IBS, no one understands

So I've been off school for around two weeks in total since September for my ibs, as the flare ups were very bad, causing me so much pain I was rolling around in bed all day and night. So my school have complained about my attendance, which is fair and I understand, however not my fault in the slightest. I tried speaking to the head of year, explaining the situation how I'm always back and forth to the doctors for tests etc, and apparently it isn't good enough. Therefore, I gave up and let all the teachers complain about my attentdance thinking I was ill with some stomach bug or whatever. I had parents evening tonight, and of course my English teachers said my attendance wasn't very good. So your step mum is meant to stick up for you right due to the reason why I've been off? Well they all literally made fun of me. I was called over dramatic and thinking I'm dying, also another teacher said ''maybe that's why she's good at drama". If they think this is going to make me work harder, they can think again!! Is it just me that thinks no one understands the pain ibs gives us? Everyday I'm in fear that a flare up will happen, everyday I'm always having a dodgy stomach. No one cares, just wish they knew how bad it hurts and how bad it can affect your life. I feel so so worthless, I can't help what's wrong with me, I can't just get up and get on with it when it hurts. It's painful, and not even my family understands.

13 Replies

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  • Poor you, Thats awful, especially the so called 'joke' about why you're good at drama, that is very unkind, it's not even funny and it's completely uncalled for.

    I don't even know what to say other than I do know where you're coming from. When I was growing up my mother was really unsympathetic, I was never allowed to be ill and if I ever complained I was always told 'it's your imagination'. I don't know why some people are like that.

    Does your school have a student counsellor who could support you or could you speak to your doctor or the practice nurse about how you are feeling because you feel like you're being harassed about your absences and no one seems to believe you are ill when you are actually feeling really poorly.

    Have you had the results of your tests yet and if so what sort of treatment are you having?

  • Thank you for replying! I don't feel like seeing anyone in school, the pupils in my school aren't exactly the nicest, and I don't know what my friends would say. I've tried contacting a private councillor in my area, however backed out as it is quite expensive. I just don't want to feel like I am over reacting as they said or making a huge fuss over what they might think is nothing. Really don't know what to do anymore, just make as much of the good days I get. I've had numerous of blood tests etc and have come back normal which is making it more obvious it's IBS. I do want an MRI tho if it's possible do you know? Or something that can detect anything else. If nothing, then at least it would give me closure that it's nothing serious!!

  • I know what you mean, it can be quite hard to speak about things like that but you've got yourself to your doctor which is good.

    It's good that your blood tests have come back normal though. I'm afraid i don't know about MRI scans, I was diagnosed over thirty years ago. Nothing showed up for me and it was decided I must have IBS.

    I mostly go from diarrhoea to being constipated and I've got used to that but recently I had the most dreadful gut pain so I trotted off and had blood tests - turned out I was checked for coeliac disease - total waste of time as I went gluten free over a year ago and you have to be eating gluten for that test to work.

    I think my latest flare up was probably caused by stress because something very stressful had happened in my life recently. Then when you get pains in your gut your mind goes into overdrive (well mine does) and that's pretty stressful too so it makes things worse.

    Have you been checked for coeliac disease? I agree with what you say about getting closure, I'd keep on at the doctor until you've had all the tests that they can do for IBS and those sort of gut problems and if they're all negative then that's good.

    Don't let people going on at you put you off working hard at school - I've been there and done that - school was the one place my mother couldn't really get to and she couldn't make me work (she was very ambitious for me) so I retaliated by doing the bare minimum and by not doing things at school that if I'd been left alone I would have enjoyed, so definitely don't do what I did regretted it.

    What do you do to relax? I've heard it said that yoga helps de-stress although Pilates is my thing - I always got cramp when I did yoga. You could try meditation, I've done that and it was nice and relaxing or if you're into sport that's supposed to be good for you.

    Good luck an I hope you find out what's wrong and feel better soon hopefully someone else will come along with more or even better suggestions.

  • Oh my goodness. You poor thing. Bless you! Two weeks is no time off at all and this is so mean of the adults in your life to be so cruel. You've been very brave. My 16 year old son suffers horrifically from IBS and I can tell you it's no joke. He has been off for months - in and out of hospital. In the end he has been diagnosed (after biopsies) with something called eosinophilic oesophagitis. Basically the cells in his throat see everything as a threat and he has constant diarrhoea and the most awful pains. He has been like this for 3 years now and his started after a strong course of antibiotics.

