can suggest is to be persistent and provide as much electronic information as you can to your son and his wife. Best wishes, Jane x x

  • My son was the same, his attitude was that the doctor was always right. But his attitude was skewed because a) his GP was a good one and b) he is not hypothyroid!! I explained that I was ill and that I was buying from a legitimate pharmacy but in America because the meds I needed weren't available in this country and eventually he relented. But that was because I initially borrowed the money to pay for the meds from him, if I had been buying them myself I would have not explained I would have gone ahead and not told him.

  • I appreciate your frustration for not getting the treatment you feel you need but I don't agree with self medication being a nurse you should know better ! Have you tried going private or seeing a different doctor for treatment maybe your doctor has set you off on a to higher dose ? As for your Son have you stopped to think how your behaviour is affecting him he obviously loves and cares for you very much and asked his vast amount of friends for reassurance because he is worried about you !! Have you thought that him threatening you to stop seeing the kids is a last resort for him to bring you to your senses !!! .You may also be a little depressed please visit the doctor again and take your son or a family member with you if you truly carn't take the levothyroxine ask for an alternative medication .sorry if my post upsets you and insincerely hope you get the help you need soon xx

  • I suffered hypothyroid, nhs gave me a partial thyroidectomy, thought I had cancer turns out its hashimoto. Spent £2000 trying to get decent treatment privately, ran out of money. Ten years of suffering a half life later, and no longer able to work so no income. My husband took out a loan to see a private endocrinologist £1200 later, same thing keep taking the t4 at same dose. Any suggestions for me, as I have already taken your advice?

  • Me again, just spotted the bit in your blog about depression. It's strange that psychiatrists can use T3 to treat depression, who knows maybe they are just under medicated by the NHS for thyroid problems, surely worth a look. All GPs I have asked will not give anything but levothyroxine.

  • Only if your son had the same illness and had the same nasty problem with thyroxine or T3 that both my husband and you and so many other hashimotos/hypo patients have would he understand

    How dare he stop you seeing your grandkids when the only meds that will give you the energy you need are denied you by your doctors ( my husband is lucky his NHS GP prescribes Armour for him on NHS because he knows exactly the difference it makes )

    Your son truly needs to understand and fathom exactly what agenda the RCP and much of the NHS are working to when the Hippocratic oath says "do no harm" when big pharmas drugs do just that

    The Medicines Control Agency cannot understand why so many doctors refuse to prescribe a drug which they have sanctioned as can be prescribed on a named patient basis

    Congratulations on self treating using Natural Thyroid meds ..........treat on symptoms not on useless blood tests you would soon know if you were taking too much

  • you know what you are doing is right for you, lots of us have had to self medicate because the NHS our GPs and endos have let us down , and although we are self medicating we are doing it safely and have all researched it with each other and in some cases even our GPs know about it ,in all honesty I would just say "ok" I will stop, but I wouldn't! I know its horrid to lie to your son but your feeling well is at stake and your health, so I wouldn't beat myself about it because your son just doesn't understand.

    take care, xx

  • I agree with the comments on here this is emotional blackmail and you can't allow him to do that. It is your life to do as you please, many people buy meds online I even buy meds for my dogs it is so much cheaper. We have a son who's wife will come nowhere near us, no reason at all we've been as good as gold to her none better but some people are just not nice and not good to be around. I fail to see what this has to do with your son or his friends - who to keep in with him will take his side anyway. As someone said do some voluntary work with children that should help, but don't allow yourself to be blackmailed. I will also add sometimes fighting fire with fire is the way to go seems to me this is one of those times, and it will help your self esteem, perhaps there is something you could withhold from him if he's threatening not to let you see your grandchildren? inheritance? etc.

  • Poor you, how awful and what a horrid, horrid dilemma. Can you suggest to your son that he goes on the main Thyroid UK website and better still this website and reads all the first hand accounts from people getting nowhere with their docs and endos. And perhaps he will also see the responses on here to your desperation. If he dismisses it out of hand and says he won't go on the website, be calm and just write the various website addresses on a piece of paper which you can leave for him and hopefully he will do it in a quiet moment when you are not around.

