do i really need help??

[livelaughlove]

it was over 4 years ago, soon after the birth of my daughter, that i first made myself vomit and have been doing it on and off from there however months can go by where i dont think about doing it. I feel like i can stop it just as soon as i start it and although at the very start i was vomiting up my tea, which was the only meal i was eating, now most of the time im still having 3 small meals a day and just binge purge on a night with the things my diet deprives me of. im always worried about calories and fat content and i do have irrational fears about food, weight gain and body image, i keep my calorie intake (not including the food i binge on) to around 1000 a day and im constantly adding them up and weighing out food potion sizes but this adds to the feeling of wanting to binge/purge. This probably sounds so stupid but im just really confused about what to do, seek help or just stop by myself again?!? please help!

[MissLJ]

Hi

I think I would advise anyone to seek help when they are having trouble with food and weight. It may seem very easy to you that you can just stop, but when you say you live on such a low calorie amount, and constantly worry, I ould say that is more than habit.

Your calorie total for the day is very low, especially if you are running around after a four year old. The fact that it is on your mind all of the time is something that seeking help would help you to stop.

Anxiety and irrational fears are something you can get help for. You can contact Anorexia Bulimia Care who have phonelines and advice, and are very helpful. I would also suggest seeing your GP who can refer you, and also monitor your health following a low calorie diet and self induced vomiting.

You don't have to do it alone, and it really doen't sound stupid at all. It's great that you are considering getting help. Definitely speak to someone.

Good luck.

[StarB]

Seek help now! It will only get worse.. And then you'll be too far gone and it will be 10 times more difficult. Trust me

[crazycrossstitcher]

Don't wait - get help now - I know that I thought I could stop any time I wanted - but in reality it doesn't happen - I was always going to stop tomorrow - and tomorrow never came! It's not just about the vomitting - its the thoughts and feelings and the "mind" issues that need addressing and that needs professional help. Go to your GP and ask for help now is my advice - but also speaking to Anorexia and Bulimia Care I am sure would help you - you are not alone in your struggles.

[Ludovica]

Hi my lovely friend

I have been suffering with ED for long time and now I am doing very well just because I decided to seek for help. Please ask for help, it is a battle you can definetly win but not by yourself. Yoy need help from specialists. Please feel free to go to your GP and talk about your problem. Ask your GP to refer you to your nearest mental health clinic to get in touch and get a proper treatment from people specialised in eating disorder. If you don't do that you will carry on for ever with this problem , you will struggle and you will spoil your life and your family's life. You only need to see the right people who will help you to get your life back and deal with your disorder.

I really hope you will do it today, don't wait until tomorrow call your GP now.

Lots of love and good luck

Ludovica

[livelaughlove in reply to Ludovica]

I just feel so stupid as reading some of the questions and blogs on this site makes me think mine is something and nothing.. Its like i can turn my mind off to food worries when it suits me like if i know im going out with friends or family for a meal etc i wont eat very much that day and i'll go to the gym to kind of compensate but im more than capable of eating a meal and a pudding without 'getting rid of it' despite the fact that it does worry me. Yes, im always totting the calories up in my head and food occupies my mind the majority of the time but if i know ive gone way over my allowed amount i can put the day down as a 'right off' and start again on my diet the next day. It will literally be when im sat at home and have the urge for junk food but i dont want the calories that go with it, that i will binge purge, as i could never just have one pudding, biscuit, icecream etc as i know that wont satisfy my craving.. however i do buy food in that i no will be easier to purge like ice cream, obviously it is all done in secret, i feel guilty about doing it and im always saying 'right that was the last time' but always go back and do it again whether it be years, months or days later.. im so confused about all of this right now :S xxx

[Ludovica]

Hi livelaughlove

Please don't feel stupid thinking your problem is not a problem compared to what the others say.

The food occupies most of your time, you are obsessed with it, you count calories, you starve if you know you will be eating more in the evening, you think about dieting all the time , you go to the gym to compensate the food intake and most of all you binge and purge.

All that it is part of an eating disorder, so don't minimise your problem and seek for help.

I have been suffering with it for long time and I have always minimised how serious was it until I got very ill. I only got better with appropriate help so please don't hesitate to seek for professional help this is the only way to get rid of your disorder. We all think we can control it whenever we want, it is not true. I thought I could do it untiL my life was at serious risk

Lxxx