Worrying about the future..

[Kweh123]

Hi guys,

So technically I'm currently "unemployed" as I'm trying to finish writing up my PhD thesis but the thought of getting a new job terrifies me.

I got diagnosed with IBS just before I started my PhD 4 years ago and my health is a lot worse than what it was when I first started. I'd have a lot of sick days (but would spend that time working from home) and I'd get to work late but I shrugged it off as I was technically a student but now I'm looking for work I'm really scared that I'll do all these things and lose my job or that I'll be seen as unreliable.

I've also gotten to the point where I don't like leaving the house. I get in a panic every time worrying what if I need to go to the loo and I can't even though I've only ever had one bad experience but that was enough to scar me for life. The thought of waking up early for work scares me too as I recently identified poor sleep as a huge trigger for me and every morning after I eat breakfast I'll start to feel funny and need to go to the loo around half an hour later. But if I'm going to work or just outside for the day I constantly go to the loo beforehand to try to get whatever is in my body out and if I can't go for some reason I panic that I'll be ill later in the day or if I go and it's a bit "off" I'll panic that I'll continue to be ill during the day. It's a viscous circle.

I'm hoping to get a job and move in my with boyfriend but I'm so scared that I'll end up losing my job and be a burden to him. I'm so scared about getting back into a work routine whereas right now I'm just working from home all day everyday, which I like as I can just be ill at home and not worry about it.

I've also had two IBS attacks this month for no reason so I'm scared my IBS is getting worse and it'll continue to get worse in the future to the point where I can't work and support myself. All I've ever wanted is a good job and my own house one day but I don't see that happening because of my illness.

Once my PhD is done I'm planning on having a bit of time off from job hunting in order to relax and get my mental health in order to prepare me for work as all the stress and anxiety I have about my PhD can't be good for me. I doubt it'll change anything though...

Sorry for the depressing post guys. I just needed to vent as my IBS has gotten to me and I'm sort of hoping there are people out there in a similar situation to me who have had things work out for them? I don't want to feel like this the rest of my life...

[NoodlePip]

Hi firstly I’d like to say I 100% can empathise with you, I too have IBS and find that if I can’t go to the toilet before work I get increasingly anxious because I know I feel so poorly with cramps and urgency to go - I work as an Occupational Therapist so cant just dart to the loo when I’m with a client (although it has been known to happen!!). The first thing you need to deal with is your associated anxiety, as this will make your IBS symptoms so much worse, there’s lots of self help guides and apps out there to help manage your anxiety, I personally like to use meditation and find yoga also helps with my symptoms. I also quite like the routine of going to work, as when I was a student, every day was different and my bowel movements wouldn’t always fit in with timings/lectures etc. But actually having a daily routine is a way I have dealt with managing my IBS symptoms, regular bowel movements at certain times (ie after breakfast) I leave lots of time in the mornings in case I’m stuck on the loo and if not I have time for a little meditation before leaving for work. I have also made my work aware of my IBS so they provide flexibility for me to be able to visit the loo if I need too! Try not to feel embarrassed about going in a public loo, at the end of the day you have a medical condition and I’m sure you know if you try to hold it, the cramps/pain/urgency become much worse. If you’re worried that your IBS may be impacting your life to the point you don’t feel you can leave the house, possibly try hypnotherapy or talking therapy, there’s a lot of good evidence to suggest it helps people with IBS - I’ve not tried it myself but maybe it’s something worth considering as it may work for you. Good luck and don’t let IBS define who you are, take the control back and try to manage your anxiety!! Hope this helps a bit ☺️

[Hidden]

Hi Kweh, a lot of health symptoms are a reflection of how we deal with what's going on in our lives, and then as things continue and symptoms continue, it becomes a part of your life, so it makes it harder to then implement changes.

First thing I would ask, is what was going on in your life when you started your PhD, because that's when you IBS started and something different happened that IBS was triggered.

What sort of thoughts do you have on a daily basis, because you seem to be caught up in the "What if" syndrome and if you worry about what might happen, then you will attract that situation into your life.

Instead of focusing on what if, you want to be focusing on what you do want.

You are scared of being a burden to your boyfriend. Scared of not being able to hold a job down. Scared of the IBS getting worse.

what are the good things going on in your life? Good thoughts have a higher frequency and energy and so make you feel better. focus on the good in your life. Your boyfriend. Your PhD which I'm sure will be rewarding after 4 years of work. do you have close family, friends? When we are grateful for small things in life, it picks you up and pushes the negative back into the cupboard.

What do you get anxious about? Why does it make you anxious? If your answers get into "What if" then tell yourself... lots of things could happen, but they haven't so why should they now? Apply logic, talk yourself through your anxiety, Our anticipation of "What if" and our imagination is always far worse than reality.

As Noodlepip said, therapy will help. Having done counselling for many years and trained as a hypnotherapist, I now work using Energy healing and it's possible to get great results. Look up EFT for Anxiety or Tapping for anxiety on Youtube and tap along speaking outloud with the video, it will help reduce your anxiety and possibly some of your IBS symptoms. Hope some of this helps

[Eastbourne11]

Hi I assume you have ISB D (DIARREAH) do try the FODMAP diet, you must read the book, which tells you how much sugar you can eat either in pasta, veg etc. It is by dr Sue Shepherd and dr Peter Gibson. It has saved my life. And you are right an accident can scar you, but I realised that it is a medical condition and it was NOT my fault. I have been on it a year now and I am normal again. I do hope this helps. Good luck. .

[Marygulliford]

Dear kweh. Do not fret. Unfortunately, I've had to support myself thru IBS. I hope you can discuss your fears with your partner. IBS is something you have to manage. You may have mishaps, but get prepared with packets of imodium always with you. I've had several mishaps at work but kept a change of clothes in my drawer, wet wipes and pads. That alone relaxes you! See your doctor for additional help. I wish you well.

[Bellyboy13]

I truly empathise with you and it is really a pain....but it can be managed as others have said. I too picked up on all your fears. Anxiety will make your symptoms worse. Make your IBS/anxiety condition to be the next PhD on yourself .....on learning to cope better with anxiety and achieving relaxation. A good therapist will be able to help. Have you read a book Feel the Fear And Do It anyway, Susan Jeffers. It’s really easy to read, cheap and talks you through practical ways of overcoming overwhelming anxiety.

This will help with your IBS and controlling your thoughts and fears. I’m 54 and had IBS all my adult life. It can be awful but it’s not stopped me when traveling most of Asia, Caribbean, Kenya, India and Europe. Big deep breath, take back control by learning how to manage yourself.

I am SAFE is a great affirmation to repeat if you are in panic.

I wish you well and know you can find a way if you really want. Good luck.