Need to get this of my chest... Sorry for slight stupid story

[As1992]

So this has been bugging me for a while. So. Sorry for the long weird story I hope it makes sense. I suffer constantly with ibs and stomach pain after eating and looking for treatment that works. I'm currently in a relationship for 7+ years and suffered with ibs 2+ years. I don't live with my fiance at the mo so I go round his after he finishes work. There are times when I can't see him because of my ibs it's not nice to deal with around others. We'll not too long ago I was still suffering but I felt bad because I hadn't seen him in a while and wanted to see him. I didn't know that he wanted to make a roast dinner for us and I said sorry my ibs is still playing up a bit. He went off in a bad mood with me it made me feel guilty. He said he wanted to make a dinner for me which I understand but I cant help my medical condition at times and sometimes tablets don't work for me. He said to me wernt you looking forward to dinner and I felt like I had to say yes but it's not the end of the world because there will be another day and I felt like he wanted me to say what he wanted to hear rather than understanding the situation. I think he was more peed off that fact that he couldn't have it, I wish at the time I had said you can make dinner but I can have mine later or the next day when my stomach is better. He is not usually like this and he always says that he doesn't want to give me anything that is going to upset my stomach. At this point I felt I should have stayed at home to avoid this. If I didn't have ibs and I said I was going out at last minute it be more understandable for him to react that way if he was going to make us dinner. But ibs is not easy to have when it involves eating that is a necessity to live. He is much older than me and I thought he would have more of an understanding. It made me feel really bad with a situation that I couldn't help at that moment. It made me feel I had done something wrong. Anyone else with a similar experience?

[Maureen1958]

Tell him to grow-up and stop behaving like a spoilt child! And think seriously about this and whether he is worth being with.

[As1992 in reply to Maureen1958]

IF next time it happens I will tell him along those lines, I suppose we do have have ours ups and and downs

[xjrs]

First and foremost is to try to improve your IBS symptoms. Have you tried the fodmap elimination diet? This is normally conducted under a dietitian after referral from your GP. However there is lots of info on the internet about it. You can also download the Monash University fodmap app to your phone. It tells you what foods are low fodmap in what quantities. You eliminate all fodmaps for 2 weeks and reintroduce each type of fodmap one by one in small quantities for 3 days and wait 3-4 days for symptoms. The idea isn't to eliminate all fodmaps long term but to find if there are specific ones upsetting you. I am also taking Alflorex probiotic and since taking it I have been able to tolerate more foods including fodmaps. It has been scientifically studied for IBS and is available on a free 2 month trial on joining theibsnetwork.org. Secondly have you asked him if there was anything specific going on that made him react that way? Was he having a particularly hard week with his job and actually his reaction wasn't about you? Thirdly if you demonstrate to him what you are doing to help yourself i.e. you are doing the best you can and he consistently reacts this way (i.e. he's not just having a bad time of it himself for other reasons), then I'd go along with Maureen that he isn't the right person for you and there would be someone else out there with whom you are better suited.

[As1992 in reply to xjrs]

I have been on and and off with fodmap but will try sticking to it. I'm such a big food lover I'm one of those comfort eaters but I will try my best to stick to fodmap and will try probiotic. Maybe your right maybe he did have a bad day. He doesn't usually reacted to something like that so small about dinner

[xjrs in reply to As1992]

It is difficult to stick to diets since food can be one of the joys of life and we need those at the moment! I used to have a highly restrictive diet to control my symptoms prior to discovering medication (I take Linaclotide for IBS-C and intestinal nerve pain) and Alflorex (which gave me a further reduction in pain and has helped my general symptoms) plus I was low fodmap for a long time to control IBS-D (though eliminating all fodmaps isn't good for your health). I used to love food i.e. live to eat rather than eat to live. Since IBS I've had to switch this around and find other joys in life or hobbies. One of mine is music. Whatever is going on in my life music doesn't let me down and helps to keep me going. In terms of your relationship we are in very difficult times at the moment which can cause people to react differently. If this is a one off or something that doesn't happen all the time for him, then this is a good sign. We all get on each others nerves at times particularly when under stress.

[Linley]

If he loves you and you are going to make a go of this relationship long term you are going to have to sit down and discuss it with him. He's not behaving like an adult. Good luck

[As1992 in reply to Linley]

Yes and we both love each other deeply maybe this was just a one off and as I mentioned to Maureen we have our ups and downs.

Thankyou

[Koolcook83]

What systomps do you get with your ibs flare ups then I can try to give you some advice as I know what's it like to suffer with it as I do