    He is now totally gluten free and dairy free too. He has to take antacids because of the inflammation but they do not help with the pain at all. He is starting to feel a little better but has been off school since beginning of December with various water infections culminating with him being rushed into hospital last week as I thought his appendix had burst. It was in fact a kidney stone which he eventual passed. The hospital said it was due to his constant diarrhoea and intolerance to dairy. He is still off now and is totally wiped out. I tell you this because you need to make sure you drink plenty of fluids. You may find you will need to exclude other groups of foods. Start with the gluten and progress to dairy. It will be difficult and your parents will have to buy you dairy free spread and rice milk etc. But they only cost £1 from Tesco

    My son also takes a spoonful of silicol gel before he eats as this puts a lining on the tummy. It's cheapest on Amazon but takes about two months for symptoms to improve. We also take a strong probiotic and after 3 months of taking i can start to see a difference. Charcoal capsules can help with the diarrhoea but you can't take them long term. Just for a few days. Unfirtjnrjt, these things all take money

    You need to see the doctor by yourself and tell him all of this. Get him to give you a letter for school and also a letter which you can carry around giving you permission to be released immediately should you need the toilet.

    See the school nurse too. These are things you can do yourself without your teachers and step mum laughing and joking.

    The pain you are in is a crippling one and it's no laughing matter.

    You are too young to be bearing it on your own

    Think about speaking with your dad too.

    You can always use this site when you are feeling low as someone will always answer you. We understand. You may feel you are on your own but this site will not forget you.

    Stress and anxiety also play a major part in IBS but tests must be done in hospital to rule out anything else

    Take care little one and I hope your pains stop soon. X

  • Wow Jon, sounds like your son has really been through it. And you have been so supportive.

    This may sound nuts but have you considered alternative therapies. I mentioned in my post to Tash going and seeing a Reiki practitioner. I think it might really help your son, particularly with his throat. Could be worth a try.

    Alison

  • Thanks. We had him intolerance tested and her advice has really helped. I'm not sure if he could cope with Reiki as he is Asberger's!!

    It's so unfair for these young children. It's horrible for adults too. I don't think anyone can judge anyone else for the pain they are in. I remember many years ago taking a colleague by ambulance to hospital. She was in so much pain and eventually - after hours- the doctor said it was just an IBS flare-up. I got so cross and told him off!! Might be just a flare-up to him but it was no laughing matter for my colleague. She couldn't breathe with the pain.

    My son is taking something called Serraptyse. It's from the silk work and helps inflammation. I think this is helping too. It's quite expensive which is why I didn't mention it to Tash as it too is alternative ad her step mum might not be keen.

    Poor you too. How dare mums be so unsympathetic. My heart breaks for you both and I would give you both a big hug right now if I could. I really feel for you. Adults can be so cruel.

  • An experienced Reiki master would adapt. You will find that Reiki relaxes your son. I know, it's an alternative therapy, and you have to be open to trying it. I myself am an extremely pragmatic and rational person, but it helped me.

    Alison

  • Sorry. I hadn't read your reply to Tash when I responded. Excellent advice for Tash. I whole hearted know agree with it. Glad you're feeling well. Will certainly look into Reiki. Joy X

  • Thank you, your reply has really made me feel much more positive. I feel for your son, and I wish I had a parent like you who cares a lot to do these things for him. I think I will go and see the doctor, ask for letters and such as it's the only way people will listen, thank you again and I will take everything you have said into consideration. One day we will all beat IBS, and be pain free X

  • Hello Tash,

    It's hard when no-one seems to understand and care. Your parents do care I'm sure, but they don't necessarily understand, or know what to do to help you. And that's no their fault either, especially if they don't have any health problems. So what can you do? Sit down with them and explain calmly what is going on, and that you need their support. Explain what you are going through and how worried you feel. If you know what you need them to do for you, tell them. Show them this reply if you want to. I had IBS for years, but I have beaten it.

    School demands and stress do not help your IBS, but they are a part of your life and you are having to face them. The more you worry, the more your IBS will probably flare. A good place to start is deciding that you are doing your best - and that will have to be enough because you can't do more. And it is enough. If other people don't believe that, then that is their problem. The teachers are trying to help you, otherwise they wouldn't bother talking about your absences. Try to accept that they just don't know. It's frustrating, but battling with what they think will hurt you - not help you.

    To start feeling more relaxed and to support your body, try this post. It's not a magic wand but it really can help, and its free: sickofibs.com/well-being/a-... You may find some of the other posts can help you too, so have a poke around.

    Your body is telling you something is up. If you sense that emotions or difficult situations are at the root of your IBS, you could ask your step mum to take you to see a Reiki practitioner near you. They will help balance what's going on in your body and relax. You may feel worse for a couple of days, but a little better afterwards. Could be worth a try.

    Hope this helps you Tash,

    Alison

  • You need to get the doctor to send you to hospital for tests

  • I'm bad when it comes to this stuff. I forget what to say, and never explain the situation as much as I should. I will try and do this though as I do need to book another appointment. Thank you

  • Perhaps you should print this thread out and take it into school and show them how real this problem is and how many people suffer fr IBS and how it is a real problem. They shouldnt dismiss your condition just because they dont fully understand it themselves. That is the biggest problem it seems, that people jut dont really understand what IBS is, why it occurs, and how to treat it

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