    I think in a perverse way, he cares about you very much and is desperate to stop you doing anything which he feels may harm you. Are you able to talk to his wife? Maybe she might be less emotional and you can sit with her and put your case across to her and then if she can understand how you feel and why you are doing what you are doing, then maybe she can act as a go-between and calm the situation down.

  • I've never seen my grandchildren- so take heart and get your health straight and then sort out relationships.

    Your son is out of order- but not having seen my daughters' kids since birth, I've had to adapt to fate.

    I think you have a very balanced view and under extreme stress, too.

    Your son should be proud of you.

    Show him my post if you like :)

    Good luck..

  • Agree with Marz, Tell wee porkies! I Self medicate with NDT and tell porkies to my GP by telling her the exact amounts of T4 and T3 and she thinks I am on levo and liothyronine (t3). The only difference is she thinks I am on synthetic where as I am taking the natural option! I have spent years being kept ill and now I have found Armour and feel human again! I will keep on self medicating and B.....ks to anyone who tells me I should not. Like you I come from a medical background and am over cautious with changing amount of meds as I do not want to become hyper. I get my supply from internet too. Sending you thyroidy hugs and tell your sons porkies as really it is not his business if you take synthetic T4 and T3 or natural. Good luck and hope all goes well for you . X

  • Poor you! If you're feeling better on the medication you're on then there is no reason on this earth (including the approbation of your son or anyone else in your family) to stop doing what you're doing. Your large circle of friends on here are all right behind you - you have just the same sort of support circle as your son.

    I'd tell him I'd gone back on something prescribed by the doctor. Mebbe make up that I got the doc to prescribe what I'm feeling well on. Depends on how you feel about lying to your son. It will be a white one (if a whopper) if it keeps peace in the family. But, of course, you'd have to keep it up!

    What a strange, vitriolic, way for a son to behave. What does he think - that you're going to somehow poison your own grandchildren? Honestly!

    Be strong. This too will pass.

  • I am a member of this forum and other groups.. I don't know ANYONE who is feeling WELL and ISN'T self-medicating..

    You look after yourself... tell him to come to a support group meeting..

  • Can you get a new GP who would let you self medicate? Your son may be put at ease by at least knowing you are being supervised by a supportive GP, if not treated by one. Sometimes that is all it takes. Relationships take work on both sides. It is not emotional blackmail if he genuinely believes his children could be at risk of their grandparent either collapsing or flipping out due to either the medical condition or drugs taken. You don't have to look far to find people buying drugs (& vitamins) online and then dropping dead from them.

  • That so sad your not being supported by your son... And it's none of his friends business about where you get your medication from. Maybe he should join health unlocked to see how ill thyroid desaese makes us then he may understand. (((((Big hugs to you))))

  • one seems to be addressing the issue of you feeling suicidal....go seek help urgently!!!!!!!!! A&e, gp, national hotline, friend....Anyone!!! But do it Right Now!!!!

    The world will not be a better place without you.

    Do what ever you have to do for your one else is doing it for you. You do what you think is right for you. No one else knows the intricacies of your issues like you do. Especially being a nurse, you are able to make a very informed decision.

    If you need immediate support because of feeling suicidal please pm me.

    You are not alone.

  • Just to let everyone know that the admin team have been in contact with helvon and she is o.k. I know a few of you were concerned that you have not heard anything so thought I would put your minds at rest.

    Moggie x

  • hi what are you taking? I have been self medicating but got pills from a friend in America then my endo agreed I was doing the right thing - there are dr who will prescribe

  • I am taking nature throid from the states and I am feeling much much better

  • Hello

    Ciao ' helvon ' ,

    How do you obtain natural thyroid medication from the USA ?

    Do you take T4 and T3 ?

    And how are your symptoms ameliorated ? Just a few words ...

    I find this interesting and helpful .

    Jingle Bells


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