How to get over weight gain?

[fatiguei]

Hi all.

I’ve never had a positive body image and I’ve been struggling with an eating disorder since 2018.

For personal reasons and decided to start recovery in April 2022 and stop all the food restrictions. The first few months I ate enormous amounts of food and, obviously, it resulted in a weight gain. I gained almost 20 kg since April and I don’t know how to react to it.

I’m so mad at my body type sometimes and I just want to share that although my body is relatively healthy and my weight is within normal limits, I still hate myself and I wish I was as skinny as I used to be. I can’t stand admitting this, but it is impossible to maintain unhealthy tiny weight and being happy at the same time - that’s one of the reasons I didn’t start counting calories and restricting myself again.

However, I feel like my body is ugly and I will never be desirable, nobody would like to have sex with me, nobody would love me and sincerely call me beautiful. And the funniest thing is that my ED has eaten up my whole personality. So not only I feel like I’m ugly, I also feel like an absolutely uninteresting person who doesn’t know who they actually are.

How to get over this? Do you thing I have chances to like myself again? Do you think anyone would like me?

[Redpanda5]

Absolutely you are likable! ED’s really are a thought problem. They lie to you.

Have you considered working with a social worker who specializes in ED’s? The clinic at the hospital where my daughter is treated uses a 3 prong approach for recovery. A medical doctor, a dietician, and a social worker. Even after the weight is gained back (it sounds like maybe you had Ana?) continued monitoring is necessary.

I encourage you to reach out to a professional so you can get that support and start feeling better mentally.

[Audash]

Hi

I know how you feel. I had ED in 2018 as well, I was severly underweight (35 kg, 1m62). I started recovery in 2019. I gained 30 kg in 2019 (which is more than my initial weight, before ED) and then I started to try to maintain my weight for maybe a year or something like this. But the problem is, my body was not recovered totally and forcing to maintain the weight was not healthy as well. I gained extra kilos after letting go my last restrictions. after more time (yes years, I am sorry maybe not the thing you want to hear but I prefer to tell the truth), I started loosing the extra weight in a healthy way (I mean no restriction, sport when I feel the energy to do it etc.)

Concerning boys !

The time I had the less sex in my life is when I was underweight... because bones bags are not attractive. Sex is bad when the guy thinks he can "break" you.

But since I gained weight, I was more attractive again. I had regular boyfriends since the time. at first, i was soo difficult to remove clothes for me. Please shut down the light and so on. Now : I still have my extra kilos but i care less. and the less you care, the more the extra weight go off (Super easy to say, not easy to do, it took me years...). And you know, I am able to send sexy pics to my boyfriend and feel good and he likes the way i am.